NO SURPRISES IN THE FINAL WEEK

Boasters League final round~~

As anticipated, nothing changed over the final week in regards to which teams were going to make the play-offs. The only change in the standings came from “Mongoose” who was tied for first place last week but because of the round 9 bye, dropped to 4^th. “Destiny” did make it interesting however, since last week they were 20 points off 6^th placed “Wardogs” and with many make-up matches over the final 7 days, came within 4 points of pulling off the unlikely upset.

“Winky-Dinks” and “Butter Nutz” earn the first round bye for the finals, something you could hardly argue about when looking over the stats for the second half. Even though court usage this year has been off the charts, league participation was clearly less than the first half. I have no idea why that would be the case – it’s not as if people aren’t playing. Like every year, I like to share with you the data of the league:

·         Overall, 63% of matches were played. That’s down 13% from the first half.

·         “Winky-Dinks” played the most matches – 73%. They won 50% of those matches.

·         “Foss-ters” played the least amount of matches – 49%. They won 69% of those matches. That’s the league’s best winning percentage.

·         “WallEED” had the worst winning percentage with 27%

·         “WallEED” picked up 25% of their second half total in round 1. Only 4 of their players scored more than 10 points overall – including bonus points. Every single player in “Winky-Dinks” scored more than 10 points.

·         “Winky-Dinks” also picked up the most bonus points – 74. The same amount they picked up in the first half. The next best team with bonus points was “Butter Nutz” with 59. Again, the same amount as in the first half.

·         “Foss-ters” picked up the least amount of bonus points – 29. The most bonus points they picked up in any week was 5. The least amount of bonus points “Winky-Dinks” picked up in any week was 6.

·         Six players picked up all 8 bonus points. They were 8 in the first half.

·         Six players played all of their matches. There were 26 in the first half.

·         Only Tom MacEachern (“Mercedes”) played all 8 matches and was undefeated.

·         12 players didn’t pick up any bonus points. 8 of those players come from the bottom 2 teams.

·         No team played all 13 matches in any one round.

·         Three players on “Mercedes” are responsible for 44% of the team’s total.

·         The most points any team scored in one round was “Mongoose” with 32 in round 1.

·         The least amount of points in one round was scored by “WallEED” in round 9 with 3.

In individual honors, the All Star team represents 6 of the 9 teams. Each of the All Stars picked up at least 5 bonus points in the second half of the season, and played most of their matches – which is the only way you’re going to win this honor. The points are a full season accumulation – which means the first half has been added to their total. Introducing the All Stars:



Tom MacEachern

 

1.      Manny Tancer (“Winky-Dinks”) – 48 points

2.      Paul Huth (“Mongoose) – 34 points

3.      Sante Fratarcangeli (“Butter Nutz”) – 43 points

4.      Elliot Shafer (“Mercedes”) -  48 points

5.      Tom Healy (“Winky-Dinks”) – 46 points

6.      Chuck Doyle (“Butter Nutz”) – 46 points

7.      Brian Bartes (“Vivio’s”) – 39 points

8.      Ted Morris (“Mercedes”) – 44 points

9.      Matt Hayduk (“Mercedes”) – 30 points

10.  Tom MacEachern (“Mercedes”) – 54 points

11.  Chris Moyer (Butter Nutz”) – 45 points

12.  Hans Flick (“Destiny”) – 44 points

13.  Bill Rivard (“Vivio’s”) – 34 points

Congratulations to the players for putting the effort in all season long.

Now it’s the business end. Head-to-head match ups. Winners moves on, losers have to wait until next year. It’s more important than ever to collect those bonus points, and obviously play the matches. Predictions? I’m going to plead the 5^th on this one, in case I upset anyone. Maybe one of you would like to put your neck on the line instead?

LET YOUR RACQUET DO THE TALKING

2013 Singles Club Championships – Apr 1 – May 2

Last year, we begged for an answer to the question of who could stop the Haggarty – Logan dominance. Pablo Buitron answered the call and we crowned a new champion. Now the question asked is who can stop Pablo? Or at least seriously challenge him. Certainly, Peter Logan is still a genuine contender, and could Kirk Haggarty be if he hopefully plays. But what about Jed Elley? Can John Rakolta step it up? It will be an interesting Open draw that will unfold.

There is of course much interest in the other 6 categories too. Elliot Shafer is on the prowl for a 3.5 title and should be battling it out hard with the likes of Sante, Josh Slominski, Tom Fabbri and a handful of others. Tom MacEachern is no doubt looking at a 3.0 win after taking the 2.5 DAC Classic division, but there are many contenders across the board, too numerous to list them all.

Categories are: 2.5 – 3.0 – 3.5 – 4.0 – 4.5 – 5.0 – 5.5

Here is what you need to take note of if you plan on challenging for a sacred title!

• You can only enter ONE division. Choose carefully.
• Tell which division you would like to enter. If I feel you are too low, I will move you up anyway.
• All matches are best of 5 games to 11 scoring. There is no consolation draw.
• Each match will have a deadline for completion. It is your responsibility to have the match completed by that deadline. Failure to do so may result in defaults being awarded.
• If you are away for a significant amount of time during the month of April, then please do not enter. The event cannot fall behind as we wait for your return!
• ALL finals must be played on Thursday, May 2. If you plan on making the final, please block off this date in your calendar.

Registration deadline is March 26. There is no cost to play the event, but you MUST be a Blackballer. May 2 is also the night of the awards dividend – one of the biggest nights of the year for the court sports. You should make it a priority to attend!

TOLEDO RISES TO THE OCCASION

Toledo Tournament – Mar 1-3

I’ll toot the same ol’ horn again, with the same scratchy tune: Why don’t more members experience this tournament? I’m frankly shocked since it really couldn’t be easier. The social life is great, it’s easy to get to, and the beer is from the same never-ending well as ours from the DAC Classic. What more could you ask for?

This squash tournament truly is about the camaraderie. Not the squash. Oh, we play that too, but the emphasis is shifted to the off-court activities. So much so, that often the on-court activities take a severe beating. Players suffer in their performances. You can blame the pygmy courts all you like where even hitting on your own you feel like you want to call an interference let on yourself, but truth be told, we are all in the same boat (or mini-raft) and going to bed at 4am the night before isn’t exactly conducive to the perfect match preparation.

Peter Logan represented us in the hardball A (singles) – a trip he has been making annually for at least 25 years now. A 3-1 winner in his first round where he played Andy Effler of the Effler plague, (I’m sure there’s a separate phone book in Toledo with the heading “The Efflers”), Andy must have felt like he was playing on gigantic courts. Why? Because he lives in Columbus where his club down there has courts 15 ½ feet wide.  That’s 3 feet narrower than Toledo’s. How do you play… what on earth… who thought… errrr, what? Do they play with table-tennis paddles? Peter then moved on to face John Seidel – the Toledo squash pro. He lost 3-0, but it was a tight 3-0, and he can take consolation in the fact that John went on to win the division. At least he lost to the winner.

I played the Open and had a relatively easy time of it this year. 3-0 matches all the way through, a couple of my opponents fell victim to preparing themselves for matches with excessive amber liquid intake. I’m not talking about Gatorade or 5-hour energy either.

As usual, the beer girls on Friday night did a superb job. It was a delightful evening as the players just hung out at the club after the matches drinking and chatting away. We eventually moved into the hospitality suite – a room set up for the Open players and their guests to extend the night as far as their bodies allow. Some of the bodies couldn’t keep up, as one of the (women) players decided to pull up a piece of carpet in the middle of the group, fall asleep, let another player clean their feet and then insert olives between her toes. Guess it goes well with cheese. I’m not sure if the olives were devoured – or if they used in the next round of martinis.

Saturday evening is the big formal dinner. Once the speeches were over, it has become customary for one of the pro players - Ray Lindsay from Cleveland – to perform the Haka in front of the crowd. The Haka is a tribal war dance from the Maoris in New Zealand. I’m sure Ray hates it and loves it at the same time, but it didn’t take much convincing for him to take his shirt off, jump on a dinner table and stomp and chant his way to a standing ovation. He almost put holes in the table. After dinner is the annual ‘Spring Fling’ party with live band. We generally hang out for a while before moving onto other venues. It my case, the other venue was bed (I was playing the next day), for others it was to the local watering holes. One of the establishments, I’m told, was a seedy bar that hosted another live band that made thrash metal sound like lullabies. The ‘mosh pit’ was borderline suicidal. Good times. Good times.

And you should all join in on those good times. Do it next year. Join me (and Peter Logan!) and start making this a trip not to pass up.

DOUBLES 100 SHOWDOWN

Record numbers. Yep, once again participation is on the rise. The Doubles 100 was no exception to this trend as we received 44 players this year in the A and B categories, surpassing last year’s total by 8.

That’s the good news. The bad news was that overall, 3 forfeits were awarded through the event. Two of those came from health issues which were very unfortunate circumstances but I can happily say that the parties involved are all okay and getting back to into their peak physical condition. The third forfeit came from a regrettable scheduling snafu where the players involved for the life of them could not find a time to get together on court. That time eventually was their undoing. It should be mentioned that when entering an event such as this, it is imperative that you make yourself available – being away for a week at a time makes it extremely difficult to coordinate calendars. But enough of that. Let’s cover the matches that were played:

B Draw: Going in as the top seeds were 2011 B draw winners and 2012 finalists Mike Petix and John Chouinard. An effective duo of Mike’s speed and John’s ball placement, they got passed a pair of Toms (in McCarthy and MacFarlane) in their first match 3-1 to reach the quarter finals against Drew Creamer and Rich Stimson. This team would have a similar tactical modus operandi as Petix / Chouinard, so my prediction was for a close result and if I was hung from my toenails over a roasting fire to make me a pick a winner, I would have begged for mercy and then leant slightly in favor of Mike and John. How wrong I would have been. I’m not sure what happened, but not much time expired between me watching them serve the first ball of the first game and then seeing Rich climb the stairs to my office to report their 3-0 victory. I guess they either played extremely well, their opponents had an off day, or a combination of the two.

Meeting them in the final was my third seeded team of Joe Moran and Ken Katz. A 3-1 win in their first round over Ryan Bendzinski and Dan Follis (2 of those games went to tie-break) took them into semi final to tackle the second seeded Shail Arora and Bob Garvey. Shail and Bob are no strangers to success as they have won the Doubles Select tournament together in 2011 and have proven to complement each other well. Lamentably, during the third game of this match where the score was tied at 1-1 and it was building into something epic, Shail injured his knee moving into the front corner and the match had to be called. There was no way he could continue, and nor could they pick up the match at a later date – the healing would take too long. It’s not the tastiest way to win, and maybe they would have anyway, but Joe and Ken moved on to the final.  



Ken Katz, Joe Moran, Rich Stimson, Drew Creamer



Joe and Ken’s tactic was clearly to pummel Drew as much as possible. But keeping it away from Rich was harder done than said. Rich covered the large court to excess – now, that’s not to say Drew didn’t do his part. Drew was certainly the steady rock he needed to be. Creamer / Stimson took the first 2 games 15-13, 15-12. For the third, the onslaught towards Drew increased and even the “speedy” Stimson couldn’t stop the avalanche of balls directed to his partner. Joe and Ken wrestled the momentum away, won the third 15-8 and looked like they were going to take it to a 5^th game with a 13-8 lead in the 4^th. But cue the comeback. Creamer / Stimson steadied the ship and one rally at a time tied it up to 13-all for a 5 point tie-break. Drew’s serve late in the game pushed his team to the finish line taking the 4^th 18-15 and the 3-1 victory.

A Draw: Peter Logan and Patrick Petz hooked up together for the 5^th straight year, looking to win a second doubles 100 title (something they achieved in 2011), and to avenge last year’s 5-set finals loss to Mike Counsman and Stu Boynton. Their path to the final proved they deserved the top seeding I handed then, winning both matches 3-0 to get there. Awaiting them were 2 new members that had never reached the final of this event before: Eric Green and John Dunwoody. Their path was a little rockier than Patrick and Pete’s. A 3-1 win in match one over John Berg and Bill Oddo put them in the semi final where they faced Mike Counsman and Bowden Brown. Just like Mike, Bowden has also experienced success in the doubles 100 when he won in 2008 and in 2010 with then partner Bob Thibodeau. (Bob, I believe, was spending some time in Florida for some reason during this event. Couldn’t possibly be because of the weather…). For 3 games, the semi was a tight affair. John and Eric had a 2-1 lead after losing the first 12-15, then taking the second with the same score line and pinching the third 17-14. The 4^th game went completely against the grain of the match as the steamroller came out and flattened Mike (it was a big steamroller) and Bowden 15-3. The final was almost a carbon copy.

Once again, if I was strung up and forced to make a prediction, I would have been wrong. Obviously, I placed Petz / Logan as the number one seeds for a reason. I thought they would win. They almost did. John and Eric won the first two games in very close contests. 15-12 and 18-16. It could have been a 3-0 whitewash for the pair, but at 13-all in the third game, with a 5-point tie-break, they only managed to take on more point and lost it 18-14. Had the momentum changed? Could Pete and Patrick take the ball and run with it? Short answer – no. Eric and John dominated the 4^th game and shut down any chance of a comeback. The 15-8 win gave them both their first doubles 100 title. Everybody involved agreed it was a great, enjoyable match – just what we all love to hear.

A FEW GOOD MEN NEEDED FOR WINDSOR

Members, we live in a world that has four walls and those four walls need to be played on by men and women with squash racquets. Who's gonna do it? You? You, DAC member? You all have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You crave for squash matches and pray for the tournaments; you have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that when losing a squash match, while tragic, probably improves your overall game and that my existence, while overwhelming and incomprehensible to you, improves your game. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at squash clubs, you want me on that ‘T’, you need me on that ‘T’. We use words like ‘racquet up’, ‘watch the ball’, ‘hit good length’. We use them as the backbone of a squash tactic trying to defend something. You should be using them as a game plan. I always have the time and the inclination to explain the sport to any person who rises and sleeps under the guidance of squash that I provide and then practices the manner in which I provide it. I am honored when you just say "thank you," and continue practicing on your way. So, I suggest that you pick up a racquet and stand on court. Either way, I absolutely care that you support the Windsor Squash Club’s tournament.

Can we count on you? Ready to enlist? Here’s the package: $65 entry fee (plus tax). You can enter up to 2 divisions and choose between: Open, A, B, C, D, Ladies A + B, 40+, 50+, Junior, and Doubles A, B and Mixed. They will also provide food and beer, and I will presume a t-shirt although the entry form doesn’t actually specify you’ll get one so don’t take my word on that. For the Doubles, they are implementing a rule that there will be no tie-breaks. When the score reaches 14-all, a sudden death rally must be played. Makes it more exciting and I am also going to presume they are doing it for time reasons, but I’m not sure I like the idea too much.

Windsor had 32 players enter in the DAC Classic. I don’t expect us to match that number, but we should be making our presence felt. Now, for some reason I cannot attach their poster to the blog, so to enter please contact Graeme Williams on 519-966-2141 or squash@windsorsquash.ca . Payment must accompany registration. Don’t make me order a “code red”!

FINALISTS DECIDED?

Boasters League round 8~~

Could it be that round 9 will only be played to see what seeding the 6 finalists will receive? Are the bottom three teams too far behind to even be considered? Going into the last week, the 20 point difference between 6^th and 7^th looks monumental. Especially when you consider everybody has 7 days left to get as many results in as possible. It has been a lackluster second half in terms of playing matches, and I fear “Destiny”, “Foss-ters”, and “WallEED” are looking at an early league end.

So more of the interest will be focused on which two teams end up first and second and therefore receive the first round bye in the finals. I’m going to put a “brave” prediction forward and say it will be “Winky-Dinks” and “Butter Nutz”.  Even though “Mongoose” is tied with the league leaders right now, they must sit out week 9 with the bye, and I don’t quite see “Mercedes” closing the gap that much. But a lot can happen in a week, there are literally a ton of matches to be made up, and who knows, maybe “WallEED” have it all figured out and are on the brink of a colossal comeback…!

Activity was rather healthy last night, “Winky-Dinks” once again blitzed the bonus point count picking up another 10 and also playing the most round 8 matches up to date (along with “Vivio’s”). “Butter Nutz” had their quietest round of the season with only 4 bonus points and 4 matches completed – something captain Sante wasn’t particularly pleased about this close to the finals. Not that they won’t be playing in them, but finishing top of the standings is a minor victory.

A few tough, close matches to mention: Bruce Shaw (“Wardogs”) went down fighting 2-1 to Terry Lang (“Destiny”), both players coming off the court panting for survival, almost to the point of not being able to put a coherent sentence together; meanwhile on the court next door, Jay Poplawski (“Vivio’s”) and Kevin Kennedy (“Winky-Dinks”) where putting themselves through a similar punishment – with Jay taking the 2-1 win; Bill Rivard (“Vivio’s”) picked up his first win of the second half taking down the effervescent Britt-Marie (“Winky-Dinks”) 2-1 (notice how Britt-Marie doesn’t need a surname attached anymore. Just like ‘Madonna’. We all know who it is!!).

The last round is nigh. MARCH 7 (inclusive) is the deadline for all matches and scores to be in. The quarter final schedule will be sent out on March 8.

DAC SQUASH CLASSIC- THE FINAL FRONTIER

Squash. The final frontier. These are the matches of the DAC Squash Classic. Its 4-day mission: To explore strange new opponents, seek out new friends and new socializing partners; to boldly play how no man has played before.

Just like the previous 2 years, the tournament reached capacity well before the deadline. The support from our friends in London and Windsor hasn’t waned and I must shout out a special ‘thank you’ to the London members who made the effort to arrive on Thursday to play. It definitely helped me with the organization. We were also honored this year to have players come from Toronto, Flint, the U.P., Lansing, and we even had 3 come from Pittsburgh who couldn’t actually play due to injury, but decided to come anyway for the festivities. However, no one traveled further than our old red-headed companion Ken MacDonald who made a special appearance all the way from Denver.

DAC representation was also very strong this year, and our members performed admirably. In fact, I would rank this as the best overall result for us since I started running the Classic back in 2005. Let’s recount:

Tom MacEachern and Ted Morris

2.5 draw~ Probably the largest 2.5 draw that I can remember, we had 26 players, 7 of which were women. The closest match of the bracket just happened to be the final match of the Thursday evening. A match that started at around 10pm and didn’t finish until close to 11pm. Niko Ahee and Josh Gershonowicz had the ‘refuse to lose’ attitude that took them to a 4th and 5th game tie break. Niko had a 2 games to 1 lead, and had many chances to win the 4th but Josh just wouldn’t quit. Taking the game 16-14, the 5th was almost as grueling. Match balls were saved by both players, and in the end it was Josh snagging the victory 14-12. It was one of the best matches of the weekend, pity only Josh’s girlfriend and I watched it! Niko went on to win the consolation draw, this time ending up on the winning side of a 5 set marathon taking the final 11-9 in the last game. Josh on the other hand lost his second round. DAC members dominated the quarter finals of the main draw. Tom MacEachern motored through his opponents dropping only 2 games on the way to the final, one to Joey Gaylord and one to Justin Winkelman. Meeting him there was Ted Morris, who also only dropped 2 games on his way - both of them to Joe Schaden in the semi. The final was not as close, Tom was on a mission and completed the 3-0 victory in commanding fashion.

3.0 draw~ Once more, DAC members were in charge of this bracket. Unfortunately, even with the weight of numbers behind us, we couldn’t pull off the win. But we were close. Sean Moran reached the semi with a solid 3-2 win in the quarters over John Corcoran (Franklin) and met up with Sunil Lall from Flint. The result was 3-0 to Sunil, but all 3 games were only decided by 2 points. Sean’s loss could easily have been reversed and if it was we would have been guaranteed a DAC winner. On the other side of the draw, Tom Healy got to the final after beating Tom Fabbri 11-9 in the 5th in their semi. It was a back and forth, taxing battle between the two and no doubt the time Tom Healy spent on court cost him much needed energy to take on Sunil. Not taking any credit away from Sunil, he was the more consistent player in the draw and definitely deserved the win as he beat Tom 3-1.

3.5 draw~ The biggest draw of the tournament, the 29 players had some punishing matches amongst themselves. I can thank a handful of them for pushing the schedule late, but that’s a minor inconvenience when the results are close and the quality of the squash reflects those results. Just to list a few: Justin Jacobs 12-10 in the 5th win over Anil Kathuria; Adam Pole (Windsor) 12-10 in the 5th win over James Van Dyke; Ken “Ginger Bear” MacDonald 11-9 in the 5th win over Justin Jacobs only to lose 3-2 in his next round to Elliot Shafer. Three of the four semi finalists were DAC members, but just like the 3.0 draw, we had the odds with us but the dice weren’t rolling our way. The man to beat for the draw was a big South African from Flint - Malcolm Hendricks. Malcolm stormed through his matches winning 3-0 all the way to the final but had to pull out a special comeback to actually win it. Al Iafrate was wondering how he was going to tackle Malcolm after beating Mike Petix 3-2 in his semi. Two games into the final, Al wasn’t wondering anymore - he was 2-0 up with now his only worry being fitness. Regrettably, it caught up with him and Malcolm took advantage cleaning Al up in games 3, 4 and 5. Al was done but surely happy with his performance. Malcolm, however still had work to do.

Brien Baker

4.0 draw~ On tour, the South Africans were renowned for their toughness, their ability to work through physical discomfort, and it made anyone playing against them have to prepare themselves for a punishing dogfight. Malcolm Hendricks also entered the 4.0 draw. Now, that’s not unusual - I had about half the registrations playing in 2 categories - but what is unusual is to reach the final of both. By the time Al had finished with him, Malcolm had only a few minutes to get ready for his 8th match of the weekend (and 4th match that day)- the final against Brien Baker. His body was hurting, but his effort was valiant. Brien had reached the final by beating his pal Phil Pitters 3-1 in round 1, Matt Osburn (Toledo) 3-1 in round 2, and taking a tough 3-2 win from Marcus Plowright (London). It was clear that as hard as Malcolm tried, he simply couldn’t keep up enough against Brien and inevitably he went down 3-1. The gallant South African could now relax and enjoy his beer.



Andrew Pitters and Berto Mill

4.5 draw~ The story of David slewing Goliath. The result of this category has created more chatter than any other. Berto Mill. A 13 year old - a small 13 year old - from Windsor has proven to all of us that you don’t need to be big and strong to win. Just good. Very good, in fact. After Berto beat Phil Pitters 3-1 in the first round, everybody looked at Phil sideways asking how on earth he could let that happen. Phil didn’t have any answers, and nor did Peter Shumaker - who also lost 3-1 to him, or George Kordas who couldn’t win any games, or London’s Murray Shaw. Could Berto possibly win the division? Andrew Pitters was his last opponent. Andrew played very well to get to the final, beating Anthony Fracchia 11-9 in the 5th in the second round which I sadly missed but have been told it was a sensational contest and up there for match of the tournament. It was a great final. The only downer was that it was 3-0. The crowd wanted more. But Berto was done. He had already won. Now, just wait until Berto actually grows and does get bigger and stronger. He’ll be a fine(r) young player.



Jed Elley and Aly Somani

5.0 draw~ Did I say that South Africans are tough? The DAC has it’s own in Jed Elley. Smooth and quick, Jed was always a favorite in my mind to take the 5.0 division. He didn’t let me down. A solid performance all through the weekend, he was basically too consistent for all that stood in his way. He played the final against Aly Somani (Toronto) and after a rough start losing the first game, he gathered himself nicely together to take full control of the match and charge through the next three games. It was a competitive draw - only 7 of the 20 matches were 3-0.

5.5 draw~ Only an 8-man draw this year, DAC interest was centered on our club champion Pablo Buitron. We were all looking forward to his semi final match against Mark Eugeni (Windsor) and it was a match worth waiting for. Pablo took a 2-0 lead with steady, tight squash, not allowing Mark to use his trademark racquet skills too effectively. But he couldn’t keep it up and Mark doesn’t need much encouragement to start slotting a few winners and grabbing the momentum. Games 3 and 4 went to the Canadian, which set up the 5th into an all out wrestling match. Great long rallies, Pablo at one stage executing a full length body dive, desperate to stay alive. In the end, though, Mark had a couple of shots too many in the bag and took the 5th 13-11. That moved him into the final where for the third year running he was to play Brad Hanebury (London). And for the third year running, Brad won. This time it was 11-8 in the 5th. Last year it was 11-9 in the 5th.

Doubles~ If you are still awake, I’ll quickly run through the doubles results. Very tight matches plagued the tournament, exactly what the doctor ordered. The DAC did have one winner - Mike Counsman in the Doubles B won the final 3-2 with partner Paul Gebrael (Windsor). Mark Eugeni with his partner in crime Jon Uffelman (BAC) got revenge on Brad as he beat him in the Doubles A final 3-1, and in the Doubles C, Ron Henry and Heather Betts (London) stopped the winning run of team Smith (Lindsay and Anne from London) who had won it the previous 2 years with a well played 3-1 victory.

So the curtain closes on another successful Classic. Our sponsors are to be heartily thanked, the event wouldn’t run if it wasn’t for your generous support. I look forward to seeing you all again in 2014 - the weekend after the Superbowl. Mark it on your calendar, and make sure you enter early if you plan on playing.

To see all the results of the tournament, go to: DAC Classic Tournament Results

PLENTY OF WORK TO DO

Boasters League round 6~~

It’s a hole that at least to me, looks way too deep to dig out of. Like dooms day preppers, “WallEED” have entrenched themselves solidly in the cellar, barricaded the entrance, set up camp, and appear to have no intention of ever finding daylight. Being only 15 points off the 6^th (and last) finals berth doesn’t sound all that disastrous, but considering there are only 3 rounds left and they have the bye next week, we could be saying ‘bye-bye’ to them relatively soon. They have “WallEED” themselves into a corner. (You know I’ve been waiting all season long to release that gem…)

The other team on the precipice is “Foss-ters” Currently 7^th, they have the bye week in round 8 to look forward to which very possibly could be the nail in their coffin for the season as well. These two teams have an awful lot of work to do if they want to salvage anything. And we may as well throw “Destiny” into that mix, although they have already had their bye week, but playing catch-up from 8^th is not a position you want to be in.

It was a quiet night on the courts for round 6 and I’m guessing it was because of the DAC Classic starting today. People are resting up before the big weekend. However, it did not stop the “Winky-Dinks” from collecting 10 bonus points – one more point than they collected on the court. A couple tough results to mention: Rich Stimson (“Vivio’s”) hustled his way to a 2-1 win over Paul Huth (“Mongoose”), as did Bruce Vande Vusse (“Mongoose”) over Jay Poplawski (“Vivio’s”). Anthony Kalogeridis “Winky-Dinks” picked up his first victory of the season beating Blake Kenny (“Wardogs”) 2-1; and Paul Flanagan (“Destiny”) held off the awkward style of Andy Housey (“WallEED”) for a 2-1 triumph.

With 3 weeks to play before the finals start, questions are raised: Can “WallEED”, “Destiny” and “Foss-ters” make a concerted effort to avoid elimination? Who will end up on top of the standings? Will Sante’s “Butter Nutz” ask him to stop wearing inside-out tracksuit pants? What was the best thing before sliced bread? Much to contemplate.

Most importantly, take note of your deadline to have all the scores in to me: Thursday, March 7 (inclusive). That’s 3 weeks away.

I leave you with another photo from BMO’s pics from last week. This one is of Brittany Paquette attacking the keg. Probably something we’ll see a lot of over the next 4 days. (And not just from Brittany!)

THE TOLEDO (PARTY) SQUASH CLASSIC

Two weeks after you have flushed all the beer from your veins from the DAC Classic, it is time to refill yourself with a weekend trip to Toledo! There is nothing like following up a long weekend playing squash and drinking with a long weekend playing squash and drinking. And it’s only an hour away. I’ll be hanging out all weekend working on my partying squash and be trying to out- drink play my opponents.

One of the biggest attractions of this event are the beer-servers on the Friday night. They do a magnificent job making sure you never see the bottom of your beer cup. I realize it’s a little sexist – after all, the models are for the guys – so for all the ladies who would like come, I am sure as the night wears on you could ask some of the male participants to serve you. They’ll be falling over themselves to accommodate. Word of warning though – careful what you wish for!

Since the main focus of the trip is drinking playing squash, there are numerous categories to choose from. All categories are mixed. The age groups: 40+; 50+; 60+. Levels: A (5.5 and up); B (4.5 – 5.5); C (3.5 – 4.5); D (2.5 – 3.5); Hardball singles A/B; and E/novice (self-explanatory!). I will be playing in the Open category, an invite 8-man event. The organizer – Jon Seidel – invites 8 pros out every year to complete for booze pride and more booze trophies. I must say, he is the ultimate host.

Now the catch. Their infamous courts. When you arrive at the Toledo Club, make sure you bring the following: A map. A compass. Extra food and water. A flare. Overnight provisions. A will. A GPS device. Deep in the dungeon of the Toledo Club you will find a keg 5 squash courts. People have been known to get lost and never seen again while on the search for these courts. (Rumors have it that that is really what happened to Rob Welsh, our long-lost member who played a couple of years ago and hasn’t been seen since.) I am sure there are a few skeletons in the closet throughout the bowels of the building (literally!). Best bet is to follow your senses – the smell of beer sound of the squash ball will get you there…

Once you find your way, the keg squash courts are those small white boxes lined up – you may think to yourself that you have grown a foot and half during your arduous downward trek, or you have ventured into the land of Lilliput, but that’s actually not the case. The Toledo courts are in fact smaller – 2 and a half feet narrower than what you will be used to. It’s an experience to play on – and a challenge you should relish. It will take a lot of booze practice to get comfortable, so make sure you stay drunk relaxed and enjoy the drinking squash.

Check out the poster for all the details – including special price on a tournament hotel which is less than 5 minutes from the club. So join me for a weekend of great social fun. It’s a perfect way to work on your squash drinking.

MEET A MEMBER - 15

Not too many members have improved quite at the rate as this young man. Just about 12 months into his playing career and already he is knocking on the door of the 3.5 level, which he may just barge through instead. He won every match he played in the first half of the boasters league 3-0 and jumped up 3 spots for the second half and still hasn’t lost.. Few members are on court as often – in fact, outside of myself, no one has made more court reservations. Clearly, that dedication is paying off.

 

MEET… ELLIOT SHAFER

The Squash Joint (TSJ): You know you have improved rapidly. Did you think you would do so at such a speed, and how far do you believe you can go? Don’t be modest now…

Squash is an awesome sport that I would recommend to anyone of all athletic abilities.  Frustrating for sure but lord is it addictive. Getting better at anything in life takes practice and I have really committed myself to improving so yes, I did and still do think I can improve as much as I want to with constant effort. As for how much I could improve, honestly I would like to compete with the best of the best at club level. Hopefully someday I will take a club championship or two.  You know though, after witnessing the onslaught that BAC dished out to us in the Farris Cup, I really walked away offended.  Goals for my second year of playing are to win the club championship at whichever level I compete, so that next year I can have the opportunity to take on a sandbagger over at Bushwood.

TSJ: This clearly isn’t your first athletic endeavor. What other sport or sports did you participate in before squash? How does squash compare?

Squash really doesn’t compare to any other sport that I have played before. I have always been a good athlete and love to compete but growing up I was always playing team sports. In high school I played hockey, lacrosse and football and now have taken on distance running.  With lacrosse and hockey it takes a tremendous amount of hand eye coordination to excel and obviously endurance is the key to running so those are really the only similarities to squash that I see.  I would say squash has been most challenging to me though.  To be able to combine endurance, fines, coordination, speed, strength and stamina all at such a fast pace is really hard to say the least.  

TSJ: You have been given the ability to speak to the entire population of the planet at the same time. Every single person is listening. What do you say?

Calm down…

TSJ: The population of the world was so impressed with what you said; they made you President for a day. Name one law you would add / change / remove. Why?

Voter registration should be screened by a US history exam and Guns limited to those willing to take a mental health screening. 

TSJ: Without choosing your current occupation, what would be your dream job? 

 Professional athlete more specifically to play for the wings  

TSJ: What one event in the history of the world would you have liked to witness? (Past or present)

Wow that’s a tough question.  Probably the American Revolution or be able to witness the rise and fall of the Roman Empire. 

TSJ: If Hollywood made a movie of your life, who would you want to play you? Which actress would be the love interest?

Patrick Swayze.  “Nobody puts baby in corner.”

Too many to actresses to choose from but Jennifer Anniston sure would look good next to me.

TSJ: What was the last…

a)                  Book you read…  Arguing with idiots by Glen Beck

b)                  Movie you saw that wasn’t your choice… Not sure probably the notebook

c)                  Words you said to your ex-girlfriend… Leave me alone, please. Well please might not be exactly true but along those lines.

d)                  Item of clothing you bought … A pair of jeans

e)                  New Year’s resolution you made but couldn’t even come close to keeping… Well I lost to Dane in squash before the New Year and told myself I would never lose to him again.  So far it has held up.

f)                   Time you tried something you haven’t tried before…Using my friends mac to work something out in excel, never again.  

TSJ: You can use one word answers or elaborate…

a)      Star Trek or Star Wars?  Star Wars, these two don’t compare.

b)      Beer or hard liquor? I don’t drink, hah.

c)      Football or baseball? Squash

d)      Michael Jordan or LeBron James MJ all day

e)      Adventure holiday or relaxing beach vacation? Depends on my mood but after this cold spell I’ll take the beach

f)       Sea food or steak? Steak, 125°

g)      Xbox or Wii? Xbox

h)      Ferrari or Lamborghini? Ferrari

i)        Bungy jump or sky-dive? I hate heights so ill watch from below.

j)        For 24 hours straight, be forced to listen to Justin Bieber or be forced to listen to the Wiggles? No questions asked, Bieber fever baby.

TSJ: Now to see if you are willing to embarrass yourself a little. Just one final question(s) aimed to reveal something about you a bit more personal. Ready? What is the worst Christmas gift that you have ever knowingly given somebody? Why did you do that? What was the worst gift you have ever received and what did you do with it?

Well in college my buddies and I all had a gift exchange and well never mind these things are better left unsaid.  Worst gift I have ever received came from the same exchange a year later so again, let’s move on.

   

I appreciate Elliot taking the time to answer these in-depth, probing questions! With the amount of time he spends on court, it will be interesting to see just how far up the ranks (and how quickly) he will rise. I am sure many players are looking over their shoulders worried they could be his next victim. He is one of the first members to take on the job of organizing an event himself (along with Anil Kathuria) when they ran a tournament the day before Thanksgiving… should I be looking over my shoulder too…?

MAKING A STATEMENT

Boasters League round 5~~

The “Butter Nutz” have spoken. It’s a pretty loud and clear declaration that they will be the ones to beat for the 2012-2013 Boasters League title. In a match-up with one of the other top 4 teams yesterday – the “Winky-Dinks” - the “Butter Nutz” opened a large can of kick-$@&* and squarely delivered knock-out blows all evening long. With 8 matches completed, they won seven of them – four of which were 3-0. None more impressive than Andy Adamo’s 3-zip win over Manny Tancer. And it wasn’t as if Manny didn’t play well - Andy played his best squash of the season, which is perfect timing leading into next week’s DAC Classic.

On the broken record of repeating myself, the bottom four teams also kept to the script. In fact, between the four of them, they picked up as many points last night combined as the “Butter Nutz” did on their own! Clearly that won’t get the job done. Maybe they are fighting not to get into the play-offs?

The closest match of the evening went to Andrew Tignanelli’s (“Butter Nutz”) win over Niko Ahee (“Winky-Dinks”). It was 3-0, but 15-13; 15-14; 15-14. Obviously Niko was disappointed not to pick up at least one of those games if not all three! Xander Wagner (“Butter Nutz”) scored his 3^rd win of the half with a 2-1 victory over Britt-Marie Olofsson (“Winky-Dinks”) and Dan Houlf (“Mercedes”) recorded his first win with a 2-1 triumph over Tom Bergh (“Mongoose”).

With four rounds to go – and yes, there is league next week, the day before the DAC Classic starts – it appears the standings may already be determined for the 6-team play-offs… or at least 4 of the teams look safe. “Butter Nutz” will be sitting out next week, but with a 17 point lead may still be league leaders anyway. The bottom two teams play each other as well and could really help themselves out with some commitment to play the matches and turn up. If not, they will most likely find the hurdle to catch up too big.

I will leave you with a photo from bubbly BMO who snapped a few shots last night of posing members. The first one is Peter Shumaker gnashing his teeth and threatening to knock out yours. But not to worry, he is after all a dentist.