“Timed-Handicap-Quiz-Team-Squash-Tournament”
~ Friday, July 11
We all play squash for the benefits the exercise gives our
bodies. It makes us all look like professional athletes, chisels our muscles,
makes us taller, gives us eternal life, and most importantly gives us the
excuse to drink beer. While being a squash player certainly turns us into
superior human beings physically, we really should be giving our brains a
similar work-out too, tight? I mean, what good are we parading around like Gods
and Goddesses if we can’t even spell out names correctly?
So, to force the machinery inside your skulls to get up to
speed, we have a unique tournament format that will test not only your on-court
squash competency, but your aptitude dexterity as well. I for one spend time on
weekends on my daughter’s i-Pad practicing my thinking processes by figuring
out how to maneuver Dave the Minion through the streets of Gru’s neighborhood
picking up bananas and not crashing into obstacles. It’s difficult, you know, I
can’t let my guard down for a second…
The squash portion of the event is the easiest. There will
be 2 teams. I will match you up with a player of similar ability and you play
one non-stop game for 20 minutes straight. That’s right, you are not allowed to
hop off court for a drink, rest, a towel-down, a chat, to send a text message, check
your facebook account, or play a game of “Despicable
Me” on your i-Pad. Your task is to simply accumulate as many points as
possible. If I cannot find an opponent of the same standard, I will give out a
handicap to even it up.
Once all the squash is completed, each team will then sit
down together to answer a quiz that I have expertly put together. The quiz is
in 3 parts: DAC knowledge; Squash knowledge (international); and basic general
knowledge. Each correct answer in the quiz will be worth a certain amount of
points.
Then, adding together the squash and quiz totals, we should
be able to determine the winning team. Keep in mind that the highest squash
point total will be discarded in order to even it out in case of any blow-outs.
