Blitz Tournament –
Friday October 10
What’s with all push for fitness, huh? Run further, jump
higher, lift heavier… Whatever happened to cutting corners? Taking the easy way
out. Why drag something out when you can end it straight away and then move on?
Of course, that attitude would completely contradict every philosophy about
squash, but don’t let that stop us as we rush you through the first Blitz Tournament of the season!
I think Usain Bolt has it right. All this guy does is run
for less than 10 seconds, and he’s hailed as a God, adored by the world and has
enough money to buy whatever he wants. It’s not as if he’s doing anything
special – just about anyone can run for 10 seconds. Since we are in the realm
of absurdity here, I read somewhere that Bolt receives around $250,000 per
meet, which if you calculate the 9.8 seconds he runs his race, makes him earn
$91,000,000 per hour! It got me thinking what other sporting events take only a
split second of time to complete, but nothing I found comes even close to
Bolt’s figures.
Which brings us to Blitz Squash. Matches in this event have
known to last less than 60 seconds. Mind you, we’ve also had games lasting
longer than 10 minutes, so you definitely may need to work hard anyway. You’ll
get (approx) 4 matches minimum, each match being one game to 15 points.
Handicaps will be assigned and in some cases it is not unusual for one to walk
on court with a 13 point lead. (It is also not unusual for such match-ups to
last only 2 rallies as the chasing player clobbers 2 tins in quick succession!)
For a lucky few that survive the group stage, there will be a knock-out draw to
determine the top 3 place getters.
As is customary for such events at the DAC, we will wheel
the keg out. Now, don’t get tricked into thinking that your consumption prowess
needs to match the theme of the tournament. No extra points will be awarded for
downing your beverage in record time, it may, however, impress any witnesses. Or
disgust them.
Don’t be shy – players of all levels are invited to
participate. Experience new opponents and meet new people. These events are
built on the social side. We need a minimum 16 players to run it; you do need
to be a Blackballer to play. Registration deadline is Wednesday, October 8.
Your hourly rate for this event? Zero. But we give you beer. And a good social
time.
