Holiday Tournament -
Friday, Dec 4
‘Twas
three weeks before Christmas, and all through the courts
Were
a bunch of keen squash players, squeezing into their shorts
With
some wobbly looking stretches from their necks to their legs
You
can’t tell if their prep is for the squash or the keg!
For
the twelfth year running, the Holiday Tournament is here
The
first Friday of December, it always reappears
A
‘Swiss System’ the format, four matches guaranteed
All
in one draw, no handicapping or seeds.
Three
games to seven, will be each match you play
It
doesn’t sound like much but by the end of the day
Your
body will ache and will want a strong lift
So
we make sure you depart with a worthy enough gift!
To
enter this tournament there is a compulsory charge
But
don’t worry too much it isn’t very large
A
gift that is wrapped worth at least twenty bucks
And
below a few rules so that gift doesn’t suck:
Cash
is a big no-no, you can be more inspired
Just
imagine a gift that you would also desire
Potpourri
is out, it would receive a reaction
Of
horror and disgust, pure dissatisfaction.
And
for obvious reasons, any drug must be barred
Since
one year we had Viagra, (that decision isn’t hard!)
Canary
yellow t-shirts, it’s a fashion monstrosity
And
muffins half-eaten... well that’s just an atrocity!
One
more thing to remember, when you sign up to compete
Do
not ask your squash pro - that is simply a cheat -
An
hour before start, to put together a lot
Of
stuff from my office because you simply forgot.
The
deadline to enter if you are playing for sure
Is
December the second, we can take only twenty-four
It’s
a wonderful time, and we encourage the keen
To
come dressed up in the spirit, don your red and green!
