HOWE THE BLITZ WAS WON

Blitz Tournament - March 25, 2022 

A rally here, a point there... a mis-hit… a lucky framer… an easy unforced error… a fortunate bounce… an unfortunate bounce… a beer too many… a beer too few…? Just a handful of many factors that could / would change the outlook of a Blitz Tournament. An event where - by design - matches very often come done to the last couple of rallies, the desired scenario of that all-encompassing and exciting “sudden-death” rally!

Desperation often takes over. As does panic… and nerves… the overthinking… in some cases, the underthinking… the what-ifs… the “Oh-no’s!” … peer pressure… the nefariousness of these handicaps (as is typical, the first complaint of the handicap came even before the first ball was struck!) … the call of the keg begging to be consumed (“Paaa-uuul… driiiiink me…!!”) It is interesting the added stresses when a player is starting off a game either (up to) 13 points in the rears, or even that far ahead. Mind games. It’s borderline cruel. (“Muwahahaha!!”)

With 20 players, they were split into 4 groups of 5 players each. In the first group, it paid off to be fashionably late. Both Iain Prendergast and Schuyler Hamill made their entrance well past the start time and had to make up matches quickly. Iain took it all in stride, he lets his squash racquet do all the talking. A recent welcome addition to the DAC squash family, Iain is one of our top players and it appears there isn’t much that ruffles his feathers. As cool as the other side of the pillow, he systematically chopped through just about all 4 of his opponents. He lost only 2 rallies in three of the matches, but strangely stumbled against Schuyler losing 15-8 - Schuyler started with 11. Not that it made a difference to the results - both Schuyler and Iain advanced to the knock-out rounds anyway.

Group 2 was a toss up. Seven of the 10 matches were either 15-14 or 15-13. Every player in this group experienced at least one sudden-death point and won at least one match. This is where if we had just one different outcome in one of those matches, the winner of this tournament could have been someone else.  The two players that advanced int this group - Tom Howe and Alex Parker  - both won 2 matches 15-14. Alex actually ended up undefeated, not something I was expecting. It has been a while since I have seen him play, he has improved - where he picked up his backhand-volley-straight-drop half an inch above the tin and kissing the wall is a mystery! He needs to teach me.

Group 3 was also a competitive bunch. Once again, every player picked up at least one win. There were only 2 matches that ended up 15-14. Robbie Biskup picked up three wins and in doing so managed to blow out one of his squash shoes. Luckily for Robbie, we had some shoes in the pro shop that fit him - a rarity these days since the hardest item to find in the squash world are shoes - so Robbie was able to continue into the knock-out rounds without having to run around in socks. Mike Parker also advanced with three wins as well, his one loss was to rookie Brian Weitzel 15-13. Special mention to DJ Boyd in this group. He has been struggling to get on court over the past year or so with a persistent knee injury. It was great to see him back on court and getting involved again!

Group 4. Clear winner here - Henry Gembis. He went 4 for 4 in his matches, and is turning out to be a little thorn in my handicapping side. Once again, Henry refuses to acknowledge or respect the handicaps that I apply and swats them away with a subtle look of disdain - just like the look I get when my wife tells me we are having couscous for dinner. There were four matches that suffered through a sudden-death rally, Mike Jenkins won 2 of them, Viveka Mishra and Henry the other two. Jon Diewald lost two of them, and of course had he won them, he may have been in the finals. As it turned out, three players ended up with 2 wins and we were forced to rely on pure chance to see who would advance… the dreaded drawing of the straws! A 33% chance, Mike was very gentlemanly to allow Viveka to draw first. Not that it helped her. Whammy. Mike drew next and struck gold. His delight was short lived however - he had to play Iain in the first round of the finals.

Making up the handicaps now as we go along, the knock-out finals does turn out to be a drain on the fitness. Even though it’s just 1 game per match, once we stretch out into the 5th game and beyond, the legs and lungs start to protest. Naturally, the one (or two.. or let’s be honest 3+) beers that have been consumed by now aren’t exactly helping.

Henry Gembis once again didn’t care two hoots about the 8 points I gave him against Robbie Biskup, nor that Robbie had to break in his new pair of Stellar ‘Redback’ Squash Shoes (cool name). Thanks for coming, 15-9, is that all you have? He was taunting me.

Next in line for Henry was Schuyler Hamill. Schuyler, with a 9 point head start, did very well to eliminate the dark horse Alex Parker 15-11 in his quarter final. I had both players starting at scratch for this one. I figure that Henry cannot possibly make a mockery of a handicap that isn’t even there, right? Wrong. He’s an evil genius! Henry scored the 15-10 win and advanced to the final.

Henry Gembis and Tom Howe

The other side of the finals draw had Iain Prendergast take out Mike Jenkins 15-11 in the quarter final where he then met up with Tom Howe. Tom, for his part, squeaked past Mike Parker 15-13, a tough win in reality since Mike started with 10 and picked up a quick couple of points early on to really ramp up the pressure. Iain and Tom put on some great squash for the crowd. Tom’s seven point head start did turn out to be too big a hurdle to climb for Iain, he did close the gap by a couple of points but he needed the game to stretch a further than 15 if he was eventually going to catch up. Tom 15-10.

An exciting final. Henry v Tom. I gave Henry 9 points handicap wishing - praying - imploring - in fact genuflecting - for a close result. “Don’t make me look bad, don’t make me look bad…” Phew. I was saved. It did end up coming down to the last few rallies. Tom was catching up quickly, but the occasional point to Henry kept the pressure on just enough to cause significant tension. All the way to 13-all. Henry almost caused the upset, but Tom was simply too steady in the end. 15-13. Tom Howe takes his first Blitz Tournament title - winning 6 of 7 games, 2 of them 15-14, 3 of them 15-13. Henry for his part gets to the podium for the first time as well. Iain ended up winning the 3rd / 4th play-off. It was terrific to see many new faces to the event - let’s hope that trend continues!

BOASTERS BOSS IS FOSS NATION

 

Boasters League finals~~ 

Can you believe it? It’s the end of the league season! 21 weeks of battling it out, and it all comes down to one evening in March. Well, actually, that ‘one’ evening turned into an entire week as most of the matches were rearranged, spread out over 7 days. Only 6 of the 16 matches were played on the scheduled day which was somewhat disappointing since it does take away from the atmosphere that could have been.

Only three subs were needed overall which is not too bad, and each team collected 10 bonus points, which although for the final is very low, makes sure that the overall winner is determined on the squash court rather than who simply rocked up.

The first result came in on Monday. Evan Moore kicked off the Foss Nation campaign with a 2-1 win over Haytham Hermiz. Both Evan and Haytham are scramblers, I can only imagine the amount of running that was achieved in these three games. Evan has only been recording results since end of May last year, and this was his first match against Haytham.

Next in line was Tony Sorgi (Foss Nation) and Andrew Miller (Winky-Dinks) This would be their third meeting with so far one win each. Tony has been on quite the streak lately, winning 10 of his past 11 matches – a lot to do with his consistent lessons with Stu I’m sure – and he kept his streak alive here with a 3-0 victory. We were 2 matches in, and Foss Nation had already opened up a 4 point lead – a buffer that isn’t all that comfortable but would turn out to be consistent.

Two more off-setting scores were entered before Wednesday with each team taking a 3-0 win, allowing Foss Nation to preserve their margin. That lead fluctuated through the official league evening. A couple more 3-0 wins increased the lead to 9 at one point but Winky-Dinks did edge themselves back into contention with Will Owen picking up all of his 3 games against JB Peabody (an opponent he lost 1-2 to in December) and Matt Paradiso taking 2 of 3 games from JC Tibbitts who was subbing for the injured Dane Fossee. By the time Thursday morning rolled around, with 6 matches to play, Foss Nation was still 4 points ahead.

On Thursday, Nick Petcoff (Foss Nation) further helped out his team with a 2-1 victory over Landon Lefler. Nick has also been on quite the run, now winning 9 of his past 10 matches. It was now getting tight for Winky-Dinks. Five points to make up, five matches to play.

A little salvation though for the Winky-Dinks! Bert Donovan closed the gap taking all three games from Jonas Rodger who was kind enough to be subbing for the injured Robert Welch. It was now a 2 point difference and suddenly a very uncomfortable lead for Foss Nation. However, that 3-0 was immediately countered. Iain Prendergast has only lost one match since joining the league in January and he wasn’t about to change that stat on this occasion. His 3-0 win reinstated the 5 point lead once again, but now there was only 3 matches left.

It was possible now for Foss Nation to lock in the win with one more positive result. Standing in their way was Winky-Dink Sandy Selinger having to take on a tough opponent in Shail Arora. These two had played twice before in boasters league, both taking a 2-1 win. The first game was all Sandy – he rolled it 15-5. It was the wake-up call Shail apparently needed and with renewed focus he steadied himself, found his line and length and managed to take the next 2 games. And with that, Foss Nation had achieved their first Boasters League title! With 2 matches to go, they now had a 6 point lead. But even if Winky-Dinks were to win those 2 matches 3-0 and even up the points, the tie break would fall to the team with the most bonus points – which as mentioned above is also tied – so the second tie-break would be the team with the most wins on the day and Foss Nation already had nine of the 16 – an unassailable advantage.

The final two matches were completed over the weekend and Foss Nation cemented the win with Joe Schmidt picking up his team’s 10^th win. The final score: 37-31! Congratulations!

For the record, I picked Winky-Dinks to win last week. Clearly, my predictions are turning into the “kiss of death” but of course that won’t deter me from continuing to do it! I will try to learn from my misdeeds and improve my divination techniques next season… maybe go into witchcraft… or voodoo… black magic…? Can’t be any worse I guess!

WINKY-DINKS IN CHARGE

 Boasters League semifinals~~

The business end of the season. All the work during the season comes down to just a couple of matches in March. Of course, there is the added pressure – whether the players realize it or not – of my foretelling which tends to spray undetectable pixie dust randomly into the atmosphere and seems to demonstrate week after week that I’m utterly dysfunctional at it. This time, I got one right and one very, very, wrong.

We had six subs this week. For the league finals, this actually causes me the most stress. While they are unavoidable, finding the just the right level of sub is not easy. So far, the subs have a pretty good winning record if you count the quarterfinals as well, which depending on who they are subbing for isn’t a negative thing. But every now and then, I get it wrong. I’d like to apologize to Bert Donovan (Winky-Dinks) since the sub I arranged to play against him was a lot stronger than the player he was replacing. Definitely an oversight on my part, a momentary episode of carelessness…

Winky-Dinks v Vivio’s

True to form, the top teams always seem to accumulate bonus points. Winky-Dinks almost swept the table on Wednesday collecting 15 of 16, four more than Vivio’s, which is significant. First match of the evening we saw Henry Gembis (Vivio’s) and Will Owen (Winky-Dinks). Henry got off to a textbook start, building an early and considerable lead in the first game. It took Will a little time to find his feet and although he crawled back to even the score later on, it was tough to keep that run going and Henry managed to finish him off. However, Will had gained some confidence and took control for the rest of the contest. A 2-1 win for Winky-Dinks, and the catalyst for the rest of their team.

The wins kept coming. Sandy Selinger, Matt Paradiso, Vikram Chopra, Colin Casey…  none of these were upsets, but were extending the lead at a steady pace – and keeping in mind the bonus point advantage – Vivio’s task was becoming more daunting with every passing match. A little success for Vivio’s came after Alex Parker took a 2-1 win over Matt Wilson and then Brian Schrage also picked up a 2-1 victory over Glen Milligan, but Vivio’s couldn’t afford to lose any games at all, and this was slipping out of reach rapidly.  

Winky-Dinks captain Justin Winkelman was the final result to come that evening and his 3-0 win sealed the deal. It’s not often the result is settled with 4 results still to play (three of them were still completed on Thursday), Vivio’s was toast. It was an unassailable lead, even if Vivio’s would have managed to win all of those matches 3-0.

The final score: 42-29. Of course, last week I picked Vivio’s to win. Couldn’t have been more incorrect. Par for the course I guess.

Mongoose v Foss Nation

Down to the last match – again! Mongoose captain Paul Huth was on the prowl making sure his players – on pain of death - were turning up for their bonus points. They collected 3 more than Foss Nation, and those extra 3 points kept Mongoose in the hunt all the way. As close as the scores stayed between the teams, only 6 of the 16 matches were played on the Wednesday – 9 of them were completed early. There were eight 2-1 results and surprisingly, Foss Nation won 7 of them. The most notably was captain Dane Fossee who took down one of his Achilles heels in Greg Allare 2-1. Talk about winning when it counts. It was Dane’s first official recorded win over Greg… ever.

Mongoose did record one more 3-0 win than Foss Nation though, which was noteworthy considering they had only won 5 matches overall. With the bonus point advantage, at the end of play Wednesday, the scores were tied 33 apiece. It was coming down to the final match which was to be played at 6.45am on Friday: Mack Gembis (Mongoose) v Iain Prendergast (Foss Nation). No pressure fellas!

Iain is new to the DAC – he came on board this year – so he doesn’t have a lot of match history to go by. He and Mack have one result – with Iain taking a 2-1 win back in January. So this could go either way. My presumption was that the match was nothing short of legendary, a match where both players equally deserved to be the winner, a match that we all wish we could have witnessed. It was also a match that Iain won 3-0 and with it, advanced his team to the final!

Foss Nation take the victory 36-33! Keep in mind I actually picked this one last week. I think the ‘blind squirrel’ tactic is more successful for me!

The final next week! Winky-Dinks v Foss Nation. These 2 teams met in the final round of the season. Only 8 matches were played, each team won 4 of them, Winky-Dinks picked up 4 more bonus points (no surprise there!), and therefore ruled the day 21-19. So it was close, but 8 matches not played is a lot. Unfazed by my completely woeful record of being a clairvoyant, I once again gaze into the stars with a look of reverence, pretend to know what I’m on about, and announce that the winner of this year’s Boasters League will be… Winky-Dinks!

FOSS NATION DOMINATION

Boasters League quarter finals~~

Activity a plenty! The buzz of league finals makes it one of the more enjoyable evenings of the season. It never ceases to amaze me how everyone (most!) players are suddenly available to play on Wednesday, whereas during the regular season, it’s feels like pulling teeth to arrange the matches. I guess it is something to discuss with the captains over the summer: how to encourage regular participation from October onwards, not just March onwards.

Good news is that the quarter finals were decided on the court. Meaning, that most of the matches were completed. We aren’t left wondering about different outcomes (the could-haves!) because half a dozen contests didn’t manage to play. My crystal ball prophecies from last week once again prove that I have utterly no idea about such witchcraft. If I forecast that the sun would rise tomorrow morning – it wouldn’t. So I won’t.

Foss Nation v Butter Nutz

The first result to come in was 14-15; 15-12; 15-14. Brian Rassel (Foss Nation) squeaked past Ryan Covell (Butter Nutz) in what clearly was an epic encounter, worthy of a separate paragraph, photos and interviews, but since no one witnessed this blockbuster, we can only imagine the level to which these two performed. It also set the tone for this quarter final – Foss Nation never looked back.

The rout was on early. Greg Jones, Spencer Roed, Joe Schmidt and Iain Prendergast all recorded 3-0 wins and the only scoring that Butter Nutz could manage at this stage was their bonus points. However, no amount of bonus points were going to make up for this large deficit- they desperately needed some wins.

Mike Jenkins was the first winner of the night for the Butter Nutz. After losing game one to Shail Arora, he steadied the ship to roll out the next two. Scott Beals also took two of three games from John Roarty, and follow that up with another 2-1 win for John Perkins, the outlook was improving, but too slowly. Butter Nutz needed 3-0 victories. And fast.

Jack Bernard heard the frantic calls and stepped up to record the first straight sets victory for their team to give them just a glimmer of hope, They were mathematically still in it but the margin of error was decreasing with each passing match. And the glimmer of hope faded shortly thereafter.

Foss Nation’s Matt Buslepp was having none of it. Determined to stop any more talk or thought of a comeback, he took down Gordie Maitland 3-0. Tony Sorgi then picked up a game from Matt Moore, followed up by Matt’s identical clone Evan, who dampened the hefty cries of “Boo-Yah!” from Dewey Steffen with his 3-0 takedown, and suddenly Foss Nation could start thinking about next week. It was over.

A dominating performance, Foss Nation are looking like a tough opponent. Overall score: 43-29. My prediction last week: “Foss Nation by a hair.” I was right about the winner here, but waaay wrong about the hair! 

Vivio’s v Cadiuex Café

Motivated by my audacious announcement last week that Cadieux Café would be struggling to compete against Vivio’s, Patrick Petz inspired his team to greater heights. Determined to make me look like a babbling ignoramus (not that difficult apparently!), Cadieux Café gave Vivio’s everything they could handle. From start to finish, there was never more than a 3 point margin between the two teams, and the lead changed numerous times over the course of the evening.

Subs would play a part in these results. We needed five, found four, and three of them won. We had one forfeit for each team as well. Surprisingly, Vivio’s only managed 8 bonus points, which for a final is worryingly low. Cadieux Café picked up 11. Would it be the difference? It certainly helped to keep it close. 

The two teams traded wins all week long. A Mark Gregory (Cadieux Café) 2-1 win would be quickly countered with a Rich Stimson (Vivio’s) 2-1 win as well. And back and forth it went. Only 6 of the matches were played on Wednesday – eight of them were re-arranged (2 were not played), so by the time Thursday morning rolled around, no one really had any clue where the teams stood! We would have to wait until Friday morning to find out the final victor here. And it would come down to the number 2’s: Blake Ellis (Cadieux Café) v Derek Aguirre (Vivio’s).

Every match is important of course, but the fact that this one will make or break the season, the pressure was on, the focus intense. In round 6, Derek beat Blake 3-0. In fact, Derek has a solid record against Blake winning ten of their recorded twelve matches. But they haven’t played a lot in recent times. Outside of round 6, the last result was in February of 2020 and, notably, Blake actually won that encounter. Could he go against the trend again? Ummm, no, he could not. Derek seems to be in form and did not concede a game – a good move for his team because if he had done so, Vivio’s would have lost the day. I know there will be some mutterings and mumblings about this overall result: Vivio’s 32 - Cadieux Café – 31. I did predict a Vivio’s win here, but not one that came down to the wire. I got my ‘hairs’ crossed last week!

Onto the semifinals! First we have Foss Nation v Mongoose. Their round 4 meeting was close – 28-26 in favor of Mongoose. Twelve of the 16 matches were completed, Mongoose won 7 of them, only four of those were 3-0, and both teams picked up the same amount of bonus points. So it should be tight again, right? Well, one would think that from last week’s pathetic attempt of being a soothsayer, I would pack up my tea leaves and exit the building, but obviously I don’t learn from my own nitwittedness so here goes… the winner will be… and the team I therefore condemn …Foss Nation!

The other semifinal is Winky-Dinks v Vivio’s. They met way back in round 2, and Vivio’s pulled out the win 32-29. All but one match was played, only 4 of those results were 3-0, Vivio’s won 9 of the 15 matches both teams picked up the same amount of bonus points. Another anyone-can-win scenario it seems. In the spirit of keeping up with my shameless divinations, my tarot cards for this contest are telling me… to stop trying to predict results… not to complain about the broccoli in my dinner tonight… and that Vivio’s will be in the final!

NEVER IN DOUBT FOR MONGOOSE

Boasters League final round~~

During the entire second half of the season, for some reason it appeared to be a struggle to get the boosters matches played. And I found that strange because overall court usage has been particularly healthy. So people are playing… but just not their league matches? In either case, the last couple of weeks were an improvement on the first 7, however as you will see below, the stats are still somewhat unsightly.

The fact that Mongoose ended up on top should not be a surprise to anyone – comparatively speaking to other seasons, their stats aren’t off the charts by any means, they are simply better than the rest of the teams. Conversely, Nicker Ballers position shouldn’t be a shock either. The top six teams that are advancing to the play-offs were pretty much set weeks ago.

Biggest push of the last round came from Winky-Dinks with 47 points which was an important effort as they were chasing down Vivio’s for the coveted second spot on the standings. Their endeavors paid off as they overtook Rich Stimson’s team in the last few hours to grab that spot and be rewarded with a first-round pass in the finals.

Here are the stats for the half. They aren’t pretty…

·         Overall, 60% of matches were completed. Yeah, that’s very low. Up until the start of round 9, we were sitting under 50%. We had 72.5% of matches in the first half.

·         Mongoose won the half with 217 points. In 2019 second half (the last pre-Covid season) that would have been good enough for only 4^th. For the first half this season – 6^th.

·         Mongoose not only played the most amount of matches (66%), they also has the most bonus points by a wide margin – 79. The next best? Winky-Dinks with 63.

·         Two other teams also played 66% of their matches: Winky-Dinks and Butter Nutz.

·         Overall, 60% of the results were 2-1. This is my favorite stat – shows the competitiveness

·         Least amount of matches goes to Nicker Ballers with 50%.

·         Nicker Ballers also had the least amount of bonus points – by far. Only 29. The most players that turned up for them in any given week was 5. If they picked up as many bonus points as Mongoose, they would be in the play-offs.

·         Only 4 players picked up all 8 bonus points. And an amazing 14 players didn’t pick up any.

·         Vivio’s had the best winning percentage with 64%. Wardogs the lowest with 29%.

·         Winky-Dinks won the most 3-0 matches with 20.

·         Only 8 players played all 8 matches. None of the 8 went undefeated. (We had 27 players in the first half that played all 8 matches.)

·         Matt Paradiso (Winky-Dinks) picked up the most number of points for the half with 25.

·         Most points picked up in any one round is 39 by Vivio’s in round 3. Least amount of points was 10 – achieved by Nicker Ballers in round 1 (!).

·         All 16 matches in one round were not completed once. 15 matches were completed just once.

·         Most matches completed in any one round was 79.7% in round 2. Very low.

The quarter finals are upon us! The matches should be an interesting affair:

Vivio’s v Cadieux Café. Nothing like matching up Captains Rich Stimson and Patrick Petz for some friendly trash-talking! These 2 teams met in round 6 – one day before the start of the DAC Classic. Only 8 matches were completed, so it’s difficult to tell from only 50% of the results who the favorite should be here, but on that day, Vivio’s ruled the roost with a comprehensive 25 to 13 win. In fact, Vivio’s won 7 of those 8 matches. I guess it’s not too much of a stretch to predict that Cadieux Café will be in for a tough week.

The other quarter final we see Foss Nation tackling Butter Nutz. Their round 5 meeting was a lot closer: 24-23 to Butter Nutz. They played 13 of those matches and although Foss Nation won 8 of them, they strangely still lost. Bonus points were scarce that day as it was the evening of a big snow storm that kept all sane people at home. This one is a complete toss-up. But, as always, I’ll chuck some pressure on somebody here anyway and forecast a victory by a hair for… Foss Nation. (I’ve probably just doomed their chances!)