Wednesday, December 30, 2015


The “Mickies” Awards for 2015

What a year! The DAC squash program saw a couple of major improvements this year, none better than the addition of our new assistant squash pro, Corey Kabot. Corey has been invaluable implementing a junior squash program and providing much needed reinforcement with lessons and administrative assistance. He has helped me in many ways: my office has never been so dust free, my coffee has never been hotter, and my car never cleaner.

We also renovated the court area over the summer in order to encourage you all to hang out longer and consume more beverages… like that needed any help! The upward squash usage trend continued and by the way we are going, peak time may expand into midnights. Since we enjoy patting ourselves on the back so much for a job fantastically done, the annual “Mickies” Awards are another way to blow wind up our own egos and applaud the sorry souls who made the 2015 cut!

The “Bond… James Bond” Award goes to… John Mann!

Suave. Sophistication. Martinis shaken but not stirred. All qualities of the debonair secret agent that John Mann clearly has no trace of. It’s also excellent proof of why John does not work as a model. Nor would you be the first, if after seeing the photo, you initially thought of a James Bond villain instead such as Jaws… or Oddjob. Rumor has it actually, that he was having a lot of difficulty navigating the stairs this one fine evening and needed a rest half way up. After all, no one ever accused John of being too fit. One must admire his court hustle when the going gets tough, however, he does pick it up on the “frenzy-meter” and suddenly one recognizes the ‘shaken’ and ‘stirred’ come to light!

The “Yabba-Dabba-Doo!” Award goes to… Kevin Prather!

Will the real Fred Flintstone step forward? Almost identical twins, Kevin is actually the one holding the drink… and being married to Wilma, who can blame him? John Goodman is the ugly one. An appropriate costume for Kevin, whose forehand overhead volley is equivalent of a caveman wielding a massive club and clobbering a dinosaur in the head. It’s the one shot you never want to be in the way of, unless of course that shot comes in a small glass and is being served off the court at the bar. We are praying, though, that Kevin does not adopt the loin cloth as a new squash outfit.

The “Larry-the-Lounge-Lizard” Award goes to… Matt DiDio

Once again, Matt picks up another award! It’s becoming an annual tradition. Who would have thought that murky-fetid-water-brown would be his color of choice? But when you linger in the shadowy recesses of seedy bars throwing out cheesy one-liners to the miserable female characters that have lost all hope in life, who cares how horrible one’s suit is? The fact that an Angry ‘Bird’ is standing next to him is no coincidence. Any bird who would be degrade themselves to such levels can’t be happy. Manny Tancer, however, still manages a smile for the camera, but probably had to rush off afterwards for a cold shower! Can’t wait to see what is in store for us next Halloween!

Friday, December 18, 2015


DAC Squash Classic Feb 11-14, 2016

Time to prepare. Prepare for squash. Squash over four days. Four days of the grandest, most splendiferous, incomparable tournament you will ever experience. Have I convinced you to enter? There is no doubt that we will reach the capacity of 145 registrations very, very quickly based on the countless e-mails I have received of people trying to enter early. So, that being said your best bet is to enter immediately.

And, if you do not get in, place yourself on the waitlist. Obviously there is no guarantee that you will get a spot in the draw, but it certainly would help your chances. Also, if you are from out of town, being able to play on the Thursday night would help your cause even more.

The DAC Classic format remains the same. If it aint broke, no need to fix it. So, you are still allowed to enter 2 categories, but you do so at your own risk. And, if you do, the expectation is that you play ALL of your matches. That includes consolation if applicable, and if you are scheduled for 8am in the morning. We had way too many forfeits last year - every single one was a consolation match. Forfeits that would not have happened were they main draw. It is not fair to your opponent who wants to play. Also, time between your matches may be minimal (or even non-existent) and you may find yourself playing back-to-back.

With so many players, and so many in 2 categories, and with only 4 singles courts and 1 doubles, the scheduling of matches is the most time consuming, difficult task of organizing this event. That being said, take note below of the times that you must make yourself available to play. Keep the weekend open for the tournament. Once the schedule has been released, match times WILL NOT be changed. If you have a conflict on your calendar, that is your own fault. Also, I had so many people last year requesting special times that it literally became impossible to make it all fit. Do not ask for a ‘favorable’ time, it will not be taken into consideration.

For players in the Detroit area – including Ann Arbor, Toledo, and Windsor:

              Thursday, February 11 between 4pm and 11pm
              Friday, February 12 between 3pm and 11.30pm
              Saturday, February13 between 8am and 8pm
              Sunday, February 14 between 8am and 4pm 

For all other players:

              Friday, February 12 between 3pm and 11.30pm
              Saturday, February 13 between 8am and 8pm
              Sunday, February 14 between 8am and 4pm

When entering your correct category(s), below are the details of what will be allowed for the singles and doubles. Understand that I reserve the right to change the category your have entered if I deem it appropriate.
              Maximum 32 players in any on singles category
              Maximum 16 teams in any one doubles category
              Minimum 2 matches per singles draw
              Minimum 1 match per doubles draw
              Walkovers / forfeits count a match
              Maximum 145 entries for the entire tournament.
              Minimum age to enter the tournament is 13
              All singles matches are PAR to 11 scoring
              All doubles matches are 5 games to 15 - no tie break.
              A ‘B’ player partnered up with a ‘C’ player will be entered in the B draw.
              An ‘A’ player partnered up with a ‘B’ player will be placed in the A draw.
              An ‘A’ player partnered up with a ‘C’ player will be placed in the B draw.
              Any player entering the ‘A’ doubles is NOT permitted to play the ‘C’ doubles regardless of partner. In layman’s terms – no sandbagging.

A couple more items to take note of. For 11 years now, the DAC Classic does NOT use referees for any match. As strange as that sounds, it has been a system that has worked remarkably well and we have had extraordinarily few incidents during that time. It is expected that all players conduct themselves in the best sportsmanship and be fair, honest and respectful with your opponents and your ‘let’ calls. Sometimes, however, a referee is simply required and if you are asked to step in to help, please do so.

Secondly, be on time for your matches. Sounds like a no brainer but since we max out the courts for the 4 days, being late for your match will push the tournament late. And no one wants that.

Sponsorships. The DAC Classic owes it continued success to our corporate sponsors listed below. Please take the time to thank them over the weekend for their support, it is the reason we can run the tournament like we do.

               Skidmore Inc – Patrick Petz
•              Smith Barney – Sean Moran
•              E-Motion Studios – Anil Kathuria
•              Corbet, Shaw, Essad, Tucciarone, Bonasso – Bruce Shaw
•              SVS Vision – Ken Stann
•              Metropolitan Baking – George Kordas
•              AARO Companies – Tom Fabbri
•              Adlhoch and Associates – Scott Adlhoch
               Campanelli and Pear – Joey Gaylord 

The official registration deadline is January 29, but I’m 99% sure we will be full well before then. It’s time...

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