BOASTERS BOSS IS FOSS NATION

 

Boasters League finals~~ 

Can you believe it? It’s the end of the league season! 21 weeks of battling it out, and it all comes down to one evening in March. Well, actually, that ‘one’ evening turned into an entire week as most of the matches were rearranged, spread out over 7 days. Only 6 of the 16 matches were played on the scheduled day which was somewhat disappointing since it does take away from the atmosphere that could have been.

Only three subs were needed overall which is not too bad, and each team collected 10 bonus points, which although for the final is very low, makes sure that the overall winner is determined on the squash court rather than who simply rocked up.

The first result came in on Monday. Evan Moore kicked off the Foss Nation campaign with a 2-1 win over Haytham Hermiz. Both Evan and Haytham are scramblers, I can only imagine the amount of running that was achieved in these three games. Evan has only been recording results since end of May last year, and this was his first match against Haytham.

Next in line was Tony Sorgi (Foss Nation) and Andrew Miller (Winky-Dinks) This would be their third meeting with so far one win each. Tony has been on quite the streak lately, winning 10 of his past 11 matches – a lot to do with his consistent lessons with Stu I’m sure – and he kept his streak alive here with a 3-0 victory. We were 2 matches in, and Foss Nation had already opened up a 4 point lead – a buffer that isn’t all that comfortable but would turn out to be consistent.

Two more off-setting scores were entered before Wednesday with each team taking a 3-0 win, allowing Foss Nation to preserve their margin. That lead fluctuated through the official league evening. A couple more 3-0 wins increased the lead to 9 at one point but Winky-Dinks did edge themselves back into contention with Will Owen picking up all of his 3 games against JB Peabody (an opponent he lost 1-2 to in December) and Matt Paradiso taking 2 of 3 games from JC Tibbitts who was subbing for the injured Dane Fossee. By the time Thursday morning rolled around, with 6 matches to play, Foss Nation was still 4 points ahead.

On Thursday, Nick Petcoff (Foss Nation) further helped out his team with a 2-1 victory over Landon Lefler. Nick has also been on quite the run, now winning 9 of his past 10 matches. It was now getting tight for Winky-Dinks. Five points to make up, five matches to play.

A little salvation though for the Winky-Dinks! Bert Donovan closed the gap taking all three games from Jonas Rodger who was kind enough to be subbing for the injured Robert Welch. It was now a 2 point difference and suddenly a very uncomfortable lead for Foss Nation. However, that 3-0 was immediately countered. Iain Prendergast has only lost one match since joining the league in January and he wasn’t about to change that stat on this occasion. His 3-0 win reinstated the 5 point lead once again, but now there was only 3 matches left.

It was possible now for Foss Nation to lock in the win with one more positive result. Standing in their way was Winky-Dink Sandy Selinger having to take on a tough opponent in Shail Arora. These two had played twice before in boasters league, both taking a 2-1 win. The first game was all Sandy – he rolled it 15-5. It was the wake-up call Shail apparently needed and with renewed focus he steadied himself, found his line and length and managed to take the next 2 games. And with that, Foss Nation had achieved their first Boasters League title! With 2 matches to go, they now had a 6 point lead. But even if Winky-Dinks were to win those 2 matches 3-0 and even up the points, the tie break would fall to the team with the most bonus points – which as mentioned above is also tied – so the second tie-break would be the team with the most wins on the day and Foss Nation already had nine of the 16 – an unassailable advantage.

The final two matches were completed over the weekend and Foss Nation cemented the win with Joe Schmidt picking up his team’s 10^th win. The final score: 37-31! Congratulations!

For the record, I picked Winky-Dinks to win last week. Clearly, my predictions are turning into the “kiss of death” but of course that won’t deter me from continuing to do it! I will try to learn from my misdeeds and improve my divination techniques next season… maybe go into witchcraft… or voodoo… black magic…? Can’t be any worse I guess!

WINKY-DINKS IN CHARGE

 Boasters League semifinals~~

The business end of the season. All the work during the season comes down to just a couple of matches in March. Of course, there is the added pressure – whether the players realize it or not – of my foretelling which tends to spray undetectable pixie dust randomly into the atmosphere and seems to demonstrate week after week that I’m utterly dysfunctional at it. This time, I got one right and one very, very, wrong.

We had six subs this week. For the league finals, this actually causes me the most stress. While they are unavoidable, finding the just the right level of sub is not easy. So far, the subs have a pretty good winning record if you count the quarterfinals as well, which depending on who they are subbing for isn’t a negative thing. But every now and then, I get it wrong. I’d like to apologize to Bert Donovan (Winky-Dinks) since the sub I arranged to play against him was a lot stronger than the player he was replacing. Definitely an oversight on my part, a momentary episode of carelessness…

Winky-Dinks v Vivio’s

True to form, the top teams always seem to accumulate bonus points. Winky-Dinks almost swept the table on Wednesday collecting 15 of 16, four more than Vivio’s, which is significant. First match of the evening we saw Henry Gembis (Vivio’s) and Will Owen (Winky-Dinks). Henry got off to a textbook start, building an early and considerable lead in the first game. It took Will a little time to find his feet and although he crawled back to even the score later on, it was tough to keep that run going and Henry managed to finish him off. However, Will had gained some confidence and took control for the rest of the contest. A 2-1 win for Winky-Dinks, and the catalyst for the rest of their team.

The wins kept coming. Sandy Selinger, Matt Paradiso, Vikram Chopra, Colin Casey…  none of these were upsets, but were extending the lead at a steady pace – and keeping in mind the bonus point advantage – Vivio’s task was becoming more daunting with every passing match. A little success for Vivio’s came after Alex Parker took a 2-1 win over Matt Wilson and then Brian Schrage also picked up a 2-1 victory over Glen Milligan, but Vivio’s couldn’t afford to lose any games at all, and this was slipping out of reach rapidly.  

Winky-Dinks captain Justin Winkelman was the final result to come that evening and his 3-0 win sealed the deal. It’s not often the result is settled with 4 results still to play (three of them were still completed on Thursday), Vivio’s was toast. It was an unassailable lead, even if Vivio’s would have managed to win all of those matches 3-0.

The final score: 42-29. Of course, last week I picked Vivio’s to win. Couldn’t have been more incorrect. Par for the course I guess.

Mongoose v Foss Nation

Down to the last match – again! Mongoose captain Paul Huth was on the prowl making sure his players – on pain of death - were turning up for their bonus points. They collected 3 more than Foss Nation, and those extra 3 points kept Mongoose in the hunt all the way. As close as the scores stayed between the teams, only 6 of the 16 matches were played on the Wednesday – 9 of them were completed early. There were eight 2-1 results and surprisingly, Foss Nation won 7 of them. The most notably was captain Dane Fossee who took down one of his Achilles heels in Greg Allare 2-1. Talk about winning when it counts. It was Dane’s first official recorded win over Greg… ever.

Mongoose did record one more 3-0 win than Foss Nation though, which was noteworthy considering they had only won 5 matches overall. With the bonus point advantage, at the end of play Wednesday, the scores were tied 33 apiece. It was coming down to the final match which was to be played at 6.45am on Friday: Mack Gembis (Mongoose) v Iain Prendergast (Foss Nation). No pressure fellas!

Iain is new to the DAC – he came on board this year – so he doesn’t have a lot of match history to go by. He and Mack have one result – with Iain taking a 2-1 win back in January. So this could go either way. My presumption was that the match was nothing short of legendary, a match where both players equally deserved to be the winner, a match that we all wish we could have witnessed. It was also a match that Iain won 3-0 and with it, advanced his team to the final!

Foss Nation take the victory 36-33! Keep in mind I actually picked this one last week. I think the ‘blind squirrel’ tactic is more successful for me!

The final next week! Winky-Dinks v Foss Nation. These 2 teams met in the final round of the season. Only 8 matches were played, each team won 4 of them, Winky-Dinks picked up 4 more bonus points (no surprise there!), and therefore ruled the day 21-19. So it was close, but 8 matches not played is a lot. Unfazed by my completely woeful record of being a clairvoyant, I once again gaze into the stars with a look of reverence, pretend to know what I’m on about, and announce that the winner of this year’s Boasters League will be… Winky-Dinks!

FOSS NATION DOMINATION

Boasters League quarter finals~~

Activity a plenty! The buzz of league finals makes it one of the more enjoyable evenings of the season. It never ceases to amaze me how everyone (most!) players are suddenly available to play on Wednesday, whereas during the regular season, it’s feels like pulling teeth to arrange the matches. I guess it is something to discuss with the captains over the summer: how to encourage regular participation from October onwards, not just March onwards.

Good news is that the quarter finals were decided on the court. Meaning, that most of the matches were completed. We aren’t left wondering about different outcomes (the could-haves!) because half a dozen contests didn’t manage to play. My crystal ball prophecies from last week once again prove that I have utterly no idea about such witchcraft. If I forecast that the sun would rise tomorrow morning – it wouldn’t. So I won’t.

Foss Nation v Butter Nutz

The first result to come in was 14-15; 15-12; 15-14. Brian Rassel (Foss Nation) squeaked past Ryan Covell (Butter Nutz) in what clearly was an epic encounter, worthy of a separate paragraph, photos and interviews, but since no one witnessed this blockbuster, we can only imagine the level to which these two performed. It also set the tone for this quarter final – Foss Nation never looked back.

The rout was on early. Greg Jones, Spencer Roed, Joe Schmidt and Iain Prendergast all recorded 3-0 wins and the only scoring that Butter Nutz could manage at this stage was their bonus points. However, no amount of bonus points were going to make up for this large deficit- they desperately needed some wins.

Mike Jenkins was the first winner of the night for the Butter Nutz. After losing game one to Shail Arora, he steadied the ship to roll out the next two. Scott Beals also took two of three games from John Roarty, and follow that up with another 2-1 win for John Perkins, the outlook was improving, but too slowly. Butter Nutz needed 3-0 victories. And fast.

Jack Bernard heard the frantic calls and stepped up to record the first straight sets victory for their team to give them just a glimmer of hope, They were mathematically still in it but the margin of error was decreasing with each passing match. And the glimmer of hope faded shortly thereafter.

Foss Nation’s Matt Buslepp was having none of it. Determined to stop any more talk or thought of a comeback, he took down Gordie Maitland 3-0. Tony Sorgi then picked up a game from Matt Moore, followed up by Matt’s identical clone Evan, who dampened the hefty cries of “Boo-Yah!” from Dewey Steffen with his 3-0 takedown, and suddenly Foss Nation could start thinking about next week. It was over.

A dominating performance, Foss Nation are looking like a tough opponent. Overall score: 43-29. My prediction last week: “Foss Nation by a hair.” I was right about the winner here, but waaay wrong about the hair! 

Vivio’s v Cadiuex Café

Motivated by my audacious announcement last week that Cadieux Café would be struggling to compete against Vivio’s, Patrick Petz inspired his team to greater heights. Determined to make me look like a babbling ignoramus (not that difficult apparently!), Cadieux Café gave Vivio’s everything they could handle. From start to finish, there was never more than a 3 point margin between the two teams, and the lead changed numerous times over the course of the evening.

Subs would play a part in these results. We needed five, found four, and three of them won. We had one forfeit for each team as well. Surprisingly, Vivio’s only managed 8 bonus points, which for a final is worryingly low. Cadieux Café picked up 11. Would it be the difference? It certainly helped to keep it close. 

The two teams traded wins all week long. A Mark Gregory (Cadieux Café) 2-1 win would be quickly countered with a Rich Stimson (Vivio’s) 2-1 win as well. And back and forth it went. Only 6 of the matches were played on Wednesday – eight of them were re-arranged (2 were not played), so by the time Thursday morning rolled around, no one really had any clue where the teams stood! We would have to wait until Friday morning to find out the final victor here. And it would come down to the number 2’s: Blake Ellis (Cadieux Café) v Derek Aguirre (Vivio’s).

Every match is important of course, but the fact that this one will make or break the season, the pressure was on, the focus intense. In round 6, Derek beat Blake 3-0. In fact, Derek has a solid record against Blake winning ten of their recorded twelve matches. But they haven’t played a lot in recent times. Outside of round 6, the last result was in February of 2020 and, notably, Blake actually won that encounter. Could he go against the trend again? Ummm, no, he could not. Derek seems to be in form and did not concede a game – a good move for his team because if he had done so, Vivio’s would have lost the day. I know there will be some mutterings and mumblings about this overall result: Vivio’s 32 - Cadieux Café – 31. I did predict a Vivio’s win here, but not one that came down to the wire. I got my ‘hairs’ crossed last week!

Onto the semifinals! First we have Foss Nation v Mongoose. Their round 4 meeting was close – 28-26 in favor of Mongoose. Twelve of the 16 matches were completed, Mongoose won 7 of them, only four of those were 3-0, and both teams picked up the same amount of bonus points. So it should be tight again, right? Well, one would think that from last week’s pathetic attempt of being a soothsayer, I would pack up my tea leaves and exit the building, but obviously I don’t learn from my own nitwittedness so here goes… the winner will be… and the team I therefore condemn …Foss Nation!

The other semifinal is Winky-Dinks v Vivio’s. They met way back in round 2, and Vivio’s pulled out the win 32-29. All but one match was played, only 4 of those results were 3-0, Vivio’s won 9 of the 15 matches both teams picked up the same amount of bonus points. Another anyone-can-win scenario it seems. In the spirit of keeping up with my shameless divinations, my tarot cards for this contest are telling me… to stop trying to predict results… not to complain about the broccoli in my dinner tonight… and that Vivio’s will be in the final!

NEVER IN DOUBT FOR MONGOOSE

Boasters League final round~~

During the entire second half of the season, for some reason it appeared to be a struggle to get the boosters matches played. And I found that strange because overall court usage has been particularly healthy. So people are playing… but just not their league matches? In either case, the last couple of weeks were an improvement on the first 7, however as you will see below, the stats are still somewhat unsightly.

The fact that Mongoose ended up on top should not be a surprise to anyone – comparatively speaking to other seasons, their stats aren’t off the charts by any means, they are simply better than the rest of the teams. Conversely, Nicker Ballers position shouldn’t be a shock either. The top six teams that are advancing to the play-offs were pretty much set weeks ago.

Biggest push of the last round came from Winky-Dinks with 47 points which was an important effort as they were chasing down Vivio’s for the coveted second spot on the standings. Their endeavors paid off as they overtook Rich Stimson’s team in the last few hours to grab that spot and be rewarded with a first-round pass in the finals.

Here are the stats for the half. They aren’t pretty…

·         Overall, 60% of matches were completed. Yeah, that’s very low. Up until the start of round 9, we were sitting under 50%. We had 72.5% of matches in the first half.

·         Mongoose won the half with 217 points. In 2019 second half (the last pre-Covid season) that would have been good enough for only 4^th. For the first half this season – 6^th.

·         Mongoose not only played the most amount of matches (66%), they also has the most bonus points by a wide margin – 79. The next best? Winky-Dinks with 63.

·         Two other teams also played 66% of their matches: Winky-Dinks and Butter Nutz.

·         Overall, 60% of the results were 2-1. This is my favorite stat – shows the competitiveness

·         Least amount of matches goes to Nicker Ballers with 50%.

·         Nicker Ballers also had the least amount of bonus points – by far. Only 29. The most players that turned up for them in any given week was 5. If they picked up as many bonus points as Mongoose, they would be in the play-offs.

·         Only 4 players picked up all 8 bonus points. And an amazing 14 players didn’t pick up any.

·         Vivio’s had the best winning percentage with 64%. Wardogs the lowest with 29%.

·         Winky-Dinks won the most 3-0 matches with 20.

·         Only 8 players played all 8 matches. None of the 8 went undefeated. (We had 27 players in the first half that played all 8 matches.)

·         Matt Paradiso (Winky-Dinks) picked up the most number of points for the half with 25.

·         Most points picked up in any one round is 39 by Vivio’s in round 3. Least amount of points was 10 – achieved by Nicker Ballers in round 1 (!).

·         All 16 matches in one round were not completed once. 15 matches were completed just once.

·         Most matches completed in any one round was 79.7% in round 2. Very low.

The quarter finals are upon us! The matches should be an interesting affair:

Vivio’s v Cadieux Café. Nothing like matching up Captains Rich Stimson and Patrick Petz for some friendly trash-talking! These 2 teams met in round 6 – one day before the start of the DAC Classic. Only 8 matches were completed, so it’s difficult to tell from only 50% of the results who the favorite should be here, but on that day, Vivio’s ruled the roost with a comprehensive 25 to 13 win. In fact, Vivio’s won 7 of those 8 matches. I guess it’s not too much of a stretch to predict that Cadieux Café will be in for a tough week.

The other quarter final we see Foss Nation tackling Butter Nutz. Their round 5 meeting was a lot closer: 24-23 to Butter Nutz. They played 13 of those matches and although Foss Nation won 8 of them, they strangely still lost. Bonus points were scarce that day as it was the evening of a big snow storm that kept all sane people at home. This one is a complete toss-up. But, as always, I’ll chuck some pressure on somebody here anyway and forecast a victory by a hair for… Foss Nation. (I’ve probably just doomed their chances!)

CRUISING TO THE FINALS

Boasters League round 7 

Not much going on this week. Of course, a major reason for this would be the DAC Squash Classic that took up 4 days of the week, so court availability was scarce at best. Winky-Dinks put in the best performance this round with 25 points and with that, they now have jumped into 6^th position, currently holding on to the final play-off spot. It’s all pretty bunched up from 2^nd to 6^th, but Over Served in 7^th are in reaching distance. They failed to play any make-up matches in their off week, something they will need to change if they want to reach the finals. Mongoose still hold a commanding lead, extending it to 26 points over second placed Foss Nation.

It will be interesting to see if we see a mad scramble in the last couple of weeks. History would suggest that it’s a crap shoot if that happens. Based on how this half has been going, I’m not holding my breath.

Of the handful of matches last night, the closest result of the night was Salam Chaudhary (Nicker Ballers) over Blake Ellis (Cadieux Café). Salam took the match 2-1, but came back from 10-14 down in the 3^rd to pinch it 15-14! Clearly that stress wasn’t enough, Salam immediately took on Paul Ward for an encore and they played for what seemed like hours. Another 8 games? Or was it 10? I lost count.

A bruising affair upstairs between AJ Peleman (Butter Nutz) and Paul Gormley (Vivio’s). At times it was “who-can-hit-it-harder?” as both of them would slam a length, get an opportunity to attack to the front part of the court, but then slam another length. It did make for entertaining squash. I will, however, save AJ from the embarrassment of the complete whiff from a meat-ball in the middle of the court as I will neglect to mention it. I’ll also neglect to mention he whiffed the ball in the next rally as well, just to prove the first whiff wasn’t a fluke. It wasn’t the cause of AJ’s loss in the match – Paul took the 2-1 win. In all seriousness though, it was a great battle.

Paul Huth (Mongoose) gets a special mention this week. Not because he lost his match to Matt Wilson (Winky-Dinks) 2-1, but because of the unending smile on his face. Say hello to the new Granddaddy in the DAC, Paul’s daughter Holly is the proud mum of a new baby boy! Paul is in heaven! We wish them all the best!

Two weeks before the play-offs. I am hoping for that mad scramble… with the standings as tight as they are, every match you play will make a difference. The top 2 teams will get the first round bye, the last 3 teams will be watching and pouting from the sidelines. Keep in mind that March 3 is the deadline to have all of your scores in to me. Once the scores are tallied the morning of March 4, any results that are reported afterwards will not be taken into consideration.

ALL CHASING THE MONGOOSE

Boasters League round 6 

Matches did pick up this week. Not to the level that is needed but it is an upward trend and hopefully we continue to see the rise for the remainder of the season. Mongoose once again is leading by example. They have extended their lead over the pack to 23 points, helped enormously due to the fact they have the most bonus points. As always, the team that turns up the most ends up right at (or near) top of the standings… and the team with the least… well that honor is currently being held by – you guessed it – the Nicker Ballers. And by a large margin.

The good news is that the standings are very close from second to sixth – just 10 points separate them. The Winky-Dinks are sitting in 7^th, just 7 points further back and are presently out of the play-offs. There should be a lot of shuffling going on. Remember, only the top 6 teams will advance and there are only 3 more weeks to go. The deadline for all the scores to be reported to me is March 3 (inclusive).

A couple of weeks ago Rich Stimson proclaimed his team - Vivio’s - to be the one to beat. They were 4^th on the ladder back then. They are now sitting pretty in second. They have only closed the gap by 6 points on Mongoose mind you, but his cheeky prognostication is heading in the right direction for now.

Match of the week must go to Gordie Maitland (Butter Nutz) and Julie Vande Vusse (Mongoose). They split the first two games 15-14 and it looked like they would be repeating the score line in the third until Gordie took a very ungentlemanly turn and decided to take the game 15-13 instead. It certainly was a move that lacked all civility, I mean it would have been the gallant thing to do to let Julie reach 14 at least. Right?

Another entertaining clash was Jason Currie (Mongoose) and Ryan Covell (Butter Nutz). It’s fun to watch two players of a similar level and style run themselves into the ground rally after rally. And, they appeared to be enjoying the torturous running as much as we were watching it. Jason ended up taking the match 2-1, a great win for him as he has only beaten Ryan 5 times out of 16 matches previous to yesterday.

Jake Whately (Wardogs) improved his second half record to 3 and 1 with a solid 2-1 victory over Will Markley (Over Served), and Matt Paradiso (Winky-Dinks) squeaked out a 2-1 triumph over new-comer to the DAC squash family Salam Chaudhary (Nicker Ballers) 2-1. Salam’s deft backhand hold drop wasn’t quite enough to overcome Matt’s youthfulness!

We move onto week 7. The round after the DAC Classic - which is usually quieter but I’m hoping to buck that trend this year. It will be an interesting tournament that starts tonight. We will be missing many Canadians, so the question remains… who will make up for their shenanigans? Who will replicate the Rob Doherty take-your-shirt-off-dancing-to-Michael-Jackson at the dinner / dance on Saturday? Or Gary Sullivan’s all nighter on Friday and Saturday… oh, actually, that will be Gary himself. Gary is coming. Should be a great weekend!!

SLUDGING ALONG

Boasters League round 4 

It feels like moving through week old molasses while wearing one of those atmospheric deep diving suits (you know, the ones with the metal helmets?) and pushing a block of concrete… uphill. With one arm. And ankles tied together. Such is the speed of which these boaters league matches are being played. Okay, okay, I am being a tad over-dramatic, and we can use the excuse for yesterday’s participation on Tuesday’s election. From what I heard it was a very successful day at the DAC, and celebrations went far into the wee hours, and no doubt the Wednesday morning was greeted with a few fuzzy-eyed headaches. But, believe it or not, we are just about half way through the second half of the season, and we’ve had a whopping 21% of matches completed so far.

Mongoose have increased their lead over the rest of the field, picking up the most points this week with 32, 9 better than next best Foss Nation. It’s not looking very promising for the Wardogs or Nicker Ballers, some dramatic improvement will be needed if they want to give themselves any chance of reaching the play-offs. The Nicker Ballers have the added dilemma of getting the bye week in the final round, so their situation is even more desperate.

All of this isn’t distressing Vivio’s captain Rich Stimson, who confidently announced that his team is the “team to beat”. A brazen if not brave statement considering they are 4^th on the standings and currently 29 points behind Mongoose. However, he may not be far off the mark if you currently look at the stats – They do have the highest win percentage – albeit it’s just 0.24% better than Mongoose – and they also have the best 3-0 win percentage, but they have the second lowest number of matches played so far. Like always – and with every team – it all comes down to who will turn and play.

Stand-out performances of the week: Mike Parker (Cadiuex Café) had the quick feet of Haytham Hermiz (Winky-Dinks) doing the double-two-step-tango-do-so-do as he boasted and angled and cross-courted and flicked and hit maybe a couple straight shots as well for his 2-1 win. I think Haytham’s head was still spinning in circles for at least 2 beers afterwards. Alex Parker (Vivio’s) followed in his father’s footsteps as he also recorded a 2-1 win over Kevin Thomas (Over Served) although his game style is a little more traditional.

But without a doubt, accomplishment of the night goes to John Mann who devoured an entire pizza while watching Jed and Vikram go at it. John’s form was flawless, poetry in motion, it’s beautiful to watch someone perform such feats as nature intended.

So, we are getting into the business end of the league season. Keep in mind that only the top 6 teams will reach the play-offs. Time to get busy. It’s also time for another coffee… one with a little extra ‘kick’ maybe…

VIVIO’S SURGING

Boasters League round 3~~ 

From last to 4^th. Vivo’s were wallowing in the depths of darkness after round 2, dead last and hardly disturbing the score keeper. Now, with a bunch of make up matches and a (so far) perfect win record in round 3 (6 matches, 6 wins), they flung themselves into 4^th with a week’s best 38 points. That’s 5 points better than next best Mongoose, who still managed to increase their lead atop of the standings.

So a little better action with the top 4 teams, but not so much concerning the remainder. Nicker Ballers have been very consistent with their bonus point tally – unfortunately it’s appallingly low with just 4 per week. Wardogs have also gone MIA which is surprising considering they won the first half. They have played the least amount of matches so far this half.

It was meet the candidates last night, so we did see some decent action. Not just on the court, the buffet table saw constant waves of attacks, snipers, and raiders. Nothing like free tacos to attract the masses… “Om-nom-nom-nom…”. Server Tony at the keg woke up this morning with an achy arm and shoulder from pulling beers non-stop. It was actually great to be a part of a full court area again.

The on-court action was where the mouths were empty, but the lungs were heaving. Greg Jones (Foss Nation) and Schuyler Hamill (Nicker Ballers) had a looong 3 games. It was almost as if I was watching a video game as most of the game was located in the front two-thirds of the court, lots of drops and angles, but both players would be standing still admiring their shot and waiting until the other one sprinted it down and then did exactly the same thing: Hit it, watch it, wait… then tear off after the next one. In other words fellas… “Get back to the T!!” It did, however, make it entertaining. Greg by the way won 2-1.

Picking up his first win of the half, Michael Essian (Over Served) is getting more comfortable every week. A great confidence booster for him, he managed to hold off Anita Prys (Mongoose) 2-1 and hand her, her first loss of the half.

Brian Ellison’s (Cadiuex Café) match gets a special mention as well, not because of the toughness of the battle against Scott Beals (Butter Nutz), because it wasn’t. Brian won 3-0, the third game a pulverizing 15-1. But because of Scott’s blissful aura despite walking off the court after the match with his backside in his hands. He was in heaven. Why? Because earlier that evening he won his doubles league match against Vikram Chopra and Robin Basil. Of course, it would have everything to do with Jed being his partner, but a win is a win. So delighted was Scott with the best win of his illustrious squash career, he left everything on the doubles court and forgot to take it with him to the singles: his mind, his swing, his racquet it appears…

Into round 4, I expect more results to be rolling in now. (Me, being the eternal optimist!) Clearly my warnings about letting matches pile up went unheeded, which I guess as a married man, I should be used to being ignored. But time will be catching up with everybody and I have a feeling things will turnaround. I also wonder… for how long will Scott Beals mention this epic doubles win every time the conversation he’s involved in turns to squash... or even when it doesn’t? Will squash shoes ever be on the market again? Will my neighbor ever, ever, turn off the lights inside their house or are they actually afraid of the dark? Things to lose sleep over…

SPUTTERING ALONG

Boasters League round 2~~

Definitely a step up from last week with attendance, but that wasn’t exactly a high bar to reach in the first place. Patrick Petz had the perfect motivation for his team to turn up with sponsored shirts to hand out. He had 12 players rock up for their bonus points and a very loud green “Caduiex Café” shirt… makes them look like leprechauns, but so far they haven’t been very lucky on court. Not that there are too many results to get excited about but only 3 wins in 2 rounds isn’t the start one would hope for.

Mongoose jump to the top of the standings, tied on points with Foss Nation, but they do have more bonus points. On the opposite end of the spectrum to Caduiex Café, Mongoose only has 1 loss in the 2 rounds so far – sounds intimidating – but they have only played 9 matches. Out of a possible 32. So perspective is important.

It was great to see our 2019 Club Champion in the house yesterday – Stefan Houbtchev (Nicker Ballers). Stefan has been stuck for almost 2 full years in Canada, unable to cross the border due to the pandemic and he made first appearance in style for the league with a convincing 3-0 win over Ryan Covell (Butter Nutz) . However, it wasn’t all tears and misery for Ryan as he did beat Stefan on the doubles court. We’ll be seeing Stefan and Ryan this Saturday complete against the BAC for the coveted Farris Cup.

Also making a rare appearance was Peter Logan – all the way from where the buffalo roam and the deer and the antelope play, the backstreets on Montana countryside. Where, actually, there are only backstreets, tumbleweeds, and 1850 western towns where it’s never big enough for the 2 of us. Peter is here also to represent us on Saturday, all fired up for a good ol’ fashion butt-kickin’ over them city folk of Birm'ngh'm.

Mentioning other mentionables worthy of mention, JB Peabody (Foss Nation) picked up his second straight 2-1 win of the half over Michael Craig (Over Served). JB lost the third game and blamed his fitness level for fading away at the end of the match. Of course, nothing like admitting to that while you’re guzzling a beer. Julie Vande Vusse (Mongoose) guzzling of the wine was of the celebratory kind as she must have been rather satisfied with her 2-1 victory over Todd Baker (Cadieux Café), and John Mann (Over Served) is a man (!) on a mission, desperate to prove himself after being dropped one spot in the league for the second half. He took care of business with his second 3-0 of the season.

So we were better this week, but still not where we need to be. We need to get matches completed. What will week 3 have in store for us? Will the Nicker Ballers get more than 4 players to show up? Will Evan and Matt Moore start wearing name tags so I can tell who is who? Will the Christmas tree in my living room ever find it’s way to the basement again? Ahhh… the mysteries of the universe…

IF YOU HAVEN’T HEARD, THE LEAGUE STARTED

Boasters League round 1~~

Don’t you love this time of year? The Holidays are over, the weather is nasty cold, the sun sets in the middle of the afternoon if we see it all, I’m sure my driveway gets longer every snowfall when I have to shovel it, and the Lions surprise me every week since I can’t honestly believe they can get any worse but they continually prove me wrong. Oh, and if you haven’t heard, the second half of the Boasters League started yesterday.

Probably one of the quietest league nights I have experienced in recent memory. When the highest scoring team for the week only picks up 16 points, that’s not something to brag about. In fact, between the 8 teams that were scheduled to play, a total of 56 bonus points were collected compared to a total of 39 points scored on the court! I’m sure that catering was shocked to see the keg was still half full by the end of the night!

Winky-Dinks are the ‘winners’ of week 1, atop the standings by one solitary point over Cadieux Café. I wouldn’t read anything into that considering how few matches were completed, but I guess the optics would be a mental boost. Much rather be first, right?

On my walkabouts upstairs last night, I did see the last few hits of the Matt Thatcher (Mongoose) v Paul Palinski (Nicker Ballers) encounter. Paul looked like he’d just came off a Stu Hadden interval track session, sunken red eye-sockets a clear indication of oxygen deprivation… or a hangover… or he was auditioning for the role of Emperor Palpatine in the Star Wars movies… or he’d been crying… Matt’s 2-1 victory may have indicated the latter of the options, but I’m assured it was the excessive running. Matt’s sly little smile also indicated he enjoyed every moment of Paul’s discomfort.

I’m not going to mention, however, bumping into Renée Fershée (Mongoose) as she was making her way to the… (cough, cough… rubs temples…) Pickleball court. Nor am I going to mention seeing Chris Moyer (Over Served) in the middle of his Pickleball match at the time. Because mentioning it may make someone uncomfortable. At least Chris also played his boasters match, so he does redeem himself a little.

Things are bound to pick up – but it will be very important for players to start arranging matches now and not let them pile up. Before you know, we’ll be 5 weeks in, and you’ll have a month left to play 8 opponents.

A DECENT FIRST HALF

Boasters League – Round 9

It wasn’t record breaking, but I’m fairly content with the turn-out for the first half of the Boasters League. Of course, all things considered with the pandemic wreaking havoc with everybody’s life! Surprisingly, we didn’t fill up with the usual 153 players, we ended up 9 short of that. The Wednesday evenings were a little hit and miss with participation, but make-up matches were relatively healthy. I was most pleased that the standings remained close all the way through and the winner of the first half wasn’t a foregone conclusion weeks before the end. As you can see from the standings, Wardogs came out the victor even though Mongoose had the same amount of points. The difference? Wardogs had more bonus points. Other stats to ponder for the half:

·         Overall, 72.5% of matches were completed. No where near the record of 85% set in 2016. In fact, not even one single team played that much.

·         The most frustrating part of the first half was the 5 members who immediately dropped out of the league after the schedule was released. I replaced 3 of them, but 2 teams remained 1 player short. Those teams ended up 7^th and 9^th, a definite handicap.

·         Mongoose played the most with 80%, Wardogs 79%.

·         No prize for guessing the team who played the least… yep – Over Served with 63%.

·         Bonus points also ran to true to form. The top 2 teams accumulated the most. Nicker Ballers the least. In fact Nicker Ballers averaged just over 5 per week… from a maximum of 16. Ugh.

·         Best winning percentage goes to Foss Nation with 59%. They were 7^th! Strangely though, out of all their wins, only 16% of them were 3-0.

·         Mongoose had the highest percentage of 3-0 wins. When they won a match, it was 3-0 48% of the time.

·         Lowest winning percentage was Over Served with just under 30%.

·         Most points scored in any one round was Wardogs in round 1 with 37.

·         Least amount of points scored was Over Served in round 9 with 9.

·         Not once were all 16 matches completed in any one round. 15 matches were played just twice.

·         Highest scorers for the half were Jed Elley (Wardogs) and Paul Palinski (Mongoose) with 28.

·         27 players played all 8 of their matches. Not bad.

·         4 of those 27 also went through undefeated: Will Markley (Winky-Dinks); Paul Palinski (Mongoose); Henry Gembis (Foss Nation); Jordan Dean (Vivio’s).

·         Only 13 players picked up all 8 of their bonus points. 5 of those players were from Wardogs.

·         8 players didn’t pick up any bonus points at all.

 
As I mentioned, not groundbreaking numbers, but all in all acceptable. When 64% of all the results are 2-1, it does appear the parity was pretty good. That being said, I have gone through everybody’s win / loss record for the half and juggled people around. Ten players have needed to be replaced as well. Please understand the aim is to make the league as competitive and fair as possible, and that I have done my best to keep you on your original team. 85% of you are, but with the new players entering the league (some of which are a high level) some team trading is unavoidable, and you may also feel that you haven’t moved up or have been moved down where it wasn’t warranted. I assure you that many decisions were not easy to make, and it is impossible to keep everyone happy. I apologize in advance. I predict an awesome second half to the league, so have a fantastic holiday break and we’ll see you all bright eyed and bushy tailed come 2022!

RAISE YOUR DRINKS FOR THE WINKY-DINKS

 Boasters League Final

In these very strange times we are living through, it’s often comforting to just simply grab onto a security blanket, curl up into the fetal position and think of a happy place. Do we even remember what normal was? Well, the Tigers are terrible this season… that’s normal… The Pistons are also terrible this season… that’s normal too… The Lions outlook for next season is disastrous… nothing more normal than that I guess! And best of all, we played and completed the Boasters League season.

Yes, it was an adjusted format, a little smaller than years past, but just getting through it and announcing a winner is reassuring that life is getting back to where it once was.

I wish I could report on the individual matches for the Winky-Dinks v Over Served final but since all of them were self-scheduled, I didn’t witness any of the epic results that came through. Good news is that all the matches were played – 10 of them- and only 3 ended up with a 3-0 score line. Each team ended up winning 5 matches each but the difference were those 3-0 results. Winky-Dinks won all 3 of them which gave them the not-so-close-looking-but-in-reality-it-could-have-easily-gone-the-other-way 18 to 12 victory.

In fact, Winky-Dinks were rather fortunate to be in the final in the first place. They won their semi-final against Wardogs on the tie-break. Scores were tied at 12-all but Winky-Dinks had won more matches on the day (6 wins to 2) giving them the advantage. I must say though, hats off to them. Between all the matches they played in the semi and final combined, they only lost 1 match 3-0. They picked up at least 1 game in every other contest. Impressive. Goes completely against their season average.

Winky-Dinks deserve every bit of the title. They were the bench mark all season long, played the most matches, scored the most bonus points. It is captain Justin Winkelman’s 3^rd Boasters League championship, where he went back-to-back in 2015 and 2016.

GETTING THROUGH BOASTERS

Boasters League February – March 2021

The most satisfying part of this Boasters League was the fact that we were able to run it at all. Pandemic affected like everything else, we had to adjust the structure a little in order to accommodate which of course made everything that smidgeon more complicated. All the matches were self-scheduled to avoid the Wednesday night congregations and only 4 teams advanced to the finals as opposed to the usual six. The bonus point structure was also modified, rewarding players that completed more matches overall.

Additionally, the captains did not draft their own teams. I took it upon myself to do that as randomly and fairly as possible. Ranking players accurately was made all the more difficult since many players that entered the league hadn’t picked up a racquet since the initial lockdown – almost a full 12 months ago. Given all that, was it surprising that the same familiar teams reached the finals? Mongoose and Winky-Dinks once again ended up in the mix. The one common denominator here are obviously the captains… or is simply coincidence this time? It wasn’t their drafting prowess. The stats will explain why:

·         We had 99 registrations. Pre-pandemic times, we cap it at 153. We ended up with 94 players in the end. A couple of injuries and a couple who decided that they weren’t actually comfortable playing after all.

·         33% of matches were completed overall. Yes, that’s very low. But no, I’m not overly shocked. Given that all matches were self-schedule, expectations were rather bleak.

·         Round 1 had the most matches played. Round 9 the least.

·         Winky-Dinks played the most matches with 38%. Over Served and Wardogs were next with 36%, and then Mongoose with 35%. Guess where these 4 teams ended up?

·         Nicker Ballers and Nick at Night played the least. Guess where they ended up?

·         Mongoose had the best win percentage with 62.5%. Of those wins, they would win 3-0 53% of the time.

·         When Foss Nation would win a match, they would win it 3-0 67% of the time – the highest in the league. Unfortunately, their win percentage overall was only 43.9%.  

·         Lowest win percentage was Nick at Night with 37.5%.

·         The most points scored in any one round was the Nicker Ballers in round 1 with 17 (not including bonus points). They only reached double digits once more all season. They scored zero in round 9.

·         The top 4 teams also picked up the most bonus points. Not surprising considering they also played the most matches.

·         4 players played all 8 matches – none of them were undefeated. 4 players didn’t play any.

·         Matt Wilson from Vivio’s scored the most points in the league with 21. In fact, he scored 23% of his team’s total. 

The top 4 teams have advanced. Winky-Dinks v Wardogs on the top half. These two played each other in round eight and 7 of the 11 matches were completed (not bad!) with Wardogs coming out barely with their noses in front 11-10. We’ll have 2 byes, which means only 9 matches can be played here. Too close to call if all matches get done I think, but what the hey, let me go out on a limb and predict the Wardogs will survive another tight one by just a couple of points.

On the bottom half we see Mongoose battling Over Served. Also a repeat of round 8, and again 7 of the 11 matches were completed back then. Mongoose ruled that day 12 to 9. I think that trend will continue and I predict another Mongoose victory by a similar margin of 3 – if not 4 – points.