Thursday, November 8, 2018


Boasters League round 6~~

Busy, busy, busy. Now, that was more like it. Courts were full, people were waiting, racquets were swinging, keg was in overdrive… this is the atmosphere that we remember and love. Certainly the highest number of matches that we have had completed this season on a league night, I hope this trend continues for the remainder of the season. As I always say, there is still room for more – you can never have enough squash players in the world – and if we need to sardine you into the courts, we will. Nice and snug. Or, give us more courts…?

The standout team for week 6… Butter Nutz. Most matches, most bonus points, most overall points. They picked up 45 points this week and extended their lead atop the standings to 15. Wardogs were the second best performers with a total of 39 points and must look like a speck on the horizon for the remaining chasing crowd. Two teams share third (overall bonus points separate them only) but are a massive 31 points back. Keep in mind though, that both Butter Nutz and Wardogs still have a bye week to endure so there is still a slim chance they could be caught.

Not surprisingly, if you ranked the teams in order of total bonus points after 6 weeks, the top 3 teams wouldn’t change. The lowest 4 teams would also be the lowest 4 teams although in a slightly different order. Additionally, if you ranked all the teams on how many matches they have played, order would be exactly the same. Something to chew over…

Let’s pick some memorable moments from last night… Matthew Peleman (Butter Nutz) and John Stelter (Winky-Dinks) proved beyond any reasonable doubt that running twice as much as necessary is absolutely unnecessary. However, for the casual observer (me, in this case) it was undeniably entertaining. Fittingly, the third game decided the winner here, both players doing their utmost not to spit out a lung. Matthew ended up with the spoils, and as he came off court quipped, “I’m so fat!” which he isn’t, but it didn’t stop him from making his way downstairs for a diet beer.

In another monumental effort not to spit out a lung, Greg Baker (Wardogs) forced himself through the hazy fog of exhaustion, taking the first 2 games against Mike Parker (Mongoose) but succumbing on wobbly knees in the third as chasing down Mike’s persistent boasts were a few hundred steps too many. And I take personal delight in shouting out Sam Quilter (Butter Nutz), who picked up her 5th win of the season and is showing improvement every week, her hard practice work paying off.

Other noteworthy memories… John Roarty (Vivio’s) picked up one for the veterans as he took down his younger counterpart James Van Dyke (Nicker Ballers) 2-1; Steven Siegel (Wardogs) remains undefeated with his 2-1 victory over Dino Ricci (Mongoose), handing Dino his first loss of the half; and Tripp Kennedy (Nick at Night) improves to 4 and 1 overall after handing Spencer Eick (On the Rocks) his first defeat with a 2-1 score line.  

As we tiptoe into week 7, everybody needs to take a careful look at their match count. Time is running out for you to get your 5 matches up. Don’t be left scrambling last minute, that generally will end badly. Keep in mind that you do have a week off during Thanksgiving, so try your best to play, play, play. We have 34 players who have already reached that benchmark, only 119 to go. Speaking of Thanksgiving, which Detroit Lions team will turn up that Day against the Bears? Was it smart to trade Golden Tate so early in the season? Is that pencil stuck permanently in Matt Patricia’s ear? What’s he hiding under his Grizzly Adams beard? Who thought those hideous grey uniforms they wore against the Cowboys was a great idea? They are a mysterious team….

Thursday, November 1, 2018


Boasters League round 5~~


Having league night fall on Halloween is generally not a recipe for a huge turnout. My expectations were for a light evening but all things considered, it wasn’t too bad. I wish we could delay the league when the dates clash, but unless someone can create a 53rd week in the year, we’ll have to live with it. It doesn’t happen that often anyway.

That being said, the best costume performance of Halloween goes to team Foss Nation. They all collaborated together and came a full unit of the Invisible Man. So effective they were, that I only could actually see 4 of them. Unfortunately for the remaining 13 players on their team, they don’t get the bonus point. That’s the price they pay for being too well disguised. Four bonus points may be a record low for a league night.

Mongoose however exceeded expectations, probably incited by the horror show Captain Huth would inflict on them otherwise, and 12 of their personnel rocked up. The Wardogs also had 12 players present which leads me to believe that they had forgotten what the date was.

There wasn’t a lot of change in the standings this week. The basement musical chairs drama continues, as Vivio’s pulled themselves out of it (barely mind you) and Foss Nation with their league worst 15 points this week basically threw themselves down to replace them. Butter Nutz still hold on to top spot, Mongoose jumped up one position to 4th, but overall no one has made any significant headway since round 4.

Any monster performances this round? Jerry-the-Rock-Lobster (On the Rocks) tried his dandiest to out lob, out cross-court-drop, out short-angle the speedy Mack-I-do-not-look-like-my-father!-Gembis (Mongoose) but it was to no avail. At least to win the match. Mack was more than happy to chase any and all unorthodox shot choices down, and take the 2-1 victory.

John Perkins (Wardogs) had to battle his own urges and try not to out-dink the dink-master himself, Paul Van Tol (Winky-Dinks). Paul is an awkward customer to deal with as he is laser focused on depositing anything and everything into the front corners. Regardless of where he is. Or where his opponent is for that matter. It is rather strange how one can get sucked into their opponent’s game – if they drop, you drop. If they hit it hard, you try to hit it harder. It’s the macho coming out in us that we can play your game better than you. John untwisted himself from those mind games to win 2-1.

Peter Shumaker (Winky-Dinks) inflicted Keith King’s (Wardogs) first loss of the season taking him down 2-1; Janie Franklin (Wardogs) picked up her second win with a come from behind in the 3rd game to beat Bill Largent (Winky-Dinks) 2-1; and Michael Craig (Nick at Night) remains undefeated as he took down Matt Peleman (Butter Nutz) 2-1 (although it was the first game he has dropped!)

As we creep into round 6, everybody must keep in mind that you must play a minimum 5 matches to remain eligible for the second half. After 5 rounds right now, only 7 players have reached that plateau. Deadline to get any / all your matches done: December 9. Put it on your calendar. No excuses. Also to keep in mind and make you contemplate pointless stuff: Which Super Hero did Dewey Steffen get dressed up as for Halloween? Ant Man? Doctor Strange? Captain Underpants? Does anyone on this planet actually like candy corn? Will I ever use the knowledge I learnt in school of dissecting a frog in adult life? “Hmmmmm…..”

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