DOING THE GREG JONES BLITZ

Blitz Tournament March 15, 2019

A lower than expected / wanted turnout for the 22nd running of the bi-annual Blitz Tournament. Unlike October’s event where all 28 players registered actually turned up, this one was a roller-coaster of entry numbers. On the morning of, there were 22 players. By lunch, we were down to 20. A half hour before the start, another cancellation had us at 19 and my patience fuse was burning hot and getting rather short. When the official start time was upon us, we had an extra person who thought they had registered - but didn’t - turn up, bringing the number back up to 20, and defusing my frustration-bomb somewhat, happy to re-organize the draw (again) to end up with 4 even groups of 5. Phew!

It is surprising more players do not take advantage of this format, you are guaranteed games against members who would normally never step on court with, and everybody does have some chance of winning because of the handicapping. But maybe the low numbers this time could be attributed to the fact that the Edge Challenge - “The Gauntlet” - was scheduled early the following morning and a handful of squash players were taking part in that torture obstacle course. (Helping out for that event, I have never been so many people so miserable yet having a blast at the same time!)

Greg Jones, Greg Allare, Mike Parker, Tony Sorgi, Sky Hamill

The measure of the perfect handicap is of course when the score ends up as 15-14. It would be utopian to expect every single match having to finish with a sudden-death rally as there is nothing more exciting in sports. Of the 40 group matches played, 8 of them (20%) ended up with that scenario, so I can’t be too upset with that number. Another 16 of them ended up 15-13 (40%) and that is also more than acceptable as even the underdog still thinks they have a chance of victory when the score is 13-all, just 2 points away.

It’s amazing that with this format, so often the result of just one rally can change the entire outcome of the tournament. Greg Jones kept to that script beautifully in his group as all 4 of his matches ended up 15-13. He won 3 of them to advance to the finals round, his only loss came at the hands of Greg Allare. Greg, however, only managed 2 wins, faltering on his last match against Sky Hamill where - lo and behold - he lost the 14-all sudden death rally. A point, if he had won, would have had him in the finals. The pressure of a do-or-die rally I believe is greater on the higher ranked player as the underdog doesn’t have any pressure on them - they aren’t expected to win anyway. That can make them throw caution to the wind, whereas the higher ranked player may tighten up, get a little tense and nervous and play overly cautious… just what Greg seemed to experience here! Sky’s win forced a 3-way “drawing of the straws” to see who would end up second in that group (behind Greg Jones), and his good fortune continued. He drew the lucky straw, rubbing that extra salt into Greg Allare’s already festering wounds.

David de la Chapo-Nacho-Guapo-Torre also squeaked by the group session with 3 wins. One of those was also a 15-14 defeat of Jeff Jorge where had Jeff not whiffed on the return of serve at 14-all, we may had seen Jeff advance instead of Dave. I think Jeff had 3-4 chances to take the game as well. Jon Diewald is clearly not Irish as on this St. Patrick’s Day weekend, he had zero luck closing out any games. He went 0 for 4, two of those were 14-15, the other two were 13-15. Again, if he had won both of those sudden-death rallies, the finals list may have been different. Next year he may change his name to Johnny O’Diewald.

The third group seemed to have some whacky results. I’d probably blame the handicapping here, but it can’t possibly be my fault, so I won’t even consider it. Kevin Prather seemed to get the worst of it, but in true Kevin form, he took it all in stride. Not even 4 back-to-back spankings can wipe that smile off his face. And where one suffers, one takes the advantage. Henry Gembis plowed his way through his first 3 matches, completely disrespecting the handicaps and trying (successfully) to make me look bad.  He did lose his last match against Steve Smihal 15-13, so I did gain a little reverence back on that one. Speaking of Steve, his 15-14 win over Andrew Peleman was another rally that changed the finals contenders.

The fourth and final group was also decided through a couple of sudden-sudden-death rallies. Mack Gembis had both of them, and on both occasions he ended up on top as well. Losing just one of them would have had him eliminated from the finals round. Brian Bartes was the second player to get through this group, but he also earns the “Sante" award, a new title to the one that complains about their handicapping but wins anyway! I presume since Brian lost his first game to Blake Roller 15-10, it was incontrovertibly the poor handicapping against him that caused it, so all future handicapping was without doubt there to ruin his chances as well! I wonder how he won the next three games then? (All in good fun, of course - !!)

Han Peng, Jeff Jorge, David de la Torre

On to the knock-out finals round. Let’s stay with Brian for now. His first match was up against Henry Gembis. After I asked the question out loud to the crowd what Henry’s handicap should be, in perfect protection of her husband, Heidi Bartes suggested a modest 6. She was of course thoroughly and one hundred percent wrong, and the 9 I was going to give Henry suddenly turned into a 10. And it was spot on. Henry made Brian work hard for the 15-14 win. Next challenge for Brian was Sky Hamill. Once again I asked the crowd for the handicap, and suddenly there was a loud silence coming from the Bartes camp. I wonder why that was…? Anyway, Sky received 11 points head start and again it was on the money. Another exciting down to the wire exchange, and once again Brian scraped through 15-14. He was on to the final.

On the upper half of the bracket, David de la Torre started his campaign with a crushing win over Steve Smihal. Steve’s 10 points did make any dent into Dave’s psyche as he rolled to the victory losing just 1 rally. Seeing that emphatic result, for Dave’s semifinal against Greg Jones, I handed Greg an 11 handicap. Now I have no idea what happened during the few minutes between the games, but Dave went from channeling his inner Egyptian against Steve, to channeling his inner Muppet Movie against Greg. It what was one of the fastest ever results ever to be recorded, Greg won his four straight rallies in probably less than 20 seconds to claim the 15-0 bagel and send Dave packing. In fact, Dave must have been so shook up, he also lost the 3rd / 4th play-off to Sky 15-13. One cerveza too many, Dave?

Greg Jones and Brian Bartes

So we were left with Brian Bartes v Greg Jones for the title. Greg walked on with a 10 point lead, again not hearing any objections about that either… It was another barn burner for Brian, he again was forced to work very hard, Greg inspired by the fact he could see and smell the finish line even before the game started! Brian never stops hustling - he is by all means a vicious competitor. As much as Greg made him run, Brian was more than happy to oblige. No easy points either way, Brian slowly closed the gap. And just when you thought he was inches away from completing the comeback, Greg snagged the final couple of points needed to snuff out the challenge. The 15-13 win was well deserved! So Greg Jones is our new Blitz Champion - one step better from his second place finish from just 12 months ago! He won 6 matches, 5 of them 15-13 (one of them 15-0…!) and lost just 1. And Brian takes second place, he no doubt covered the most miles on the court of anyone else this evening, a true fighter to the end. He also got up at the crack of dawn the next day to take part in the Gauntlet… I guess he is a masochist at heart!