BIG SUMMER BLOW-OUT

2022 Summer Leagues Breakdown

“Big Summer Blow-Out?” You may think I’m talking about the Detroit Tigers? You know, our baseball team that gets blown out every other game? The one that – at the time I am writing this – are 33 games below .500… A team clearly trying to grab the mantle of “worst franchise in Detroit” from the Lions… the team with a stadium that seats 45,000 more people than needed… But no! Nor am I talking about the Big Summer Blow-Out where you can get half off swimming-suits, clogs, and a sun-balm of Oaken’s own invention… ya? (see link) No!!

I’m talking about the Summer Squash leagues that have smashed all previous records! The stats below will show how good we were, you should be very much proud of yourselves. Of course, I am a perfectionist, so there is always room for improvement and we can always do better. Just like me deep cleaning the house for 2 days straight with a magnifying glass and an arsenal of cleaning products before my wife and daughter return from their European trip, the first words out of her mouth when she enters the door is, “hmmm, you missed a spot”.

The Doubles League was a 10-week session. A record 57 registrations. Four divisions. Nine matches per week. Like every summer, we do get a substantial increase in the amount of sub requests compared to the regular season, and like every summer, those subs are generally more difficult to find. It comes with the territory although I do wish we had less last-minute cancellations. I also wish we had less fish flies asphyxiating my garage door, but who can stop nature?

•        90 matches were arranged overall. 83 of them were played which is 92%... not bad for the summer, and not the record.
•       Only one of the matches that was not played was due to a no-show… sort of. This individual did actually turn up but had mis-read the time and was an hour late.
•       Three of the matches that were not played vowed to rearrange and complete it at a later date. Shockingly (!), that never happened.
•       Monday A League…  29 of 30 matches were completed. They required a sub 35% of the time, and only 3 matches did not need any subs at all. Shail Arora played 13 of the matches and therefore ended up with the most points, Patrick Petz played 12 matches. Results were pretty evenly spread: 10 results were 3-0; 9 results were 3-1; 10 results were 3-2. Tai Tran ended up with the best average, but since he’s a DAC manager, he is ineligible to take the gift card, so next best goes to Rich Stimson.
•       Tuesday B League… This level was definitely the most reluctant to sub. Only 17 matches of the 20 were played. In 2 cases, we simply couldn’t find a sub and one time the foursome vowed to play at a later date but never did. Four matches didn’t require any subs. Overall, subs were needed 34% of the time, but the final 3 weeks of the season, it was 50%. Daniel Dusina easily won best average amongst the players that reached the 5 match minimum to qualify, over 1 ½ points better than his closest rival. Paul Gormley scored the most points, but he also played half the matches. Only 4 matches ended up 3-2.
•       Wednesday C League… 19 of 20 matches were completed. This group, led by the effervescent, cattle prodding, cat-herding, “I’ll-play-8-hours-a-day-if-I’m-allowed” Reneé Fershée, was the most responsive to sub. In fact, in one match, I had 6 people thinking they were all playing. Good problems to have! Five of the 19 matches didn’t need any subs, and overall, subs were needed 27.5% of the time. (Best of all the levels.) This group was also the most competitive – only 5 of the 19 results were 3-0. 14 regulars for the C league is a summer league record. Brian Weitzel accumulated the most points and Spencer Roed came away with the best average.
•       Thursday Open League… I was a little skeptical about a league that was running at 6am, but it didn’t turn out too bad. The Open group is notoriously less reliable in the summer, but they did get 18 of their 20 matches completed. Subbing was somewhat like pulling teeth, cancellation threats saved some matches. Subs were needed 40% of the time (highest of the levels), and it was actually 50% for the last 4 weeks. Only 1 match did not need any subs at all. John Mann played 12 of the 18 matches and ended up with the most points, and Corey Kabot showed everybody he can still hit a mean ball and comfortably won best average.

The Singles League was even more impressive. A record 107 players spread over 10 teams (some teams had 11 players, some 10). It was 16 weeks, taking everybody up through Labor Day. Many new faces which I think helped the numbers as generally speaking, the ‘newbies’ are extremely keen to get active. Shout out to Fred Minturn’s secretary – Shirley – she took on task of arranging and reporting many of the matches for Fred’s team, and in fact registered the full team all at once! You will see how that paid off below:

•      A total of 804 matches were reported. That. Is. Amazing. It’s an incredible 168 matches better than the previous record. We averaged 50 matches a week – or even better, 7 matches a day.
•      The most matches played in one week was 72. That was the 13th week of the season. The least amount was 31 matches – the final week of the season, but it was also Labor Day weekend, so no surprise there.
•      Scrambled Legs played the most matches with 165. (That’s Shirley’s influence!). They managed to complete a full round for an extra 10 points and were only 4 matches off completing the second round as well.
•      Only one other team played at least 100 matches: Planet Volleywood. But 2 others got to 99 (!): Blood Bath and Beyond and Run Like the Winded.
•      Five teams played at least 1 match every single week. That’s actually a good stat.
•      Six of the 16 weeks had every team play at least 1 match.
•      The most matches played in one week was 19 by Scrambled Legs in week 14.
•      10 players failed to play at all. This is always a disappointing number if it isn’t zero.
•      Biggest point getter was Spencer Roed (Run Like the Winded) with 269. Three other players reached 200 points as well.
•     Matt Paradiso and Ian Edwards (Planet Volleywood) played 22 times. The most in the league. Ian apparently loves the punishment. And bagels.
•     17 players scored at least 100 points. Six of those were on Scrambles Legs.

So, there you have it – bask in the glory of fantastic-ness. We definitely raised the bar this summer, so naturally I will have these expectations next year… 900 matches perhaps? Looking forward to upcoming ‘busy’ season, if you haven’t yet registered for the league, you better send me an email asap… not many spots left!

LA CRÈME DE LA SINGLES CRÈME

2022 DAC Club Championships

Officially, it’s the end of the season. Awards Dividend night doesn’t just celebrate the winners of the club championships, but in reality rejoices the past 8 months of leagues and tournaments we have all endured and enjoyed, experienced both wins and losses, made new friends and strengthened current relationships, guzzled a few beers, and hopefully have felt like the DAC is your second home. We’ve had a pretty respectable run – The Pro Squash Tournament in October featuring (then) world #2 Nouran Gohar from Egypt who is now world #1, the Farris Cup, the DAC Squash Classic, the McQueenie Cup… just to list a few. The cherry on top is the club championships, so let’s suckle on its sweetness and explore the results!

Here is Part 2… Singles…

2.5… Joe Schmidt was the number one seeded player and Joe Schmidt won this category. But he was very close to not even reaching the semifinal. He played 4 matches, won three of them 3-0. His second-round match, however, was an absolute crackerjack of a contest against Todd Szymczak. We don’t get too many results like this one, and here is when we all wish that both players could advance to the next round as neither deserve to lose. Or, (and no offense to anyone else in the draw) this would have been an sensational final. Joe ended up winning 16-14 in the 5^th, one for the ages. On the bottom half of the draw, we had some tight results, but also three defaults for various unfortunate / unavoidable reasons, which may or may not have influenced the outcomes. Scott Wloszek is a new player to the DAC squash family – so new in fact, that I would probably struggle to recognize him if he walked into my office (as terrible as that sounds!) Scott reached the final with a couple of 3-1 wins along the way, but couldn’t quite keep up with Joe. It’s Scott’s first season and already he has an impressive win / loss record (16 and 4). Quick learner apparently! The 2.5 category was littered with 3-2 results, in fact of the 21 players in the draw, we only had five 3-0 scores.

3.0…  “Boo Yah!” I bet you can’t guess who won this category? It’s a mystery I will leave until the end… “Boo Yah!” Before I get there, I would like to congratulate the first finalist, Eric Corrado. Eric only started playing 4 months ago and somehow, someway, is defying the odds and winning every match he plays. “Boo Yah!” A couple of solid wins to start his 3-0 campaign, Eric beat Daniel Dusina in 5 and then Will Markley 3-0, then only dropped one game more in the next 2 matches to get to the final. “Boo Yah!” Meeting him there was Mr. “Boo Yah!” himself, Dewey Steffen – collector of rare club championship trophies covering a broad array of sports, owner of the world’s biggest mantle piece above a fireplace, moderator of countless social media sites. “Boo Yah!” Dewey, to be fair, does practice hard on his game and he has been regularly on court with Stu, working on his trash talking amongst other things! Not that he needed it for the final. “Boo Yah!” A clinical display, Dewey showed a little too much power and consistency and managed to hand Eric his first official “Boo Yah!”  and loss on a squash court. He now must step up to at least the 3.5. Maybe even the 4.0… depends on how many times I hear “Boo Yah!” between now and then.

3.5… The biggest of all the draws, we had 26 players. That meant 25 matches. Of those 25 matches, only three of them were 3-0. Three. That’s crazy. As crazy as finding out that the blob of toothpaste that sits on your toothbrush is called a ‘nurdle’… (I am going to attempt to use that word in a sentence next week.) Anyway, the bracket was competitive is my point. So, neither of the finalists had a stress-free run. Jordan Dean’s greatest threat was in his first match against Mike Parker. Never underestimate the wiliness of an experienced Brit. Mike jumped out to a 2-0 lead before Jordan could get the motor running to full capacity where he then pounded out the next 3 games to win in five. A more comfortable style to counter for Jordan in his second match, and then he wrestled through the quarters and semis in 4 games. His finals opponent would be Matt Wilson. Getting his money’s worth, Matt seems to enjoy the agony of running around a squash court a lot more than is actually necessary. If he could run out the door, up the carpark and back again between shots, he would. Matt had two 5-setters to reach the final – one against Kevin Thomas in the quarters and other against Evan Moore in the semis. Pretty sure fitness played a major role on both accounts. In a bold mind-games move, Jordan skipped out of town for a few days to delay the match for some secret sauce training. “Where?”, you ask… We don’t know. It’s a secret. Did it work? Time will tell, he’s still getting in his final reps. (Jump forward a week and a half...) Jordan was ready. Matt was also ready. Ready to run for another 5 games. The secret training almost worked, but who can stop the Wilson juggernaut? Especially if it goes to 5 - as this did. In typical Wilson fashion, Matt pulled out the 3-2 victory, his 11th straight match (win) that wasn't a straight set victory!

4.0… I had never heard of Sean Abelarde before the DAC Squash Classic. He had been a member for a week, and I was told that he’d probably, maybe, potentially be competitive in the 3.5 division. So in he went, and voila! What do you know! He ended up winning it. Straight into the 4.0 for the club champs, then. That’ll make him sweat, we predicted. Now of course, we all know what happens when one ‘assumes’. Evidently, Sean isn’t too shabby at this thing we call ‘squash’. Another young member popping up on the radar, putting everyone on notice – just wait until he starts taking lessons and actually learns the game! Unfortunately, I didn’t get to see any of his matches, but it appeared that he was relatively untroubled in all of his 3-0 wins. That included the final against John Mann. Okay, okay – I will start to make this tougher for him. Not only will he playing 4.5, he’ll have to do it with a frying pan as a racquet, flippers for squash shoes, and perform a push-up while shouting, “thank you sir, may I have another?” between shots.

4.5… When I started coaching Robbie Biskup just over 3 years ago, he was raw 2.5 (at best). He’s a feel-good story for any coach, and the perfect example of hard work paying off. His effort level and determination is second to none, One day, one fine day, he’ll learn to win in three. Because pretty much every match he plays is a donnybrook for the ages. Of his past 21 matches on Sporty, only four of them were 3-0. Two of his matches in Chicago at the McQueenie Cup were brutal 5-setters. He did win his first round here 3-1 though, a good result against Brian Bartes but since it didn’t go 5 games, Robbie felt a little robbed no doubt. Making up for it, his semifinal against Mark Gregory did go all the way. To add extra pressure, at 1-game each, Robbie found himself 5-10 down in the third. Busting a spleen and kidney to survive, Robbie scraped his way back and pinched the game. It saved him. The match still went to 5, but it wouldn’t have had Mark won the 3^rd. The lack of oxygen caught up with Mark in the 5^th and Robbie lived to see another match – the final. There, he had to deal with the cleverness of Tony DM. Tony moves the ball around a lot. Tony is steady. Tony made Robbie run. Tony likes to wear loud t-shirts and shorts. Robbie ran. And ran. And lunged. And twisted. And hung in there. Robbie admitted afterwards that he never felt like he was in much control and did all he could to keep it close. Once again, that persistence paid off and Robbie fell over the finish line winning it 11-9 in the 5^th!

Matt Paradiso and Iain Prendergast

5.0… Matt Paradiso doesn’t lose very often. He’s another one of these young guys that improves so quickly, just when you think you have him in at the right level for a league, he already outgrowing it 2 weeks later. It’s like dealing with a child in the middle of a growth spurt, but for Matt, that spurt has been continuous for 4 years now. Matt lost the final of the 5.0 last year to David de la Torre, who couldn’t defend his title this year since he’s recovering from an Achilles injury. Here, he earned himself another opportunity to capture his first club championship title by getting to the final dropping only one game. His opponent would be another newcomer to the DAC (not to squash though!) in Iain Prendergast. Since joining at the start of this year, Iain’s only loss has been to Matt. He’s also beaten Matt, and the scuttlebutt on the street was that Iain was the bookies bet for the win. For the record, Iain also dropped just 1 game to reach the final. Hats off to Matt for this one, I must say. He went on with a game plan and for the first 2 games, executed it competently and consistently. They were tough, long rallies, but the strategy was working. The third game, though, was a struggle. Matt was beginning to tire, the racquet was beginning to drop, the feet were beginning to drag. But somehow, he maintained himself within striking distance and at 10-all in the third, a little luck (maybe), an unforced Iain error to boot, Matt nabbed it 12-10. Safe to say, had Iain won the third, we would have had a 5^th game too. The much anticipated final was great to watch. The only downer for the crowd was that it didn’t go longer than three games.

Jed Elley and Stefan Houbtchev

Open… Who can stop the Stefan Houbtchev power train? A plane? A tall building? Superman? Well, until we get a superhero joining the club, we can sit back, relax, and enjoy the Stefan show. Actually, the one thing that did stop Stefan was a micro organism called “Covid” that blocked all passage from his secret lair in Windsor last year. Stefan was surgically clinical during this tournament, giving virtually nothing easy away in any of his matches, including the 3-0 final versus Jed.
But that’s not to say that the category is uninteresting. Match of the draw must go to the Jed v Vikram semifinal. These two are building quite the fascinating rivalry. Prior to this semi, of the 16 recorded matches, Vikram had won 9 of them. Only one of their matches was a 3-0 score line. Curiously, they have played against each other in every club championship since 2016 (in the final), neither of them has won twice in a row. And, based on that trend, since Vikram won their club champs match in 2021, it would be Jed’s turn now. In one of their longest matches no doubt, Vikram took the first 2 games 12-10. It’s always tough to come back from 0-2 down, but Jed grit his teeth, pulled up his big-boy pants, and began the comeback quest one grinding point at a time. It took over an hour, but Jed heaved his aching body over the finish line 11-9 in the 5^th to take the win. But, Stefan is the man of the hour, the man for 2022, the name that will be forever hanging in the great halls of DAC Club Championship honor boards.

All the winners and finalists are now eligible to represent the DAC at the 2023 Farris Cup. Hopefully we can avenge our annihilating capitulation of that event earlier this year with this fine line-up! Always the optimist, I am.

LA CRÈME DE LA DOUBLES CRÈME

2022 DAC Club Championships

It’s like we are back to the good ol’ days. Covid is becoming just a fleeting distant memory and it won’t be long until we’ll be having the conversations and reminiscing… “remember – on pain of death - when we used to have to wear a mask, dress in a hazmat suit and keep a kangaroo’s leap away from any other human to go outside? That was awesome…”  It also brings back to normal the ineptitude of the Detroit Tigers, it’s May and we still have the heating on, my wife’s spring cleaning kick when she calls me at work to discuss if I still need that hand cream that expired 4 years ago or can she throw it away, and of course the DAC Club Championships, the celebratory event that signifies the end of the ‘busy’ season and honoring the conquerors of their respective categories!

Here is Part 1... Doubles…

Manny, Dave, Joe, John

60+… New kids on the block! No. no, not the players themselves, they have been around the block more times than a 5-year-old on a merry-go-round, but the category itself is new. I was delighted to see nine teams register, flaunting their youthful zealousness as if they had all discovered the fountain of youth. None more than the sprightly combination of Manny Tancer and John Roarty.A flawless performance through the entire draw, thwacking away their challenges like a couple of Aussies sitting on the back porch in the middle of summer fly-swatting all the mozzies away. Their opponents in the final were Dave Walker and Joe O’Connor who aren’t exactly push overs either, as they crept over the line in the semifinals against Ted Morris and Shail Arora 3-2. But Manny and John were taking no prisoners and took care of business 15-13; 15-11; 15-10 and awarded themselves with the first ever 60+ Doubles Club Championship title!

C Draw… I bow to the greatness of Renée Fershée! She has been a superstar this season with getting new members involved into the doubles league. She will email you, call you, wine and dine you, and if that doesn’t work, she’ll threaten you, kidnap you and chuck you onto the court and force you. If she could play doubles 25 hours a day 8 days a week, she would. From not even having a C draw last year, we managed 6 teams for 2022, and Renée was instrumental in arranging many of those players. Of course, she was also a victim of her own success since she teamed up the winning squad of Dan Pawlak (her own nephew as well!) and Spencer Roed. Dan and Spencer got to the final beating the DAC’s first ever all female crew of Sam Quilter and Ashley Thibodeau in an all-out 3-2 scrimmage. Word on the street from all involved was it was the best match they had ever played (win or lose). In the final, Renée and her partner Shane Wummel couldn’t quite come up with the goods and they went down 3-0. As expected, this hasn’t dampened Renée’s motivation, in fact it has no doubt stoked the flames… she is still on the warpath and throwing together a posse for the summer league that would have more players than in the winter. Unheard of and awesome!

B Draw… The largest of our doubles draws. Looming large and determined were the pairing of Jordan Dean and Colin Casey.

Jordan Dean and Colin Casey

The bridesmaids in 2021, that loss was still stinging deep into the veins. Like Frodo on a quest to Mordor, anything less than success would signify certain doom to the Colin Casey Shire. They reached the final dropping only one game and were preparing themselves to go into combat against the one and only team that had beaten them in the league since 2020… Mike and Alex Parker. However, Mike and Alex were upset in the semi-final against our tallest ever combined team of Andrew Miller and Will Owen. There aint no lob high enough, aint no crosscourt wide enough, it feels like you’re playing against two Dr. Octvaius’s. Undeterred, and with laser like focus, Colin and Jordan had nothing but eyes on the prize, and nothing – not even the supernatural wingspan of their opponents – was going to deny them victory. It wasn’t without complication or stress. Andrew and Will gave them all they could handle. At 1-game all and 14-14, the sudden death point fell to Colin and Jordan and that turned out to be the pivotal moment. That game loss took the wind out of the Miller / Owen sails and the 4^th was a little easier for the Casey / Dean team. The Shire was saved, Colin will be able to sleep nightmare free once again.

A Draw… A very competitive bracket. The first mega-result was in the first round. Rob Biskup and Robbie Biskup father and son combo went down to the wire against Charles Roby and Dewey “I-can-hear-you-before-I-can-see-you” Steffen. Maybe (maybe not?) a little controversial finish with the ‘let’ call on the do-or-die rally, but Roby and Steffen walked off the 15-14 in the 5^th as the winners. A confidence booster for the pair, they then took down the second seeded team of Dave Walker and Brandon Tasco 3-1. Dave tipped his hat to them and said that they were simply outplayed on the day. The unforeseen semifinal berth was as far as they would get however. Ian Edwards and Matt Paradiso were quietly making their way through the draw and very politely sent Roby / Steffen softly “Boo-Yah-ing” their way back to the locker room after a 3-0 victory. Meeting them in the final – Rich Stimson and John Roarty. The second mega-result for the category. In the semifinal Rich and John had a ding-dong clash against Patrick Petz and Manny Tancer. It what was one of the matches of the season no doubt, and nothing wrong with a little passion thrown into the mix, it was all in good spirits. It’s gut-wrenching to lose so close a match as well, but can be exhilarating winning one. Rich and John lucked out and pinched it 15-14 in the 5^th. An interesting final, it was a good showcase of the importance of playing doubles regularly and not just once year. Stimson / Roarty displayed the needed experience and kept their younger opponents off balance and frustrated. A well earned 3-1 win. This is Rich’s 3^rd doubles club champ title. His first came in 2009.

Open Draw… Probably the most tightly contested Open draw we have had in recent memory. Let’s start with Tom MacEachern and John Mann. Certainly (and no offense to them) not a team that was picked to reach the semifinals. Their run was impressive if not a tad unusual. In both their first 2 rounds, they were deep into the 5^th game when one of their opponents (Max Franklin in round 1 and David de la Torre in round 2) snapped their Achilles tendon. A horrible way to end any match and we send Max and Dave all the best for a full and speedy recovery (as much as an Achilles recovery can be quick!). That being said, not taking anything away from Tom and John, there was every chance they could / would have won anyway. Stopping them in their tracks was Stefan Houbtchev and Ryan Covell. Stefan and Ryan definitely looked like the team to beat in the final – cruise control up until that point. Meeting them there was Robin Basil and Vikram Chopra. No surprise there, but they almost stumbled in the semifinals against JC Tibbitts and Jason Currie. Currie / Tibbitts almost caused an upset as big as when the Australian army in 1932 declared war against an army of emus…. and lost (look that up – it’s actually true). They took Chopra / Basil to the brink only to fall short 15-10 in the 5^th. The final was the first 5-setter we’ve had since 2013. And it was a doozy. Stefan and Ryan were still in cruise control and motored through the first game 15-3 before Robin and Vikram even knew what hit them. But they got their mojo going in the second game and although they didn’t win it (13-15), they felt as if the tide was turning. It was as if Rocky Balboa had finally landed that one punch on that Russian drug cocktail and suddenly the match had a different vibe. The squash was high quality. Hard hitting, hard angles, hard running, hard drinking from the audience… enthralling, exciting, captivating…tasty. Down to the last couple of points in the 5^th game… 13-all… 14-13… Extraordinarily, from 0-2 down, Vikram and Robin completed the most improbable comeback to win 15-13 and with that, they retain the title for another year! Congratulations fellas!

THE BEST 3RD PLACE EVER

McQueenie Cup – Apr 22-23

This was the 10^th running of the McQueenie Cup. We have never won it. We have come close a couple of times, but we are – in reality – our own worst enemy. It has nothing to do with lack of effort, as you will read about below, but it is a numbers game, and it seems every year we just cannot field a full eight-man team. I encourage everyone to chat to any of our representatives to see exactly what they are missing out on. It is definitely worth the effort. Chicago once again were the ultimate hosts, complete with deep dish pizzas, warm but windy weather, rain, awful traffic, and some out-of-control riot involving gangs of teenagers late on Saturday night right outside the club. The full Windy City experience. Perfect! 

Four clubs were involved this year: St. Louis, Toledo, Chicago, and the DAC. St. Louis were also a man down for the singles portion, so their chance of claiming the McQueenie Cup were basically the same as ours: none. As for the doubles portion (named the “Aubrey Cup” after the esteemed DAC Athletic Director, Rex Aubrey), all four clubs had their two teams entered, except for Toledo who for some inexplicable reason confused the number “2” for the number “6” and saturated the draws.

For those of you who have looked inside our trophy cabinet in the court area, the “Aubrey Cup” was the enormous silver piece on the middle shelf that could have housed a small family of pygmies. Our victory in 2019 was perfectly timed since we were able to keep it for 3 years after Covid nixed the past two. With Toledo’s six teams this year, one would think that no one else would stand a chance. However, Toledo doesn’t have a doubles court. (In fact, they really don’t have singles courts either, but their makeshift ones serve them quite well!) With practice lacking, and in some cases, non-existent, Toledo failed to win any doubles matches at all.

We had our chances. Our A team – John Mann and Corey Kabot. (Yes, our ex-assistant squash pro is now a DAC member and wasted no time jumping into the fray!) It was a sketchy start though. The 2-1 loss to the St. Louis team was disappointing. It would have been nice to play one of the Toledo teams first just to shake off the rust off. Getting used to the court would have been helpful since it plays vastly different to ours. Not that the St. Louis team weren’t in the same boat mind you, they simply handled it better. The next two matches went 3-0 for the lads which kept them in the hunt. However, another disheartening 2-1 loss to the Chicago team in their final match did them in. With 2 wins and 2 (close) losses, John and Corey ended up 3^rd. The St. Louis pair swept the category going four for four.

The B draw went one step better for the DAC. Joey Gaylord and Mike Petix. A comfortable first match: 3-0. The second match wasn’t as smooth. Losing the first game, they looked a little lost. Doubles is a game of power and angles. They were basically executing neither. Picking it up for the next 2 games, stronger hitting, better length, better coverage. The 2-1 win put them in for a chance to take the category. The final match was against St. Louis. A veteran team, they read the play well, know the shots. Joey and Mike were not outclassed by any stretch of the imagination, but they simply weren’t consistent enough to take a game. Losing 3-0, St. Louis had won the B draw as well. The Aubrey Cup was headed back to the Gateway of the West. It may fit under the Arch if they are careful. With Mike and Joey’s result, we ended up in second place.

As mentioned earlier, with only 7 (instead of 8) singles players, the chance of wining the McQueenie Cup is not impossible, but it makes it immensely problematic. It would be like trying to win a basketball game with just 4 players. Of course, with our super-stud Stefan Houbtchev leading the charge, he could almost make up for us not having a second A player. Almost. Untroubled, Stefan sliced, diced, chopped, mopped, flicked, nicked, blasted and flabbergasted all that dared step on court with him. His scariest time on court was in the final match when he was 6-10 down in the second game, only to drop maybe 3 more points for the rest of the match. His scariest time off the court was when the beer cooler was empty after his match on Friday.

B draw: Robbie Biskup and Steve Brown. (Yes! The same Steve Brown that moved back to St. Louis a few years ago but kept his DAC membership!) It was grueling for our lads. Robbie’s first match was a tough nut to crack. A nut, that may have been better suited one level up (?). Robbie didn’t play poorly, but anything loose was dealt with effectively and efficiently. It was a 3-0 learning experience. Now that Robbie is stepping up to this standard, he can no longer afford not to be tight enough. His second match was a tad strange. A good hitter, but appeared for the most part not overly interested in running terribly hard. An awkward style to say the least, Robbie has no issue pushing remorselessly to the limit and exhausting himself to the point of flat-lining, The attitude of simply prepared to work harder paid off, and he took a 3-2 victory. In his last match, he bumped into Steve. Donning his U of M polo, Steve clearly hasn’t lost his silky touch. A flick lob here, a deft drop there, a reverse boast just to be cruel… he relies on his accuracy. He does, however, struggle to maintain all of that the longer the match drags out. Just like Robbie, Steve lost his first encounter (3-1) and then won the second (also 3-1) so this match-up was a virtual yin versus yang. Like a couple of Kardashian sisters fighting over a selfie-stick, these two went at it and left it all hanging out. A long 5-setter, combatting the muscle pain, the lungs blazing, Robbie fell over the finish line first. Of course, being from the same team, the result made absolutely zero difference to our overall score. But, they were assassinating themselves for the love of the game. Troopers.

For the C’s, we had the pleasure of the dynamic duo in James Van Dyke and Brian Ellison. Once again, if awards were given out for effort, we’d be drowning in gold medals. These wonder-twins decided to emulate themselves in the first round. Both went to five. And it was here where those of us that haven’t yet shed those Covid pounds made our lads regret some of the dietary choices made in the past 2 years or so.  Brian tried the “point-on-point-off” tactic for a while, but it was to no avail and lamentably faded in the last half of the game. It appeared that James was suffering the same fate but at 5-10 down he mounted the most unlikely comeback to tie it. With all the momentum behind him, and an open court backhand dropshot for a winner to take a 11-10 lead, James instead sent it flying out of court to the back right. The pressure of the situation proved to be his undoing. He was so close, he deserved the win. But, it was a 10-12 loss. He did, though, deserve the beer afterwards. James then redeemed himself for the rest of the weekend to claim the next two matches and finish a respectable 5^th. Brian, for his part, decided to repeat his first round modus operandi and experience déjà vu all over again. Another agonizing 5-set loss in his second match. Then he redeemed himself. He took the final match 3-1.

Will Markley took to the courts for us in the D’s. Now, here is a kid with potential. If only I was that fast… and fit… and light… and smiling… and just an all-round nice guy all the time… What he does need, however, is some coaching. A little structure to his game will go a long, long way. Being athletic (and friendly!) only gets you so far on a squash court. Especially when you come up against some very experienced opponents. Although Will did not win any of the matches, he improved with every outing. He was definitely very unlucky in his second match when he was 0-2 down and deep in the 3^rd set tie-break. It went On. For. Ever. Superbly entertaining, his opponent was seeing little birdies flying laps around his own head. Will never stopped running. Unfortunately, he lost it 19-21, but had he pinched the game, his opponent admitted that he was ruined. He could hardly walk straight. Mike Petix was our second representative and hats off to Mike for stepping up last minute to play singles on top of the doubles after a last minute cancellation. He wasn’t in singles shape, and even though he was rusty in his first match, he still managed the 3-0 win. The rustiness hadn’t completely vanished for his second match and the young whipper-snapper from Toledo had just a few too many retrievals for Mike’s liking. The third encounter went pretty much the same as the second, but a 4^th place finish was a decent effort.

So, as mentioned above, 7 players just doesn’t cut it. At the end of play on Friday, we had lost 5 of the 7 first round matches and were already out of contention. We do get an A++ for effort though. Here were the final scores:

1^st: U Club of Chicago – 144 points

2^nd: Toledo – 140

3^rd: DAC – 100

4^th: St. Louis – 86

(left to right) Joey Gaylord, Steve Brown, James Van Dyke,
Corey Kabot, Brian Ellison, John Mann, Robbie Biskup,
Mike Petix, Will Markley, Stefan Houbtchev

For the 10^th straight year, we have failed not only to win the Cup, but to actually finish ahead of Toledo. But, we are nothing if not persistent. We’ll get ‘em next year… Where, we aren’t too sure yet. It may be St. Louis, it may even be us hosting, although Chicago is a fun place to go…

Special mention to Yoni Ellous – the U Club squash pro for his efforts putting up with all the hooligans visiting his beautiful club. We know we are all a handful to deal with. And of course, a huge thank you to the DAC team. We had a great weekend on and off the court. Saturday night will stick in my mind for quite a while after entering an uppity night club called “Tao” … which if you looked up the definition of “Tao”, it had something to do with ‘harmony in the natural order’ and something, something, something about philosophical religion of Taoism… obviously concepts way beyond my mere mortal abilities of comprehension. Anyhoo, the “Tao” nightclub is anything but a “harmony of natural order” with it’s “Mmmpph, mmph, mmph, mmph” beat of techno music that rattles the deepest of bones at a volume that bleeds eardrums, the laser and strobe lights that would undoubtedly give you a seizure and send you into a catatonic state, and the cost of drinks that would fly me to Australia and back in first class. Of course, I was probably the oldest patron in the building as well, so like Lizzo’s wearing that outfit as she was boarding that plane… I didn’t exactly fit in.

Here's to an 8-man team next time… Cheers!

HOWE THE BLITZ WAS WON

Blitz Tournament - March 25, 2022 

A rally here, a point there... a mis-hit… a lucky framer… an easy unforced error… a fortunate bounce… an unfortunate bounce… a beer too many… a beer too few…? Just a handful of many factors that could / would change the outlook of a Blitz Tournament. An event where - by design - matches very often come done to the last couple of rallies, the desired scenario of that all-encompassing and exciting “sudden-death” rally!

Desperation often takes over. As does panic… and nerves… the overthinking… in some cases, the underthinking… the what-ifs… the “Oh-no’s!” … peer pressure… the nefariousness of these handicaps (as is typical, the first complaint of the handicap came even before the first ball was struck!) … the call of the keg begging to be consumed (“Paaa-uuul… driiiiink me…!!”) It is interesting the added stresses when a player is starting off a game either (up to) 13 points in the rears, or even that far ahead. Mind games. It’s borderline cruel. (“Muwahahaha!!”)

With 20 players, they were split into 4 groups of 5 players each. In the first group, it paid off to be fashionably late. Both Iain Prendergast and Schuyler Hamill made their entrance well past the start time and had to make up matches quickly. Iain took it all in stride, he lets his squash racquet do all the talking. A recent welcome addition to the DAC squash family, Iain is one of our top players and it appears there isn’t much that ruffles his feathers. As cool as the other side of the pillow, he systematically chopped through just about all 4 of his opponents. He lost only 2 rallies in three of the matches, but strangely stumbled against Schuyler losing 15-8 - Schuyler started with 11. Not that it made a difference to the results - both Schuyler and Iain advanced to the knock-out rounds anyway.

Group 2 was a toss up. Seven of the 10 matches were either 15-14 or 15-13. Every player in this group experienced at least one sudden-death point and won at least one match. This is where if we had just one different outcome in one of those matches, the winner of this tournament could have been someone else.  The two players that advanced int this group - Tom Howe and Alex Parker  - both won 2 matches 15-14. Alex actually ended up undefeated, not something I was expecting. It has been a while since I have seen him play, he has improved - where he picked up his backhand-volley-straight-drop half an inch above the tin and kissing the wall is a mystery! He needs to teach me.

Group 3 was also a competitive bunch. Once again, every player picked up at least one win. There were only 2 matches that ended up 15-14. Robbie Biskup picked up three wins and in doing so managed to blow out one of his squash shoes. Luckily for Robbie, we had some shoes in the pro shop that fit him - a rarity these days since the hardest item to find in the squash world are shoes - so Robbie was able to continue into the knock-out rounds without having to run around in socks. Mike Parker also advanced with three wins as well, his one loss was to rookie Brian Weitzel 15-13. Special mention to DJ Boyd in this group. He has been struggling to get on court over the past year or so with a persistent knee injury. It was great to see him back on court and getting involved again!

Group 4. Clear winner here - Henry Gembis. He went 4 for 4 in his matches, and is turning out to be a little thorn in my handicapping side. Once again, Henry refuses to acknowledge or respect the handicaps that I apply and swats them away with a subtle look of disdain - just like the look I get when my wife tells me we are having couscous for dinner. There were four matches that suffered through a sudden-death rally, Mike Jenkins won 2 of them, Viveka Mishra and Henry the other two. Jon Diewald lost two of them, and of course had he won them, he may have been in the finals. As it turned out, three players ended up with 2 wins and we were forced to rely on pure chance to see who would advance… the dreaded drawing of the straws! A 33% chance, Mike was very gentlemanly to allow Viveka to draw first. Not that it helped her. Whammy. Mike drew next and struck gold. His delight was short lived however - he had to play Iain in the first round of the finals.

Making up the handicaps now as we go along, the knock-out finals does turn out to be a drain on the fitness. Even though it’s just 1 game per match, once we stretch out into the 5th game and beyond, the legs and lungs start to protest. Naturally, the one (or two.. or let’s be honest 3+) beers that have been consumed by now aren’t exactly helping.

Henry Gembis once again didn’t care two hoots about the 8 points I gave him against Robbie Biskup, nor that Robbie had to break in his new pair of Stellar ‘Redback’ Squash Shoes (cool name). Thanks for coming, 15-9, is that all you have? He was taunting me.

Next in line for Henry was Schuyler Hamill. Schuyler, with a 9 point head start, did very well to eliminate the dark horse Alex Parker 15-11 in his quarter final. I had both players starting at scratch for this one. I figure that Henry cannot possibly make a mockery of a handicap that isn’t even there, right? Wrong. He’s an evil genius! Henry scored the 15-10 win and advanced to the final.

Henry Gembis and Tom Howe

The other side of the finals draw had Iain Prendergast take out Mike Jenkins 15-11 in the quarter final where he then met up with Tom Howe. Tom, for his part, squeaked past Mike Parker 15-13, a tough win in reality since Mike started with 10 and picked up a quick couple of points early on to really ramp up the pressure. Iain and Tom put on some great squash for the crowd. Tom’s seven point head start did turn out to be too big a hurdle to climb for Iain, he did close the gap by a couple of points but he needed the game to stretch a further than 15 if he was eventually going to catch up. Tom 15-10.

An exciting final. Henry v Tom. I gave Henry 9 points handicap wishing - praying - imploring - in fact genuflecting - for a close result. “Don’t make me look bad, don’t make me look bad…” Phew. I was saved. It did end up coming down to the last few rallies. Tom was catching up quickly, but the occasional point to Henry kept the pressure on just enough to cause significant tension. All the way to 13-all. Henry almost caused the upset, but Tom was simply too steady in the end. 15-13. Tom Howe takes his first Blitz Tournament title - winning 6 of 7 games, 2 of them 15-14, 3 of them 15-13. Henry for his part gets to the podium for the first time as well. Iain ended up winning the 3rd / 4th play-off. It was terrific to see many new faces to the event - let’s hope that trend continues!

BOASTERS BOSS IS FOSS NATION

 

Boasters League finals~~ 

Can you believe it? It’s the end of the league season! 21 weeks of battling it out, and it all comes down to one evening in March. Well, actually, that ‘one’ evening turned into an entire week as most of the matches were rearranged, spread out over 7 days. Only 6 of the 16 matches were played on the scheduled day which was somewhat disappointing since it does take away from the atmosphere that could have been.

Only three subs were needed overall which is not too bad, and each team collected 10 bonus points, which although for the final is very low, makes sure that the overall winner is determined on the squash court rather than who simply rocked up.

The first result came in on Monday. Evan Moore kicked off the Foss Nation campaign with a 2-1 win over Haytham Hermiz. Both Evan and Haytham are scramblers, I can only imagine the amount of running that was achieved in these three games. Evan has only been recording results since end of May last year, and this was his first match against Haytham.

Next in line was Tony Sorgi (Foss Nation) and Andrew Miller (Winky-Dinks) This would be their third meeting with so far one win each. Tony has been on quite the streak lately, winning 10 of his past 11 matches – a lot to do with his consistent lessons with Stu I’m sure – and he kept his streak alive here with a 3-0 victory. We were 2 matches in, and Foss Nation had already opened up a 4 point lead – a buffer that isn’t all that comfortable but would turn out to be consistent.

Two more off-setting scores were entered before Wednesday with each team taking a 3-0 win, allowing Foss Nation to preserve their margin. That lead fluctuated through the official league evening. A couple more 3-0 wins increased the lead to 9 at one point but Winky-Dinks did edge themselves back into contention with Will Owen picking up all of his 3 games against JB Peabody (an opponent he lost 1-2 to in December) and Matt Paradiso taking 2 of 3 games from JC Tibbitts who was subbing for the injured Dane Fossee. By the time Thursday morning rolled around, with 6 matches to play, Foss Nation was still 4 points ahead.

On Thursday, Nick Petcoff (Foss Nation) further helped out his team with a 2-1 victory over Landon Lefler. Nick has also been on quite the run, now winning 9 of his past 10 matches. It was now getting tight for Winky-Dinks. Five points to make up, five matches to play.

A little salvation though for the Winky-Dinks! Bert Donovan closed the gap taking all three games from Jonas Rodger who was kind enough to be subbing for the injured Robert Welch. It was now a 2 point difference and suddenly a very uncomfortable lead for Foss Nation. However, that 3-0 was immediately countered. Iain Prendergast has only lost one match since joining the league in January and he wasn’t about to change that stat on this occasion. His 3-0 win reinstated the 5 point lead once again, but now there was only 3 matches left.

It was possible now for Foss Nation to lock in the win with one more positive result. Standing in their way was Winky-Dink Sandy Selinger having to take on a tough opponent in Shail Arora. These two had played twice before in boasters league, both taking a 2-1 win. The first game was all Sandy – he rolled it 15-5. It was the wake-up call Shail apparently needed and with renewed focus he steadied himself, found his line and length and managed to take the next 2 games. And with that, Foss Nation had achieved their first Boasters League title! With 2 matches to go, they now had a 6 point lead. But even if Winky-Dinks were to win those 2 matches 3-0 and even up the points, the tie break would fall to the team with the most bonus points – which as mentioned above is also tied – so the second tie-break would be the team with the most wins on the day and Foss Nation already had nine of the 16 – an unassailable advantage.

The final two matches were completed over the weekend and Foss Nation cemented the win with Joe Schmidt picking up his team’s 10^th win. The final score: 37-31! Congratulations!

For the record, I picked Winky-Dinks to win last week. Clearly, my predictions are turning into the “kiss of death” but of course that won’t deter me from continuing to do it! I will try to learn from my misdeeds and improve my divination techniques next season… maybe go into witchcraft… or voodoo… black magic…? Can’t be any worse I guess!

WINKY-DINKS IN CHARGE

 Boasters League semifinals~~

The business end of the season. All the work during the season comes down to just a couple of matches in March. Of course, there is the added pressure – whether the players realize it or not – of my foretelling which tends to spray undetectable pixie dust randomly into the atmosphere and seems to demonstrate week after week that I’m utterly dysfunctional at it. This time, I got one right and one very, very, wrong.

We had six subs this week. For the league finals, this actually causes me the most stress. While they are unavoidable, finding the just the right level of sub is not easy. So far, the subs have a pretty good winning record if you count the quarterfinals as well, which depending on who they are subbing for isn’t a negative thing. But every now and then, I get it wrong. I’d like to apologize to Bert Donovan (Winky-Dinks) since the sub I arranged to play against him was a lot stronger than the player he was replacing. Definitely an oversight on my part, a momentary episode of carelessness…

Winky-Dinks v Vivio’s

True to form, the top teams always seem to accumulate bonus points. Winky-Dinks almost swept the table on Wednesday collecting 15 of 16, four more than Vivio’s, which is significant. First match of the evening we saw Henry Gembis (Vivio’s) and Will Owen (Winky-Dinks). Henry got off to a textbook start, building an early and considerable lead in the first game. It took Will a little time to find his feet and although he crawled back to even the score later on, it was tough to keep that run going and Henry managed to finish him off. However, Will had gained some confidence and took control for the rest of the contest. A 2-1 win for Winky-Dinks, and the catalyst for the rest of their team.

The wins kept coming. Sandy Selinger, Matt Paradiso, Vikram Chopra, Colin Casey…  none of these were upsets, but were extending the lead at a steady pace – and keeping in mind the bonus point advantage – Vivio’s task was becoming more daunting with every passing match. A little success for Vivio’s came after Alex Parker took a 2-1 win over Matt Wilson and then Brian Schrage also picked up a 2-1 victory over Glen Milligan, but Vivio’s couldn’t afford to lose any games at all, and this was slipping out of reach rapidly.  

Winky-Dinks captain Justin Winkelman was the final result to come that evening and his 3-0 win sealed the deal. It’s not often the result is settled with 4 results still to play (three of them were still completed on Thursday), Vivio’s was toast. It was an unassailable lead, even if Vivio’s would have managed to win all of those matches 3-0.

The final score: 42-29. Of course, last week I picked Vivio’s to win. Couldn’t have been more incorrect. Par for the course I guess.

Mongoose v Foss Nation

Down to the last match – again! Mongoose captain Paul Huth was on the prowl making sure his players – on pain of death - were turning up for their bonus points. They collected 3 more than Foss Nation, and those extra 3 points kept Mongoose in the hunt all the way. As close as the scores stayed between the teams, only 6 of the 16 matches were played on the Wednesday – 9 of them were completed early. There were eight 2-1 results and surprisingly, Foss Nation won 7 of them. The most notably was captain Dane Fossee who took down one of his Achilles heels in Greg Allare 2-1. Talk about winning when it counts. It was Dane’s first official recorded win over Greg… ever.

Mongoose did record one more 3-0 win than Foss Nation though, which was noteworthy considering they had only won 5 matches overall. With the bonus point advantage, at the end of play Wednesday, the scores were tied 33 apiece. It was coming down to the final match which was to be played at 6.45am on Friday: Mack Gembis (Mongoose) v Iain Prendergast (Foss Nation). No pressure fellas!

Iain is new to the DAC – he came on board this year – so he doesn’t have a lot of match history to go by. He and Mack have one result – with Iain taking a 2-1 win back in January. So this could go either way. My presumption was that the match was nothing short of legendary, a match where both players equally deserved to be the winner, a match that we all wish we could have witnessed. It was also a match that Iain won 3-0 and with it, advanced his team to the final!

Foss Nation take the victory 36-33! Keep in mind I actually picked this one last week. I think the ‘blind squirrel’ tactic is more successful for me!

The final next week! Winky-Dinks v Foss Nation. These 2 teams met in the final round of the season. Only 8 matches were played, each team won 4 of them, Winky-Dinks picked up 4 more bonus points (no surprise there!), and therefore ruled the day 21-19. So it was close, but 8 matches not played is a lot. Unfazed by my completely woeful record of being a clairvoyant, I once again gaze into the stars with a look of reverence, pretend to know what I’m on about, and announce that the winner of this year’s Boasters League will be… Winky-Dinks!

FOSS NATION DOMINATION

Boasters League quarter finals~~

Activity a plenty! The buzz of league finals makes it one of the more enjoyable evenings of the season. It never ceases to amaze me how everyone (most!) players are suddenly available to play on Wednesday, whereas during the regular season, it’s feels like pulling teeth to arrange the matches. I guess it is something to discuss with the captains over the summer: how to encourage regular participation from October onwards, not just March onwards.

Good news is that the quarter finals were decided on the court. Meaning, that most of the matches were completed. We aren’t left wondering about different outcomes (the could-haves!) because half a dozen contests didn’t manage to play. My crystal ball prophecies from last week once again prove that I have utterly no idea about such witchcraft. If I forecast that the sun would rise tomorrow morning – it wouldn’t. So I won’t.

Foss Nation v Butter Nutz

The first result to come in was 14-15; 15-12; 15-14. Brian Rassel (Foss Nation) squeaked past Ryan Covell (Butter Nutz) in what clearly was an epic encounter, worthy of a separate paragraph, photos and interviews, but since no one witnessed this blockbuster, we can only imagine the level to which these two performed. It also set the tone for this quarter final – Foss Nation never looked back.

The rout was on early. Greg Jones, Spencer Roed, Joe Schmidt and Iain Prendergast all recorded 3-0 wins and the only scoring that Butter Nutz could manage at this stage was their bonus points. However, no amount of bonus points were going to make up for this large deficit- they desperately needed some wins.

Mike Jenkins was the first winner of the night for the Butter Nutz. After losing game one to Shail Arora, he steadied the ship to roll out the next two. Scott Beals also took two of three games from John Roarty, and follow that up with another 2-1 win for John Perkins, the outlook was improving, but too slowly. Butter Nutz needed 3-0 victories. And fast.

Jack Bernard heard the frantic calls and stepped up to record the first straight sets victory for their team to give them just a glimmer of hope, They were mathematically still in it but the margin of error was decreasing with each passing match. And the glimmer of hope faded shortly thereafter.

Foss Nation’s Matt Buslepp was having none of it. Determined to stop any more talk or thought of a comeback, he took down Gordie Maitland 3-0. Tony Sorgi then picked up a game from Matt Moore, followed up by Matt’s identical clone Evan, who dampened the hefty cries of “Boo-Yah!” from Dewey Steffen with his 3-0 takedown, and suddenly Foss Nation could start thinking about next week. It was over.

A dominating performance, Foss Nation are looking like a tough opponent. Overall score: 43-29. My prediction last week: “Foss Nation by a hair.” I was right about the winner here, but waaay wrong about the hair! 

Vivio’s v Cadiuex Café

Motivated by my audacious announcement last week that Cadieux Café would be struggling to compete against Vivio’s, Patrick Petz inspired his team to greater heights. Determined to make me look like a babbling ignoramus (not that difficult apparently!), Cadieux Café gave Vivio’s everything they could handle. From start to finish, there was never more than a 3 point margin between the two teams, and the lead changed numerous times over the course of the evening.

Subs would play a part in these results. We needed five, found four, and three of them won. We had one forfeit for each team as well. Surprisingly, Vivio’s only managed 8 bonus points, which for a final is worryingly low. Cadieux Café picked up 11. Would it be the difference? It certainly helped to keep it close. 

The two teams traded wins all week long. A Mark Gregory (Cadieux Café) 2-1 win would be quickly countered with a Rich Stimson (Vivio’s) 2-1 win as well. And back and forth it went. Only 6 of the matches were played on Wednesday – eight of them were re-arranged (2 were not played), so by the time Thursday morning rolled around, no one really had any clue where the teams stood! We would have to wait until Friday morning to find out the final victor here. And it would come down to the number 2’s: Blake Ellis (Cadieux Café) v Derek Aguirre (Vivio’s).

Every match is important of course, but the fact that this one will make or break the season, the pressure was on, the focus intense. In round 6, Derek beat Blake 3-0. In fact, Derek has a solid record against Blake winning ten of their recorded twelve matches. But they haven’t played a lot in recent times. Outside of round 6, the last result was in February of 2020 and, notably, Blake actually won that encounter. Could he go against the trend again? Ummm, no, he could not. Derek seems to be in form and did not concede a game – a good move for his team because if he had done so, Vivio’s would have lost the day. I know there will be some mutterings and mumblings about this overall result: Vivio’s 32 - Cadieux Café – 31. I did predict a Vivio’s win here, but not one that came down to the wire. I got my ‘hairs’ crossed last week!

Onto the semifinals! First we have Foss Nation v Mongoose. Their round 4 meeting was close – 28-26 in favor of Mongoose. Twelve of the 16 matches were completed, Mongoose won 7 of them, only four of those were 3-0, and both teams picked up the same amount of bonus points. So it should be tight again, right? Well, one would think that from last week’s pathetic attempt of being a soothsayer, I would pack up my tea leaves and exit the building, but obviously I don’t learn from my own nitwittedness so here goes… the winner will be… and the team I therefore condemn …Foss Nation!

The other semifinal is Winky-Dinks v Vivio’s. They met way back in round 2, and Vivio’s pulled out the win 32-29. All but one match was played, only 4 of those results were 3-0, Vivio’s won 9 of the 15 matches both teams picked up the same amount of bonus points. Another anyone-can-win scenario it seems. In the spirit of keeping up with my shameless divinations, my tarot cards for this contest are telling me… to stop trying to predict results… not to complain about the broccoli in my dinner tonight… and that Vivio’s will be in the final!

NEVER IN DOUBT FOR MONGOOSE

Boasters League final round~~

During the entire second half of the season, for some reason it appeared to be a struggle to get the boosters matches played. And I found that strange because overall court usage has been particularly healthy. So people are playing… but just not their league matches? In either case, the last couple of weeks were an improvement on the first 7, however as you will see below, the stats are still somewhat unsightly.

The fact that Mongoose ended up on top should not be a surprise to anyone – comparatively speaking to other seasons, their stats aren’t off the charts by any means, they are simply better than the rest of the teams. Conversely, Nicker Ballers position shouldn’t be a shock either. The top six teams that are advancing to the play-offs were pretty much set weeks ago.

Biggest push of the last round came from Winky-Dinks with 47 points which was an important effort as they were chasing down Vivio’s for the coveted second spot on the standings. Their endeavors paid off as they overtook Rich Stimson’s team in the last few hours to grab that spot and be rewarded with a first-round pass in the finals.

Here are the stats for the half. They aren’t pretty…

·         Overall, 60% of matches were completed. Yeah, that’s very low. Up until the start of round 9, we were sitting under 50%. We had 72.5% of matches in the first half.

·         Mongoose won the half with 217 points. In 2019 second half (the last pre-Covid season) that would have been good enough for only 4^th. For the first half this season – 6^th.

·         Mongoose not only played the most amount of matches (66%), they also has the most bonus points by a wide margin – 79. The next best? Winky-Dinks with 63.

·         Two other teams also played 66% of their matches: Winky-Dinks and Butter Nutz.

·         Overall, 60% of the results were 2-1. This is my favorite stat – shows the competitiveness

·         Least amount of matches goes to Nicker Ballers with 50%.

·         Nicker Ballers also had the least amount of bonus points – by far. Only 29. The most players that turned up for them in any given week was 5. If they picked up as many bonus points as Mongoose, they would be in the play-offs.

·         Only 4 players picked up all 8 bonus points. And an amazing 14 players didn’t pick up any.

·         Vivio’s had the best winning percentage with 64%. Wardogs the lowest with 29%.

·         Winky-Dinks won the most 3-0 matches with 20.

·         Only 8 players played all 8 matches. None of the 8 went undefeated. (We had 27 players in the first half that played all 8 matches.)

·         Matt Paradiso (Winky-Dinks) picked up the most number of points for the half with 25.

·         Most points picked up in any one round is 39 by Vivio’s in round 3. Least amount of points was 10 – achieved by Nicker Ballers in round 1 (!).

·         All 16 matches in one round were not completed once. 15 matches were completed just once.

·         Most matches completed in any one round was 79.7% in round 2. Very low.

The quarter finals are upon us! The matches should be an interesting affair:

Vivio’s v Cadieux Café. Nothing like matching up Captains Rich Stimson and Patrick Petz for some friendly trash-talking! These 2 teams met in round 6 – one day before the start of the DAC Classic. Only 8 matches were completed, so it’s difficult to tell from only 50% of the results who the favorite should be here, but on that day, Vivio’s ruled the roost with a comprehensive 25 to 13 win. In fact, Vivio’s won 7 of those 8 matches. I guess it’s not too much of a stretch to predict that Cadieux Café will be in for a tough week.

The other quarter final we see Foss Nation tackling Butter Nutz. Their round 5 meeting was a lot closer: 24-23 to Butter Nutz. They played 13 of those matches and although Foss Nation won 8 of them, they strangely still lost. Bonus points were scarce that day as it was the evening of a big snow storm that kept all sane people at home. This one is a complete toss-up. But, as always, I’ll chuck some pressure on somebody here anyway and forecast a victory by a hair for… Foss Nation. (I’ve probably just doomed their chances!)