Wednesday, April 27, 2022

THE BEST 3RD PLACE EVER

McQueenie Cup – Apr 22-23

This was the 10th running of the McQueenie Cup. We have never won it. We have come close a couple of times, but we are – in reality – our own worst enemy. It has nothing to do with lack of effort, as you will read about below, but it is a numbers game, and it seems every year we just cannot field a full eight-man team. I encourage everyone to chat to any of our representatives to see exactly what they are missing out on. It is definitely worth the effort. Chicago once again were the ultimate hosts, complete with deep dish pizzas, warm but windy weather, rain, awful traffic, and some out-of-control riot involving gangs of teenagers late on Saturday night right outside the club. The full Windy City experience. Perfect! 

Four clubs were involved this year: St. Louis, Toledo, Chicago, and the DAC. St. Louis were also a man down for the singles portion, so their chance of claiming the McQueenie Cup were basically the same as ours: none. As for the doubles portion (named the “Aubrey Cup” after the esteemed DAC Athletic Director, Rex Aubrey), all four clubs had their two teams entered, except for Toledo who for some inexplicable reason confused the number “2” for the number “6” and saturated the draws.

For those of you who have looked inside our trophy cabinet in the court area, the “Aubrey Cup” was the enormous silver piece on the middle shelf that could have housed a small family of pygmies. Our victory in 2019 was perfectly timed since we were able to keep it for 3 years after Covid nixed the past two. With Toledo’s six teams this year, one would think that no one else would stand a chance. However, Toledo doesn’t have a doubles court. (In fact, they really don’t have singles courts either, but their makeshift ones serve them quite well!) With practice lacking, and in some cases, non-existent, Toledo failed to win any doubles matches at all.

We had our chances. Our A team – John Mann and Corey Kabot. (Yes, our ex-assistant squash pro is now a DAC member and wasted no time jumping into the fray!) It was a sketchy start though. The 2-1 loss to the St. Louis team was disappointing. It would have been nice to play one of the Toledo teams first just to shake off the rust off. Getting used to the court would have been helpful since it plays vastly different to ours. Not that the St. Louis team weren’t in the same boat mind you, they simply handled it better. The next two matches went 3-0 for the lads which kept them in the hunt. However, another disheartening 2-1 loss to the Chicago team in their final match did them in. With 2 wins and 2 (close) losses, John and Corey ended up 3rd. The St. Louis pair swept the category going four for four.

The B draw went one step better for the DAC. Joey Gaylord and Mike Petix. A comfortable first match: 3-0. The second match wasn’t as smooth. Losing the first game, they looked a little lost. Doubles is a game of power and angles. They were basically executing neither. Picking it up for the next 2 games, stronger hitting, better length, better coverage. The 2-1 win put them in for a chance to take the category. The final match was against St. Louis. A veteran team, they read the play well, know the shots. Joey and Mike were not outclassed by any stretch of the imagination, but they simply weren’t consistent enough to take a game. Losing 3-0, St. Louis had won the B draw as well. The Aubrey Cup was headed back to the Gateway of the West. It may fit under the Arch if they are careful. With Mike and Joey’s result, we ended up in second place.

As mentioned earlier, with only 7 (instead of 8) singles players, the chance of wining the McQueenie Cup is not impossible, but it makes it immensely problematic. It would be like trying to win a basketball game with just 4 players. Of course, with our super-stud Stefan Houbtchev leading the charge, he could almost make up for us not having a second A player. Almost. Untroubled, Stefan sliced, diced, chopped, mopped, flicked, nicked, blasted and flabbergasted all that dared step on court with him. His scariest time on court was in the final match when he was 6-10 down in the second game, only to drop maybe 3 more points for the rest of the match. His scariest time off the court was when the beer cooler was empty after his match on Friday.

B draw: Robbie Biskup and Steve Brown. (Yes! The same Steve Brown that moved back to St. Louis a few years ago but kept his DAC membership!) It was grueling for our lads. Robbie’s first match was a tough nut to crack. A nut, that may have been better suited one level up (?). Robbie didn’t play poorly, but anything loose was dealt with effectively and efficiently. It was a 3-0 learning experience. Now that Robbie is stepping up to this standard, he can no longer afford not to be tight enough. His second match was a tad strange. A good hitter, but appeared for the most part not overly interested in running terribly hard. An awkward style to say the least, Robbie has no issue pushing remorselessly to the limit and exhausting himself to the point of flat-lining, The attitude of simply prepared to work harder paid off, and he took a 3-2 victory. In his last match, he bumped into Steve. Donning his U of M polo, Steve clearly hasn’t lost his silky touch. A flick lob here, a deft drop there, a reverse boast just to be cruel… he relies on his accuracy. He does, however, struggle to maintain all of that the longer the match drags out. Just like Robbie, Steve lost his first encounter (3-1) and then won the second (also 3-1) so this match-up was a virtual yin versus yang. Like a couple of Kardashian sisters fighting over a selfie-stick, these two went at it and left it all hanging out. A long 5-setter, combatting the muscle pain, the lungs blazing, Robbie fell over the finish line first. Of course, being from the same team, the result made absolutely zero difference to our overall score. But, they were assassinating themselves for the love of the game. Troopers.

For the C’s, we had the pleasure of the dynamic duo in James Van Dyke and Brian Ellison. Once again, if awards were given out for effort, we’d be drowning in gold medals. These wonder-twins decided to emulate themselves in the first round. Both went to five. And it was here where those of us that haven’t yet shed those Covid pounds made our lads regret some of the dietary choices made in the past 2 years or so.  Brian tried the “point-on-point-off” tactic for a while, but it was to no avail and lamentably faded in the last half of the game. It appeared that James was suffering the same fate but at 5-10 down he mounted the most unlikely comeback to tie it. With all the momentum behind him, and an open court backhand dropshot for a winner to take a 11-10 lead, James instead sent it flying out of court to the back right. The pressure of the situation proved to be his undoing. He was so close, he deserved the win. But, it was a 10-12 loss. He did, though, deserve the beer afterwards. James then redeemed himself for the rest of the weekend to claim the next two matches and finish a respectable 5th. Brian, for his part, decided to repeat his first round modus operandi and experience déjà vu all over again. Another agonizing 5-set loss in his second match. Then he redeemed himself. He took the final match 3-1.

Will Markley took to the courts for us in the D’s. Now, here is a kid with potential. If only I was that fast… and fit… and light… and smiling… and just an all-round nice guy all the time… What he does need, however, is some coaching. A little structure to his game will go a long, long way. Being athletic (and friendly!) only gets you so far on a squash court. Especially when you come up against some very experienced opponents. Although Will did not win any of the matches, he improved with every outing. He was definitely very unlucky in his second match when he was 0-2 down and deep in the 3rd set tie-break. It went On. For. Ever. Superbly entertaining, his opponent was seeing little birdies flying laps around his own head. Will never stopped running. Unfortunately, he lost it 19-21, but had he pinched the game, his opponent admitted that he was ruined. He could hardly walk straight. Mike Petix was our second representative and hats off to Mike for stepping up last minute to play singles on top of the doubles after a last minute cancellation. He wasn’t in singles shape, and even though he was rusty in his first match, he still managed the 3-0 win. The rustiness hadn’t completely vanished for his second match and the young whipper-snapper from Toledo had just a few too many retrievals for Mike’s liking. The third encounter went pretty much the same as the second, but a 4th place finish was a decent effort.

So, as mentioned above, 7 players just doesn’t cut it. At the end of play on Friday, we had lost 5 of the 7 first round matches and were already out of contention. We do get an A++ for effort though. Here were the final scores:

1st: U Club of Chicago – 144 points

2nd: Toledo – 140

3rd: DAC – 100

4th: St. Louis – 86

(left to right) Joey Gaylord, Steve Brown, James Van Dyke,
Corey Kabot, Brian Ellison, John Mann, Robbie Biskup,
Mike Petix, Will Markley, Stefan Houbtchev

For the 10th straight year, we have failed not only to win the Cup, but to actually finish ahead of Toledo. But, we are nothing if not persistent. We’ll get ‘em next year… Where, we aren’t too sure yet. It may be St. Louis, it may even be us hosting, although Chicago is a fun place to go…

Special mention to Yoni Ellous – the U Club squash pro for his efforts putting up with all the hooligans visiting his beautiful club. We know we are all a handful to deal with. And of course, a huge thank you to the DAC team. We had a great weekend on and off the court. Saturday night will stick in my mind for quite a while after entering an uppity night club called “Tao” … which if you looked up the definition of “Tao”, it had something to do with ‘harmony in the natural order’ and something, something, something about philosophical religion of Taoism… obviously concepts way beyond my mere mortal abilities of comprehension. Anyhoo, the “Tao” nightclub is anything but a “harmony of natural order” with it’s “Mmmpph, mmph, mmph, mmph” beat of techno music that rattles the deepest of bones at a volume that bleeds eardrums, the laser and strobe lights that would undoubtedly give you a seizure and send you into a catatonic state, and the cost of drinks that would fly me to Australia and back in first class. Of course, I was probably the oldest patron in the building as well, so like Lizzo’s wearing that outfit as she was boarding that plane… I didn’t exactly fit in.

Here's to an 8-man team next time… Cheers!

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