END OF YEAR CLINICS

Looking for something to do between Christmas and the New Year? Looking to work of all that extra food and wine you will no doubt be indulging yourself into? Looking at some time away from the relatives? Here’s the perfect excuse!!

I will be running a couple of clinics from Monday, December 28 to Wednesday December 30:

Beginner Clinic (level 2.5 and below) 4-5pm
Intermediate Clinic (level 3.0 – 4.0) 5-6pm

Each clinic can have between 2-4 players. Cost per person - $70. The three 1-hour sessions will involve drills and game play with emphasis on strategy.

Registration deadline is Thursday December 24.

DEFENDING CHAMPS HALF SEASON WINNERS

It was… close-ish. A twelve point buffer sounds like a lot, but that can translate into just 4 matches. The “Defending Champs” had a bye going into the final round with a 20 point lead. Second placed “The Trolls” made a strong push to catch them picking up 24 points - which sounds like enough - but the “Defending Champs” had also been playing some make-up matches over the week and managed to keep their noses in front.

Three teams shared third place with 6th placed “Stimulus Package” just 7 points back. Bringing up the rear, like they had been doing all season long, were the “Angry Dragons” and “The Reach Arounds”. Not surprisingly, those two teams also had the worst Wednesday attendance record. The “Angry Dragons” only picked up 37 bonus points, which is a miserable 42% of the possible maximum (league worst), and only 68% of all their matches (second worst). On the other end of the standings, the “Defending Champs” picked up the most bonus points with 57 – 65% of the maximum (league best) and played 81% of their matches (league best). Funny how that always seems to be the case.

Looking at individual performances, Bob Rogers (“Hell’s Kitchen”) scored the most points in the league with 27. Bob also won all of his matches 3-0, and will certainly be moving up for the second half. Picking up 25 points was Chuck Doyle (“The Trolls”) who had a 6-2 record, and Mac Nutter (“Stimulus Package”) with an impressive 7-0 record. Six players (out of 99) share the ‘reliability award’! Leading by example, captains Paul Ward (“Angry Dragons”) and Ken Katz (“The Marauders”) picked up the maximum 8 possible bonus points, meaning they turned up every Wednesday. The other 4 players are Jason Trombley (“The Marauders”) - pictured left, Mark Monaghan (“Defending Champs”), Greg Davis (“The Trolls”) and Chuck Doyle (“The Trolls”).

So, congratulations to the “Defending Champs” – they definitely are deserved first half winners. Of course, I now have to go through everybody’s win / loss record and shuffle the teams around a little, so we’ll see if they can continue to dominate. But, as the statistics always indicate, if you show up and play your matches, you are more likely to be successful… The second half of the season starts on January 6. Don’t get lazy and stay away from the courts for that long! Now is time to practice…

BEER CHALLENGE – CELEBRITY KEG-MATCH!!

What better way to enjoy a Wednesday evening than to play a competitive game of squash, quench your thirst with a cold beer, sit back and relax and watch two of your fellow members go hammer-and-tongs on the court to see who will be paying for the keg you are savoring?

Wednesday, December 16 is the date and matches start at 5pm. Anyone can register (no fee) and I will do my best to match you up against a member of a similar level to your own. You will be placed onto one of two teams, which in the grand scheme of things really doesn’t make a hoot of difference, other than who you will be rooting for in the “celebrity keg-match”!

For the main event we will see…

In the blue corner, weighing in at an estimated 175 pounds, from the back streets of the dangerous Grosse Pointe area, coming in with a record of 6 and 13 (according to the on-line rankings), the “hack-it-with-the-racquet”, the “chopper-of-the-dropper”… PHIL – run-till-you-drop – PITTERS!!!

And…

In the red corner, weighing in at an estimated 200 pounds, from parts unknown and probably unwanted, coming in with a record of 21-6, the “kinger-of-the-swinger”, the “achiever-of-the-retriever”… SCOTT – can’t-possibly-lose-to-Phil – ADLHOCH!!!

Yes, these two best of mates will go head-to-head. Don’t let their records deceive you – with a keg on the line, this could be a very close contest.

If you would like to be a part of this exciting evening of squash and play a match, I need all registrations by Monday, December 14. If you do not want to play, you are more than welcome to come down anyway, and watch, support, and of course – drink!

SHARING THE CHRISTMAS CHEER!

Christmas came a little early for the 17 players in the 6th annual Holiday Tournament. It was a festive atmosphere all around, from Ken MacDonald turning up without actually registering first, to Patrick Petz’s one green squash shoe and one red squash shoe, to the free flowing keg that never seemed to stop pouring, to Rich Stimson’s over-the-top reaction of getting the ‘Joker’ (bye) for his last scheduled match.

We had a number of new faces in this year’s event and a very wide variety of playing levels. The Holiday Tournament is set up to give everybody a chance to step on court with somebody they would normally never play against. It gives the lower ranked guys the perfect chance to experience squash and play a real game – without handicapping - against significantly stronger opposition.

For the first time since I can remember, nobody went through all 4 rounds without dropping at least one game. We also ended up with 3 winners – another first. Paul Van Tol won 7 of the possible 8 games, his one loss coming against Anthony Fracchia who is new to the squash program and will be one to look out for amongst the top levels of the Boasters League when he joins in for the second half. (Anthony also runs triathlons!) Stu Boynton and John Markus went into round 4 undefeated and played the last match of the evening. They ended up splitting one game apiece to both end up with 7 games, equaling Paul Van Tol’s total.

The gift table was again dominated with booze related gifts, but not to the extreme of years past. At least everybody stuck to the rules and kept away from the banned substances list! The jury is still out, but I am considering adding one of this year’s gifts to that list – a bright yellow DAC cotton t-shirt… anyone wearing that will be mistaken for a canary… or a banana…

It was another successful event. And after Greg Davis had finished playing Andy Housey and no one got injured, or maimed, or killed, we can all thank Santa Clause for another Christmas miracle! So drink another beer, be thankful for your health, and get back to work deciding what fantastic and expensive gift you will all buy your squash pro.

Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!!!

KEG WARS!! ***CANCELLED***

***ANNOUNCEMENT***
The Keg Wars will NOT be running. The BAC have informed me that it does not fit into their calendar so have pulled out of the event.
In place of the Keg Wars an in-house will still be running - details will be posted shortly.

It’s time to psyche ourselves up! For nothing is worse than losing to our cross town rivals from the BAC – especially on our home courts!

Wednesday, December 16 is the date for the next KEG WARS. We need singles players (sorry, no doubles) to gear up and go into battle to take down the boys from Birmingham, who, just quietly, strongly believe are better squash players, better drinkers, and are more refined than us… hmmmm… we cannot of course take that lying down!!

Matches / bouts are scheduled to start at 6pm at the DAC. A keg will be provided for all to enjoy. Even if you are not playing, you are more than welcome to come on down and watch the soldiers do battle for the glory of the club… and of course drink and socialize which is what it is really all about!

We will do our best to match you up with a member from the BAC with a similar playing level. Positions will be limited, so be quick to enter. Registration deadline is Friday, December 11.

DEFENDING CHAMPS LOOKING STRONG

Boasters League Round 8-

With one week to play for the first half of the season, The “Defending Champs” are poised to end up at the top of the standings. Although they have to endure their ‘bye’ week for the final round, their 20 point lead may well be more than enough to hold off the second placed “The Trolls”. The teams from 3rd to 7th are closely knitted together with only 7 points separating them as the “Angry Dragons” sit a lonely 8th spot and the cellar dwellers “Reach Arounds” already looking for the second half to start.

It will be a mad scramble as players attempt to get their final matches made up before the December 11 deadline. It is important that everybody plays as much as possible since all the results will be taken into consideration in order to rearrange the teams for the second half. Players will be moved up or down (or kept where they are) based on their win / loss record. Every attempt will be made to keep players on their own team, but that will not always be possible.

So, boasters league players, get on the phone, get on the e-mail, and get your matches done…

BEGINNER SQUASH CLINIC

Do you know someone who wants to try out squash? Here is the perfect setting. Starting on Tuesday, December 8, I am offering a clinic for members who have never played before and would like to get themselves started. Each session is for 1 hour from 6-7pm and runs for 3 consecutive Tuesdays.

Players will learn the rules, basic technique and footwork, and basic game play. Racquets and eye-guards will be provided.

Cost is $55 per person, with a miminum of 3, maximum of 4 players required to run the sessions.

Registration deadline is Thursday, December 3.

SUPPORT YOUR SPORT

It no secret that squash in Michigan is struggling. The travel leagues are hanging on by a thread for its survival, membership is suffering, tournaments are far and few between. When I first arrived 5 years ago, I was aghast at the state of the Michigan Squash Racquets Association (MSRA). There was a complete lack of cohesion, lack of communication, lack of motivation, lack of basically everything needed to successfully promote and manage the sport and my support of the MSRA was, honestly, negligible to say the least.

But, as the ol’ cliché goes, “there is light at the end of the tunnel”. The MSRA’s new president, Hugh Stalker, has injected some much needed energy into the fray. Many new initiatives have been started which include: signing sponsors; establishing a junior program; holding benefit events; providing favorable pricing on equipment; establishing electronic pay; and a much needed revamping of the website.

Of course, at all means diddly-squat without the support of the actual squash players within Michigan. I appeal to each and every one of you to visit the new and improved website at: http://www.michigansquash.org and register yourselves, and sign-up as an MSRA member. Currently, the cost is only $25 per year, but the MSRA needs every penny to grow, promote, and market the sport – your sport - as much as possible. Your support will contribute to everyone’s success.

Clearly, there is a long way to go. The ball has started rolling and your help is required to keep it moving. Presently, the MSRA is not a recognized association in the eyes of the US Squash Association, (for reasons I will not divulge here) which is, I believe, a great pity. However, Hugh Stalker and the MSRA definitely see the importance and advantage of being a recognized association and doing just that is unquestionably one of the goals. It will, though, take a little time, and patience is required before the things in the MSRA are functioning suitably, properly, and efficiently.

While preaching the importance of support, let’s not forget about US Squash itself. You can visit the US Squash website at http://www.ussquash.com/ (also recently overhauled) for all the squash information nationwide. Signing-up as a US Squash member actually includes membership to the MSRA, and of course comes with added benefits which are too numerous to list here. It is certainly worth the money, and your much appreciated membership fees travel even further and help out not only Michigan Squash, but American Squash. We would all be better off.

DEFENDING CHAMPS CREEP AHEAD

Boasters League Round 7 –

The league leading “Defending Champs” increased their lead over second place “The Trolls” as they went head-to-head with them in week 7. It wasn’t exactly a league night bumbling with match activity; in fact the attendance level was the lowest seen all season. In the top of the ladder battle, five of the eleven matches have so far been completed, and the “Defending Champs” have won 4 of them and they collected 2 more bonus points. Their lead now stands at 8 points, which is only going to increase since “The Trolls” have their bye week coming up in week 8.

Things in the middle of the standings have tightened up considerably. Only 2 points separate 3rd from 6th, with the “Marauders” and “Duck or Bleed” (who played each other this week) gaining ground on “Stimulus Package” and “Hell’s Kitchen” but overall these four teams are slipping further back from the top two. Bringing up the rear are still the “Angry Dragons” and “The Reach Arounds” – and they too are falling more behind the rest of the field.

For round 7 match of the week, I am going with Bruce Shaw’s (“Defending Champs”) 2-1 victory over Bill Seymour (“The Trolls”). By the look of Bruce (pictured left) and his drenched t-shirt after the match, it was either very hard work or he has a severe perspiration problem. Either way, it was nothing a beer didn’t solve afterwards. Honorable mention goes to Stu Boynton’s (“The Reach Arounds”) win over Paul Ward (“Angry Dragons”) 2-1, another example of experience and grey hair overcoming youth!

Week 8 does not come up until December 2 due to a week off as we all stuff ourselves stupid with turkey, watch the Detroit Lions get annihilated by the Packers, and spend time with family during Thanksgiving. This gives all players the perfect opportunity to make up as many matches as possible, and give the standings a real shake-up.

SQUASH SHOTS II...

Here is a priceless photo of a smiling Greg Davis and a not-so-impressed Patrick Petz holding a box of muffins. Click on the photo for an enlarged view and complete the following sentence:

"This is..."

A) The remains of the Muffin Man

B) The breakfast of champions

C) The result of a successful dumpster diving expedition

D) Greg Davis’ “gift” for the Holiday Tournament that Pat Petz chose — much to his disgust

E) Why I cannot eat muffins anymore

Answer:
D) Greg Davis’ ‘gift’ for the 2005 Holiday Tournament was a box of muffins that were in less than stellar condition. Pat Petz, who had first pick of the ‘gifts’, went for the biggest box on the table and scored this gem. The muffins appeared to have been pre-sampled. It is also the reason that muffins are forever on the 'banned substances' list for all future Holiday Tournaments!

DAC WIN THE MATCHES… BUT LOSE THE CUP

McQueenie Cup – Nov. 13-14

The first ever McQueenie Cup was held at the DAC in honor of the late Jim McQueenie. A passionate squash player and influential to many of the people he came into contact with, this event is the start of a hopefully wonderful tradition that brings together Athletic Clubs from the mid-west area to compete on the squash court (and then later on at the bars!) for the beautiful McQueenie Cup.

Starting off relatively small, the inaugural tournament had 8 man teams from the DAC, the Toledo Club, the University Club of Chicago (UCC) and the Union League Club of Chicago (ULC). When creating a competition such as this, teething problems are expected and this was no different. Although the weekend went very well and all the players left extremely content with the experience, one the biggest items we forgot to cement before the event started (and it ended up biting us where the sun doesn’t shine) was how we were going to count the score to determine the winning club. Head-to-head match-ups? Total matches won? Total games won? You’d think it would have been decided whilst we were organizing it. Funny how sometimes the most obvious things slip through the cracks.

Our toughest opponents were the lads from Toledo. The DAC were, however, up to the task. George Kordas, Paul Ward and Ryan Bendzinski won their matches in terrific 5-setters, John Rakolta held off his opponent to win 3-1 and Paul Doherty blanked his guy for a 3-0 victory. We lost the next 3 singles matches, but won the doubles for a 6 match to 3 triumph. Our next opponents were the UCC. We emulated our Toledo result by winning the first 5 matches, losing the next 3, and winning the doubles for another 6 matches to 3 win. Lastly, we played the ULC team. Their team had been struggling all weekend and against us it wasn’t any easier for them. We didn’t lose any matches, although we did have to hand them one forfeit as one of our team members could not play his match. In the end, that forfeit cost us dearly.

By the time all the squash was complete, the DAC had swept the competition. Three match-ups: three victories. You would think that would do it… But hold on… For some inexplicable reason after lengthy discussions earlier that day, it was decided that head-to-head matches wouldn’t hold any weight. Nor would total matches won. (This would have had the DAC win as well). It would be decided on total games won. The DAC won 64 games. Toledo, amazingly, had won 66. (Had we not handed ULC a forfeit, we should have won that match and would have won with 67 games.) And based on that, Toledo were declared the winners. Even though the DAC beat them. Hmmmm… It’s like announcing the winning team in baseball is the team with the most hits, not the most runs. Obviously, this method needs to be revisited – and concreted - for future McQueenie Cup events. For the 2009 title, Toledo has claimed the spoils, although it must feel a little hollow.

Regardless of how the final score turned out, the event was still extremely successful and I am tremendously proud of the effort from our players. – George Kordas; Paul Ward; Ryan Bendzinski; John Rakolta; Paul Doherty; Peter Shumaker; John Birgbauer; Peter Logan. The location for next year has not yet been decided on, I am hoping one of the Chicago clubs will be hosting, but if that doesn’t materialize, we’ll be more than happy to run it again.

FINAL SCORES:
1st - Toledo - 66 games; 19 matches; 2 wins
2nd - DAC - 64 games; 20 matches; 3 wins
3rd - UCC - 46 games; 13 matches; 1 win
4th - ULC - 9 games; 1 match; 0 wins

ROAD TRIP - CLEVELAND OPEN

December 4-6
Join me and enter into the Cleveland Open (how could you refuse!). Click on the poster above for all the details. There are categories for all singles players (sorry, no doubles!) and the entry fee allows free viewing of all the pro singles matches and pro-am doubles matches. Tournament hotels are also listed.

Registration deadline is Friday, November 20. You can register directly with the organizer, or through me. Entry fee is $90.

LITTLE CHANGE THIS WEEK

Boasters League Round 6 –

The standings this week look very similar to what it did seven days ago. The top two teams flip-flopped once again but still hold a commanding lead over 3rd placed “Stimulus Package” who may now have trouble holding onto that position with their bye week coming up. Four points behind them are “Hell’s Kitchen” who are now 4th, swapping places with “Duck or Bleed”. The other change on the standings happened all the way down the bottom where the “Reach Arounds” dropped from 8th to last and are now 1 point behind the “Angry Dragons” who still have every right to be in a pretty bad mood.

Next week’s matches have the bottom 2 teams battling out. If they get their acts together and manage to play all the matches, they could really help each other out with gaining on the field. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the top two teams are also scheduled to meet. This is the perfect opening for one of the teams to separate itself from the other. Only 3 points separate them. Coincidentally, the top team – “Defending Champs” - also has 3 more bonus points. Go figure.

Of all the results that have come in for week 6, over 70% of them had a 2-1 score line. I like that trend. There were a couple of contenders for match of the week. Neil Brodzik (“Duck or Bleed”) and Julie Henry (“Hell’s Kitchen”) had a great match with Julie ending up with her nose in front 2-1; James Van Dyke (“Hell’s Kitchen”) made Paul Flanagan (“Duck or Bleed”) explore all 600 square feet of the court and still lost 2-1; and speaking of covering every square inch of the court, Joe Bobzin (“Duck or Bleed”) took care of Phil Pitters (“Hell’s Kitchen”) 2-1 as well. Phil was not satisfied with the 400 or so court-sprints he made (necessarily or unnecessarily!) during the match as I spotted him on the elliptical machine afterwards mumbling and growling to himself. The photo is of the two playing. Ummm, "Let, please" anyone?

6TH ANNUAL HOLIDAY SQUASH TOURNAMENT

Thursday, December 3
Guess what…. It’s Christmas already!!! Yay!
To celebrate the wonderful occasion of some fat, bearded weirdo who breaks into everybody’s home dressed in a bright red suit with white frills, eats your cookies, then leaves mysterious boxes in your living room that would be taken away by a bomb squad if it were anywhere else, then climbs onto the roof of your house for a fantastical getaway with flying reindeer (what is that guy smoking, anyway?), we are running the 6th annual Holiday Squash Tournament.

A maximum 24 festive players are welcome to register – ALL LEVELS WELCOME!! You will be placed into 1 big draw and everybody gets to play 4 matches using the “Swiss System”. That means, that the first round is completely random – you could play anybody of any level. Your second round is against someone who has the same first round result as you, and so forth. All matches are 2 games to 15 points using point-a-rally scoring, there is no handicapping.

As an entry fee, every player is to bring a wrapped gift worth at least $20. At the end of the event the player with the most points will get to choose their gift first, the second player will then choose their gift, and so on. EVERYBODY WINS!! To make sure that all gifts are appropriate there is a short list of banned substances:
1. NO Cash
2. NO Viagra
3. NO Muffins

And, most importantly, what would a Holiday Tournament be without the Holiday “Cheer”? A keg will be provided for all to sample as much as needed.

Registration deadline is Tuesday, December 1. Be quick!

(Photo - Holiday Tournament players and their presents!)

City A + B Doubles Tournament

December 7-13 @ Franklin Athletic Club—

Test your Doubles skills against the best in Michigan. The City Doubles Tournament has an A and B draw only and all matches must be played at the Franklin Athletic Club.

Registration deadline is Monday, November 30. You can contact me to register or you can contact the organizer, Andy Kollin, directly at andrew.kollin@mckesson.com. You must be a MSRA member to participate.