SQUASH SHOTS XVII

The “Mickies” Awards for 2014

Roll out the red carpet! It’s that time of year to celebrate and recognize those who have craved the fame, deservedly put themselves into the spotlight (or not), and done their utmost to stand out amongst their peers for all the finger-pointing and snickering they’ll receive for days – if not weeks – to come! What motivates these individuals to reach the stratosphere of “Kim-Kardashian-esque” notoriety is beyond me, but let’s all be thankful that at least we aren’t actually gawking at Kim Kardashian herself! Stand up and appreciate the 2014 “Mickies”!

The “Don’t Mess With the Zohan” award goes to… Jon Dengel!

Mike McCuish found himself on the receiving end of a blitz attack! Ninja like and out of nowhere, through pure instinct, Jon Dengel lashed out at Mike during their Holiday Tournament match – since he was getting pasted – and gave Mike a reminder of who the real ‘man’ on court really was. So quick and calculated was the strike that even Mike’s goggles didn’t provide any protection. Mike, however, laughed it off, took it in stride (and the face)  and he still took the match. Jon, on the other hand, has been seen spending a lot of time muttering to himself while he treats the side of his racquet with a sharpening stone… something about a “re-match”?

 

The “Saturday Night Fever” award goes to… Matt DiDio! 

All I can say is “Oh. My. God.” Platform boots and all. I stand up and applaud simply based on effort if nothing else. One wouldn’t even recognize who the Travolta wannabe is! Matt has outdone himself this year for his (turning-into-a-tradition) Halloween get-up. It looks like he has the hip shaking moves down pretty well, and for the first time ever he has actually listened to his squash pro and has his racquet up! If only that ‘belly-dancing’ rhythmic movement he generates with his torso so naturally would translate to his back and front corner lunges. His playing partner that day – behind the killer clown mask  - is none other than Manny Tancer… I have no idea what Manny is trying to portray here, but it’s just… wrong!

The “Star Spangled Banner” award goes to… the April 2014 Cross Border Team!

“Oh, say! can you see by the dawn's early light...”  Stand up and be proud America! If it has the US colors on it, no matter how horribly ugly the garment, you will wear it with dignity! Nothing screams “patriotism” more than a sleeveless shirt more befitting Jim-Bob from southern Mississippi who lives in his caravan on the edge of a swamp shacking up with his half-sister-in-law-cousin Mary-Sue. Of course add on Sante’s Rocky Balboa shorts in the mix and it looks like someone swallowed a flag and puked it up over everybody. I’m surprised no one actually mistook him for a flag and accidentally strung him up at the top of a flag pole. Classy. Very classy.

The “Sweet Dreams” award goes to… Bob Rogers! 

Why is Bob smiling so fiercely? Is it possible for anyone to be any happier? Is it because he’s comfortable leaning against Mark Monaghan shoulder and dreaming of all the good times the two have been having? Or will have?  Like Bob, Mark is also renowned for putting his body on the line during a squash match with his reckless diving. Maybe Bob thinks he has found his perfect match? Mark spends more time laying on the court floor than standing on it and Bob spends much of his time jumping into the walls. Maybe they’ll start a bounce-house business together? Ah! The possibilities… either way we wish the pair a great future…

THE CLASSIC IS READY FOR YOU

DAC Squash Classic - Feb 5-8

Are you ready for it? It certainly appears so. I say that due to the countless e-mails I have received over the past couple of months asking:  “is registration open?”... “can I reserve my hotel room yet?”... “can you make sure I don’t play him in the first round?”... “should I enter the 3.5 or 4.0?”... “can I play in 4 categories?”... “are you open for a lesson at 6.30am next Sunday?”... “are kangaroos a real animal?”…

Excitement for the upcoming event is growing. Before the registrations did open, I believe all the hotel rooms at the DAC were already booked up. That’s a first. Now people are reserving their hotel before they enter. This year is particularly significant for the DAC as we celebrate the 100 year anniversary of our club house. Those of you who are coming from outside Detroit and are familiar with our building, you will notice significant changes to the entrance and hotel lobby area. It has been a long construction period but a worthy one and we hope everyone will be delighted with the improvements.

The beauty of running this event is that we receive a significant amount of ‘repeat customers’. Seeing the same faces every year is a wonderful sign of the support and those faces are the best word-of-mouth advertisement the tournament could possibly ask for. Since so many are well versed with the DAC and the way the Classic is run, my job becomes less stressful! However, just as a reminder and for the DAC Classic ‘rookies’, please take careful note of the following to ensure your DAC experience is outstanding:

Firstly, although not recommended, you are allowed to play in 2 categories. If you choose to do so, it is expected that you play ALL of your matches - even if you receive matches that are back-to-back, or at 8am in the morning, or at 11pm at night. I cannot promise ‘good match times’ or ‘reasonable’ rest between matches if you enter 2 categories. People enter the tournament to play squash, and no one wants to receive a forfeit simply because their opponent couldn’t be bothered to play a consolation match, or was too tired or hung-over to play. It’s simply bad form.

•               Maximum 32 players in any one singles category

               2.5 - 3.0 - 3.5 - 4.0 - 4.5 - 5.0 - 5.5

•              Minimum 2 matches per singles draw

•               Maximum 16 teams in any one doubles category

               A - B - C

•              Minimum 1 match per doubles draw

•              Walkovers / forfeits count as a match

•              All singles matches are PAR to 11 scoring

•              All doubles matches are best of 5 games to 15 - there is NO tie-break

•              Maximum 145 entries for the entire tournament.

•              Minimum age to enter the tournament is 13

•              Registrations will ONLY be accepted with payment

•               Once registration capacity is reached, all subsequent entries will go on a wait list

In order for the DAC Classic to run as hitch free as possible, a lot of responsibility lies with the player. Court space is a premium and we max it out. Here is what you have to consider - and adhere to - when entering:

•           Any player entering the ‘A’ doubles is NOT permitted to play the ‘C’ doubles regardless of partner. In layman’s terms – no sandbagging.

•           We do not use referees for the tournament. It is required that all players conduct themselves on court with their best behavior and avoid all ‘let’ conflicts with their opponents. Be fair, be reasonable, have common sense. We are there to have fun. Arguments will not be tolerated.

•           On the flip side of the point above, for some matches, referees may be required anyway. If you are asked to referee, please accept the duty.

•            Be on time for your match. Better yet, be early. Court usage is on a tight schedule and is maximized through the event and there is nothing worse than having a court sit open while we look for you. Take careful note of your match times.

When you enter the DAC Classic, you are agreeing to make yourself available to play during the below listed times. Once the match times are set, they will NOT be changed. It is your own responsibility to arrange your schedule around your playing times. I suggest you clear your calendar of any possible conflicts now. This is a four day event, involving over 140 players and arranging around a specific person’s time table is not viable.

•           For players in the Detroit area – including Ann Arbor, Lansing, Toledo, Windsor:

                        Thursday, February 5 between 4pm and 11pm

                        Friday, February 6 between 3pm and midnight

                        Saturday, February 7 between 8am and 8pm

                        Sunday, February 8 between 8am and 4pm 

•           For all other players:

                        Friday, February 6 between 3pm and midnight

                        Saturday, February 7 between 8am and 8pm

                        Sunday, February 8 between 8am and 4pm

If any player from out of town can play Thursday, then please let me know. Because we receive oodles of entries from our beloved friends in London, it may be impossible to avoid some first round matches against your own club members.

Support for the DAC Classic doesn’t only come from the players every year, but also from our sponsors. Once again, we are extremely proud of all our main sponsors who continue to contribute annually. They are the backbone to the prolonged success of the tournament. If you meet them over the weekend, be sure to thank them!:

•              Skidmore Inc – Patrick Petz

•              Smith Barney – Sean Moran

•              Advanced Voice and Data Solutions – Anil Kathuria

•              Corbet, Shaw, Essad, Tucciarone, Bonasso – Bruce Shaw

•              SVS Vision – Ken Stann

•              Metropolitan Baking – George Kordas

•              AARO Companies – Tom Fabbri

•              Adlhoch and Associates – Scott Adlhoch

•               Outrigger Imaging – Joe Schaden 

Registration deadline is Friday January 23. However, it is expected that capacity will be reached well before that date. If you plan on playing, enter immediately. Hesitation will prove disappointing. If you do find yourself on the outside looking in, I recommend you place yourself on the wait list. Obviously I cannot guarantee you’ll get in, but at least there is a small chance.

FARRIS CUP HOPES

Farris Cup, Sat January 10, 2015 at the DAC

We have all heard that the definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome. Well, the DAC can’t be feeling all that ‘smart’ based on the results of the past 4 years. No matter who we place on court, the Birmingham Athletic Club (BAC) has annihilated us… in fact we have lost a total of 50 matches to 14 in that time span.

On the other side of the coin, we have also all heard of the saying, “at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” I am more inclined to take this advice as we front up this January and try to take down the BAC for the first time since 2010. And try we will, I have no doubt about that. Our representatives come from the winners and finalists from the 2014 Club Championships and they will be playing against their BAC counterparts in 14 singles and 3 doubles matches.

Helping us is our home court advantage this year. Anything to give us a little edge. Plus, it would be terrific if we could be just like the Seattle Seahawks when they play at home and use the crowd as the ‘extra man’ on the field… in other words, come on down and cheer on (loudly) our players to encourage and push them through the no doubt difficult task of winning!

After the matches, at approximately 12.30 pm, there will be a coat and tie luncheon for the players and guests where the winning club will be presented with the Farris Cup trophy. If you wish to attend the luncheon, please let me know. ($15 ++)

The event is scheduled for Saturday, January 10 at the DAC. Matches kick off at 9.15am. The Farris Cup is in its 11^th year and was created in honor of John C. Farris who was a member of both clubs. He passed away in 2004, a diligent promoter of the sport.

Our proud representatives are:

Singles: Derek Aguirre – Peter Logan – Ryan Covell – Anthony Fracchia – Brien Baker – Scott Adlhoch – Sante Fratarcangeli – Chris Van Tol – Scott Langenburg – Tom MacEachern – Jason Currie – Sean Moran – John Mann – Josh Gershonowicz

Doubles: Kirk Haggarty – Mike Eugenio – John Dunwoody – Bob Burton – Bill Oddo – Rich Stimson

IT’S JED’S KEG

Hops Challenge Dec 10~~

It’s a rarity to see our club one and two play a ‘real’ match. The last time Jed Elley and Peter Logan had an all-out best-of-5 encounter was in May for the Club Championships. It was an epic battle back then with Jed wining it 12-10 in the 5^th. We tried to recapture the excitement for the Hops Challenge and we were not far off!

Chip McDaniel and Brian Schrage

Before we delve into the details, 28 others graced the courts for their own ‘blockbuster’ skirmish. I placed them onto either Jed’s team or Peter’s team. The overall team results were meaningless – only the feature match had any purpose: The loser would have to pay for the night’s keg. But that doesn’t stop everyone from busting a lung to win. Of course not all of them end up going the distance, but a small handful did:

Dane Fossee and Bob Rogers kicked the evening off exactly where they left off from the previous Friday’s Holiday Tournament – doing 4-corner court sprints with a the occasional hip-check into a wall. It wouldn’t be kosher if these two played any less than the full contingent of games, so they understandably went to 5. Dane pulled it out again, and from the four recorded scores I have between the pair, they have now won 2 matches each. I guess they’ll have to play a 5^th…

John Mann and JC Tibbitts

Another never-say-die encounter came between Chip McDaniel and Brian Schrage. After seeing them play a boasters league match a couple of weeks ago where they crawled off as if they’d spent the past week and a half inching their way through the Sahara desert without water, I thought they needed to re-live the experience. Chip won that boasters league match 2-1 that day, and once again – after bringing themselves to almost total exhaustion – Chip forced himself to a 3-2 victory. Strangely, they both displayed the best and swiftest footwork of the evening between the court door and the keg…

John Mann and JC Tibbitts have also created a friendly rivalry. JC claims to beat John in their practice games but can’t seem to translate that when the match actually counts. In their past 4 ‘real’ matches, the 3 of them that went to five games all were in favor of John. In this case, they went to 5 games again. Not a good sign for JC, I’m sure the 5^th set hurdle is mentally grinding away at him. Nothing improved for him here. John took another 5-game win over JC and no doubt deepened the mental scar a fraction more.

One more 5-game confrontation to mention. Jim Stroh and Sante Fratarcangeli. This too is building up into a rivalry. We take this match’s rundown from our guest on-site reporter from DAC-1 News Room, John Mann. John…? “Thanks, Mick… I’m here in front of court 7 having witnessed one the best 5^th game comebacks in recent memory. After Sante raced off to a 2 games to 0 lead, it looked all but over. However, it seemed that Sante slightly let  his foot off the gas in the 3^rd game and Jim saw that opening and pounced on it. He then continued that streak into the 4^th and forced the decider. Sante then knuckled down and got back to playing a solid game and controlled the 5^th up until 9-5. Jim appeared to have accepted his fate. He relaxed and somehow picked up a couple of points closing the gap to just 2 points. He had a sniff and Sante knew it, which had Sante tense up slightly, forcing some ill-timed unforced errors. Suddenly, Jim had 10-9 match ball. The last rally would live in controversial infamy. Was it a doubles bounce? Sante stretched out for a Jim Stroh drop shot, but the ball was called down. The call  was wildly contested but none of the video replays could irrefutably reverse the call on the court so it had to stand. Jim escaped with an 11-9 in the 5^th victory and Sante now owes me $40. Back to you, Mick…” Thanks, John – sounds like it was quite the ride!

The highlight of the evening relived mostly what we were anticipating: Jed and Peter going at it like Ndamukong Suh going after a fallen Green Bay Packer. (But without the nastiness!) Pride is one huge motivator. Keg aside, the two would have played just as hard without it, their battle was a roller coaster adventure. The first game is generally one where the players ‘feel’ each other out. Neither risks too much, looking simply to establish length and rhythm. Who would end up being the more patient customer? It was fairly evenly contested, not too much flashy squash going on, and with a couple of smart short attacks at the end of the game, Jed had scored first blood with an 11-9 win.

Peter Logan and Jed Elley

In the second, it was just about all Logan. Steady Eddie. Jed does have the tendency now and then to shoot a little too early and maybe the end of the first game sucked him into thinking he should take the ball in short more often. But the tin got in the way on many of those attempts. Peter simply kept it up and let his opponent shoot himself out of it. Peter won it 11-6.

The third saw the pace pick up a little more. One could see that Peter – who had his knee wrapped – was starting to feel slightly uncomfortable with his movement. With increased pace, it would be even more difficult to cover the court, but Peter can read the ball very well. He managed to chase down most of what Jed threw at him, but in the end it did prove a couple of points too many. Jed took the third 11-8.

Back to length in the fourth. With a hampered movement, Peter pounded the back court. Keeping Jed pinned, it would be a matter of not if Jed would shoot, but when. A dangerous tactic just waiting for your opponent to do something – it can backfire very easily – you need to be very precise for a long period of time. Jed would shoot – and often well. It was a long game, Peter’s movement was becoming more beleaguered, and he was hanging on but the paint of his racquet. Eventually, and quite surprisingly – Peter edged the game out 13-11.

The 5^th. Sadly, Peter’s fourth game effort put him out of contention to fight for the last one. His movement was no more. Jed recognized it quickly, and made short work of it. It was a pity we didn’t have the 5^th game showdown like we did in May, but it is a taste of we can expect come next Club Championships in 2015. Hopefully Peter is healthy and ready for a re-match.

For the record, Jed’s team won the evening 10 matches to 6. Quote of the evening goes to Patrick Petz after he was beaten 3-0 by DJ Boyd: “I just suck”. Nothing further needs to be added there. Special mention goes to Suzanne McGoey and John Parnell who not only had to down a couple of beers before their match, but straight up scotch as well. Not a bad effort! I don’t know how you can do that. And for the ‘scorers’ award, we’ll hand it to Andrew Spohn and Justin Winkelman who ended up with a 4 games to 2 result. Remedial math, anyone?