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THE SQUASH JOINT

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Monday, December 4, 2017

THE SQUASH GIFT OF GIVING



Holiday Tournament - December 1

It’s a magical time of year, isn’t it? I often wonder how such traditions came into being, as if, back in ancient times, a group of elders or wise men sat around a table and discussed the best way to celebrate the day we now know as “Christmas”… “a hideously fat man”… “in a pretentious red suit”… “who enslaves an entire race of freaky little people”… “that all children in the world blindly worship”…. “who flies in a sleigh with bewitched reindeer”… “who lives in the coldest place on earth but no one knows where it is exactly”… “who is for no apparent reason jolly”… “despite the incredibly annoying sound of jingling bells that come out of nowhere when he appears”…  I have no idea what was in their “peace-pipe” these guys were passing around but it must have some really gooooood candy cane. No war on drugs back then obviously.

Which brings us to the traditional DAC Holiday Squash Tournament which we now present to you every first Friday in December.  I, naturally, was not influenced by any extraneous substances when I came up with this concept, and this is the 12th time running it. I am glad though, I do not have to yell “Ho!, Ho!, Ho!” every so often or make my appearance though a chimney. My attitude may change otherwise.
Michael. Umm... wow.
My curiosity is also heightened somewhat when I see what fashion statements this event can produce. I get the elf hats, the reindeer horns, the obnoxious amount of clashing green and red, flashing lights… but this one had me totally befuddled. Michael Craig went above and beyond with this beauty. Now, when I think about “Christmas”, I immediately think…. Dinosaur! T-Rex! Who doesn’t, right? Makes unequivocally zero sense what so ever. Maybe it was part of the elders’ discussion that didn’t make the cut.
Julie. Spot on.

Julie Vande Vusse on the other hand, got it spot on. Repugnant, but alluring. Ghastly, but captivating. Detestable, but somehow seductive. A shirt that we wouldn’t been seen dead in but secretly wish we had it hanging in our closet. The perfect fashion oxymoron. Well played, Julie! Well played.

Of course the main reason we gather is to play squash. And celebrate our squash-ness with a few (or more) drinks. The Holiday Tournament is more about the fun side of the sport rather than the winning side of it, more to do with meeting and playing opponents who you wouldn’t normally get to step on court with. Since everybody ends up with a prize - or gift - and there is no handicapping involved, and matches are pretty much randomly drawn, who ends up on top is not so important.

It was Jed Elley.

That shouldn’t shock anyone. Jed is our current club champion so it was no surprise he went through all 4 of his matches 3-0. As he should as well. I really do want to thank Jed for making the time and effort to play. The feedback from his opponents was nothing but tremendously enthusiastic. They all were delighted to get the chance to play against him, relished the experience. Jed was considerate and obliging enough to give everyone a good run, the ultimate gentleman.

Derek Aguirre pushed his way to second place winning 9 of his 12 games. Christmas came early for the Aguirre family and congratulations are in order for Derek and his lovely wife Tori for the addition of a future squash player in their family - Lali (hope I spelled that correctly). Just a week old, Derek hasn’t slept for that long it seemed, and probably hasn’t been training much either I guess. I am sure he was happy to escape the house for a few hours to run around and reminisce about what life used to be like before children!

We had two surprises for equal third place. Maggie Durant had an excellent evening, beating up on Brian Bartes and Mike Petix and snagging a game from Andy Adamo as well to end up with 8 games won. Mack Gembis was the other shaker and mover with 8 total games, showing his improvement with a solid win over Brandan Tasco and a huge upset victory over Brian Bartes (sorry Brian - looks like you were victimized twice here!) Mack is racking up some wins as this comes on the heels of his 3rd place in the recent Blitz Tournament.

Special mention goes to Chris Laenen and Brandon Tasco for being able to complete their 4th match against each other without causing any major injury. These two have a rivalry of sorts going on although normally speaking a rivalry should not be one-sided where the same player wins all the time. A bit like the Michigan v Ohio “rivalry”. Not much of one if Ohio win every year. Kinda boring really. Just a question these days of by how much, right Steve Brown? (poke, poke). Brandon won the match 2-1, despite the downing the biggest shot of rocket fuel I have ever seen before starting. He also said he couldn’t remember the last time Chris had beaten him. Well, officially, according to Sporty HQ, Chris’s last victory was on October 11. So not too far back.

And let’s not forget to hand out an acknowledgment to Mark Montgomery who graciously stepped in last minute to take the place of the injured Gina Greer. Very noble of you Mark, we appreciate you sticking around for the evening to take part. I do apologize for calling you “Gina” throughout the event, but it was difficult to tell the two of you apart.

The gift choosing ceremony went off flawlessly if not for the text I received in the middle of it from my wife - as usual her timing is impeccable. Booze dominated the theme, gratefully nothing from the banned substances list was anywhere in sight and as far as I can tell there is nothing to add to that list either. A huge thank you to everyone as well for your gift to yours truly - it means an awful lot to me, very touching. Merry Christmas to all!

Thursday, November 30, 2017

11 DAYS



Boasters League round 8~~

So. 11 days to go. 11 days to get you matches in. 11 days for Mongoose to catch Butter Nutz. 11 days to make up those 45 points. Or will Foss Nation pull a rabbit out of the hat, overtake Mongoose and catch up the 57 points they are behind? I’d bet “no” on that, but stranger things have happened.

It was a quiet night considering we are getting into the business end of the half, and in fact the 2 weeks everyone had to make up past matches was not taken advantage of. The most points any team scored over that period was just 38, which – to be honest – is a rather mediocre total. Plenty of players have still not reached the 5 match minimum in order to avoid getting removed for the second half, and there doesn’t seem to be much ‘giddy-up’ going on. 11 days to get the move on.

Biggest mover of the round goes to Winky-Dinks, jumping up 2 spots to 5th place. They did pick up the second most points since round 7 (33), and ended up swapping places with Paddy’s Dropshots who picked up the least amount points (22) if you don’t include Foss Nation who had the bye. Paddy’s Dropshots also only picked up 6 bonus points last night, and are last in the league in that category too.

Kelli and Andy Hodges
About a month ago, I touted a blockbuster husband and wife match-up that was coming up in the league. It’s the first one that I can remember ever happening in the Boasters. Kelli and Andy Hodges finally managed to get this epic encounter completed last night, although they did it very, very quietly, sneaking upstairs when no one was paying attention. Andy had a great big smile on his face when they had finished, but it wasn’t because he won. He lost 1-2. But he was delighted that he had avoided a week of cold dinners, surrendering possession of the remote control, and couch sleeping. Unfortunately, Kelli and Andy have to bid us all “adieu” as they are moving all the way to the west coast next week. We are sorry to see them go and wish them all the best. Of course, since Andy lost, he is also allowed to travel in the front seat of the car on their long journey… Aaah! Isn’t married life wonderful!?

Another shout-out to Chris Moyer (Nicker Ballers). He gets the “humble pie” award of the week. Chris improved his record to 4-1 with a win over Justin Winkelman (Winky-Dinks) last night but as he approached me to give me the result, his facial expression and tone of voice conveyed the exact opposite. It was almost as if he was ashamed of his victory. Winning is enjoyable as far as I have experienced.

Other ‘mentionables’ go to John Mann (Over Served) taking 2 of 3 games from Paul Van Tol (Vivio’s) after the slowest start to a match of all time; Brien Baker (Winky-Dinks) picking up his 3rd win of the season 2-1 over James Van Dyke (Nicker Ballers); and Tom MacEachern (Winky-Dinks) recording his 5th victory (all of which have been 2-1) against Chris Van Tol (Nicker Ballers). Tom’s only loss (so far) this season was also a 2-1 result.

11 days. Clock is ticking…

Thursday, November 16, 2017

MONGOOSE RISING



Boasters League round 7~~

Mongoose is on the prowl. I would say they are ‘creeping’ up the standings, but in reality there isn’t much subtlety going on here. It was expected that they would overtake the idle Paddy’s Dropshots this week to take third spot – which they did without even blinking – but they did so with a league leading 46 points for the round, 6 more than the next best Butter Nutz and 8 more than the third best Vivio’s (who are an unthreatening 38 points behind). Now, they are only 4 points back on second placed Foss Nation who have to sit out with the bye for round 8.

They are still 35 points behind Butter Nutz, but that lead doesn’t look like it’s enough. Butter Nutz have the horrible task of anguishing through the last round bye and having to nervously scrutinize the team hot on their heels getting closer and closer. Make up matches are a must in order to hold them off, and they have been doing a terrific job of that – they currently have played the most matches overall and have the (equal) best winning percentage. The other team with the best winning percentage? Vivio’s. If only they played more matches, eh? This could be a great showdown come December 10.

The one thing that let Mongoose down yesterday was that they had their worst score for bonus points this season. Shame on them. Only 13. Still, they now have the most in the league overall, and that 13 was the most bonus points of the 7th week as well… so it wasn’t that shameful. Either way, I’m sure Captain Paul Huth will pull out the whip and torture devices to make sure such a feeble performance is not repeated!

Quite a few matches were played last night. Kind of off topic here, but I was asked to make a special mention of a non-Boasters League score. In the Doubles League, George Kordas and Robin Basil looked primed and ready to hand a beat down to Vikram Chopra and Mike Eugenio. Vikram mentioned to me that George was trash-talking (texting) during the day telling Vikram to prepare himself for the humiliation that was coming his way. George may have forgotten that Mike has actually won the Club Championship doubles multiple times over the years and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Well, as fate would have it, and as my mother used to tell me, “let your racquet do the talking”, George’s words inspired Vikram and Mike to greater heights and they pulled out the win 3-2. Nothing like a dish of humble pie to silence the thumbs.

Getting back to the matter at hand, Kevin Butler (Winky-Dinks) was all fired up after his first win of the season, taking the 2-1 win over Helen French (Mongoose). Nothing like a victory in the back pocket to motivate oneself! Maggie Durant (Winky-Dinks) was also very pleased with her performance – at least for the first 2 games – against Sandy Selinger (Mongoose) as she picked up her 4th win of the season with a 2-1 score line. And another win for the ladies for the Wardogs – this time Ashley Thibodeau with her 3rd victory of the season managing to get past Jim Miller (Vivio’s) 2-1.

Tom Pierce (Butter Nutz) pulled off one his best victories of the half taking down the (up until yesterday) the undefeated Chris Laenen (Foss Nation) 2-1. Chris was obviously disappointed with the loss and was already looking for when his revenge match could take place. I’m sure they will meet up again soon and Chris will get his opportunity, they are also only 1 box apart on the ladders.

A welcome rest from the league next week as Thanksgiving will be upon us. The ideal time to knock out as many make-up matches as possible. The minimum 5 matches to avoid league eviction has been reached by 76 of the 153 players so far – some of you have work to do to get there though and the December 10 deadline is looming. Let’s get proactive!