SQUASH SHOTS VI

After poking fun at myself in the previous "Squash Shots", I figure I may as well poke fun at the club too. So, here is a simple quiz to test your knowledge of basic… facts. There are really no correct answers, so you positively cannot fail.

1. If you poked a hole in a squash ball, what would you find?
a) That you have ruined a perfectly good squash ball
b) You can now play the best drop-shots ever
c) One of Mark Hayduk’s missing socks.
d) Air
e) Not even Joe Bobzin can warm it up

2. Who is the best squash player in the DAC, bar none?
a) Rob Barr
b) Roseanne Barr
c) The Tap Bar
d) Tom the Barber
e) George Haggarty
f) Kirk Haggarty
g) Peter Logan

I’ll let you all chew over that one...

3. Blerta Jakupi is...
a) The new soup on the Grill Room menu
b) An Athletic Department Manager
c) An Albanian swear word
d) The medical term for the Swine Flu
e) A Russian car manufacturer (“I drive a ’Jakupi’!”)
f) A made-up word

4. Racquetball is to Squash, as…
a) Checkers is to Chess
b) The Detroit Lions are to winning
c) Tiger Woods is to fidelity
d) The Detroit Tigers are to second half success
e) Shaquille O’Neal is to free-throws
f) LeBron James is to humility

g) Mick Joint is to playing good golf
h) All of the above

5. How can we win next the Cross Border Challenge?
a) Cheat
b) Tell Windsor the wrong date, then claim a forfeit
c) Start our players on a doping program
d) Don’t be ridiculous, it’s an impossible task.
e) Play better squash (How novel…)
f) Ha! Haha! Ha! Hahaha!

6. What does “DAC” really stand for?
a) Denim And Caps
b) Does Athletics Count?
c) Don’t Answer Cellphone
d) Dining And Catering
e) Don’ts And Cant’s
f) Detroit Athletic Club
g) International Airport Code for Dhaka, Bangladesh
h) Deutsche Automobil-Construktionsgesellschaf… errr, what?