Tuesday, January 31, 2012


I can’t say I know too many hip-hop or rap songs, and if I even had an iPod, it would be full of rock from the 80’s and 90’s. So, because I am tone deaf and my singing is akin to rasping fingernails down a blackboard, it would be easier for me to read the Squash Poet’s next rhyme if I had a beat in my head to go with it. (I figure he’s going with the rap angle here…) Maybe someone clever reader out there could put a tune to it? Nevertheless, I still got a kick out of it. 

Finger signs and sagging pants
Backwards caps and rhythmic chants
My Calvin Klein’s for all to savor
Inked up the wazoo, rebellious behavior
They think life’s rough but have no idea
Til they pick up a racquet and a small rubber sphere
And experience the pain of the world’s best sport
The masochistic pleasure of being on a squash court.

The Squash Poet

Try Squash

Combination of agility
The audacity to have ability
Flexibility defying gravity
Versatility for lethality
Capability of terminal velocity
Temerity, ferocity
Activity exclusivity
Captivated into captivity
Feelings are borderline profanity
The intensity is insanity

Man up and grab a racquet
A little black ball and try to whack it
Don’t start to cry when your heart starts racing
Suck it up and continue chasing
Head-butting egos on court collide
A sport of wits and machismo pride
No time to rest cause that’s for wimps
Put on your skirt, return to your pimp
If you’re feeble minded don’t try this sport
You need a spine of granite to grace this court.

Brutality, sweat’s a flying,
Vicious pain, feel like you’re dying
Nasty pace, your muscles are frying
Desperation intensifying
Cruel opponents, don’t stop trying
Wicked power, death defying
Depraved self-harm is gratifying
Devilish fitness magnifying
Racquet skills electrifying
Nothing is more satisfying.

Train the talent with athlete’s class
Have the drive to just kick…
Arsenal is the weapons you wield
Be aggressive on the battlefield
Take the ‘T’ and attack is the trick
Don’t sit on your heels like a useless…
Dictum should be ‘have no mercy’
Kick ‘em when there down, no controversy
Take your rewards as you please
Force your opponents to their knees.

Flick the wrist, disorientation
Opponents grow in frustration
Honing skills with dedication
Creating angles, improvisation
A natural high, buzzed stimulation
Punishing foes with imagination
Run them ragged, suffocation
Move in with style for annihilation
Adoring crowds show admiration
Take the praise of congratulations

Competition is one on one
Athleticism required is second to none
Push your body to the extreme
Mental toughness beyond supreme
Power and grace melded together
Sting like a bee, float like a feather
Velvet touch with lightning speed
Will to win should make you bleed
Only one question, you’ll be brainwashed
Are you tough enough try out squash?

The Squash Poet

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