Friday, November 15, 2013


Holiday Tournament – Dec 6

Can you believe it? This will be the 10th annual Holiday Tournament. Wow. 10 years. Do you remember what life was like 10 years ago? I, for example, still needed mapquest to get from the DAC back home. My bald spot had not yet materialized. I owned a portable compact disc player with a Guns ‘n’ Roses CD (I actually still have the CD, but not the player!). Miley Cyrus was the sweet and innocent Hannah Montana and not an eye-gauging wrecking-ball jockey (puke). Florida Marlins won the World Series. The Pistons won the NBA championship… Time changes many things, but not everything, For example, it hasn’t stopped the traditional Holiday Tournament from running.

While you drink your eggnog (actually, beer-nog in this case), why not deck the squash court halls with sounds of volleys (Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!) and participate! The unique Swiss System event can only handle a maximum of 24 players, so be quick to register.

What is the ‘Swiss System’ I hear you cry? Don’t cry, it’s simple. All players will be in one draw and receive 4 matches. Each match will be 2 games to 15. There will not be any handicapping. You score points for each game you win. So, since the match-ups are relatively random, anyone can end up playing anyone else. It’s a great way to step on court with members you normally wouldn’t.

Now, it’s no secret that in this format the stronger players rise to the top. However, the good news is that ALL players will receive a prize for entering no matter if you come first or last. These prizes are provided by you – your entry gift – or fee.

That’s right! As your entry fee, you must provide a wrapped gift worth at least $20. Players will choose their gift at the end of the tournament in order of the final rankings. Here are some guidelines to help you with the dos and don’ts of the art of gift exchange:

DO purchase a gift that you wouldn’t mind receiving yourself.
DO NOT re-gift the potpourri that your grandmother gave you last year.

DO make the effort to purchase the gift yourself well before the day of the tournament.
DO NOT ask the squash-pro to quickly put together a package of stuff one hour before the event starts and ask me to wrap it up for you.

DO adhere to the “banned substances” list: Viagra / Canary Yellow DAC T-shirt / Cash / Muffins / aforementioned potpourri.
DO NOT ignore the “banned substances” list.

No doubt we will get some members dressing up in appropriate Holiday themed gear. Let’s see who can be the most decorative, creative. Keep in mind you need to play in said gear. So if you choose to place deer horns on your head, or a great white beard on your face, that’s great so long as it doesn’t interfere with your swing. Maybe I will have a prize for best costume…

Registration deadline is Tuesday, December 3.

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