Friday, February 14, 2014


Toledo Tournament Mar 7-9

Once upon a time in a not-so-magical land that wasn’t that far away called “Toledo” (pronounced “Tuh-Lee-Doe”) there was this gentle man who had a very strange job. He was a “Squash Pro” (pronounced “Skwash”). He wasn’t a giant that lived on top of a beanstalk, or someone who lived in a shoe, nor was he a big green Ogre living in a swamp (although that is debatable), he was simply a lonely fellow who wanted to see if there were other “Squash” players around. His name was John.
So he decided to run a tournament of sorts. Not a jousting event, or archery, but for other racquet wielding souls looking for a weekend of joyous celebration. And thus, the Toledo Squash Tournament was born. That was over 20 years ago and it has turned into an annual ritual for many a wanderer, myself included.

It is not an arduous trek to find Toledo, unless the weather turns nasty - which the way things have been lately could be something to watch out for - nor is there a moat full of gators around the castle that is justly branded “The Toledo Club” where one can find the rare entity of gathering squash players and their courts of competition.

You won’t find a golden goose laying golden eggs here, but you will find a bewitching fountain of golden liquid (much like we have at the DAC Classic!) that does have an enchanting spell when  consumed. Amongst these folk, it is called “Beer” (pronounced “Bee-Err” or if you are from my edge of the world, “Bee-A”) and John doubles the mystical powers of this ‘beer’ by having a couple of princesses glide around the establishment serving the contestants, enhancing the rapture of its effects.

For the battle weary, if one manages to win their bouts in the squash arena - which for the uninitiated are made even more difficult to play on because the clever John made them smaller than what we are all used to, to give his home heroes and champions the advantage over the travelers - the reward is a lovely trophy (pronounced “Tro-Fee”) that one can display with pride on their return to their humble domicile.

The jubilation of such a weekend can only be truly appreciated if you go. John welcomes all visitors from all lands with open arms and some of that hoodoo brew called ‘beer’, the only requirement is that you enjoy yourself. I think we could all do that. And, as the fable of the Toledo Squash Open continues year after year, we all can live happily ever after.

The End.

Before you go, click on the above poster for all the details on how to notify John to enter yourself. And into which category. And if you need a place to rest your weary head once night falls. 

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