What’s with all push for fitness, huh? Run further, jump higher, lift heavier… Whatever happened to cutting corners? Taking the easy way out. Why drag something out when you can end it straight away and then move on? Of course, that attitude would completely contradict every philosophy about squash, but don’t let that stop us as we rush you through the first Blitz Tournament of the season!
I think Usain Bolt has it right. All this guy does is run for less than 10 seconds, and he’s hailed as a God, adored by the world and has enough money to buy whatever he wants. It’s not as if he’s doing anything special – just about anyone can run for 10 seconds. Since we are in the realm of absurdity here, I read somewhere that Bolt receives around $250,000 per meet, which if you calculate the 9.8 seconds he runs his race, makes him earn $91,000,000 per hour! It got me thinking what other sporting events take only a split second of time to complete, but nothing I found comes even close to Bolt’s figures.
Which brings us to Blitz Squash. Matches in this event have known to last less than 60 seconds. Mind you, we’ve also had games lasting longer than 10 minutes, so you definitely may need to work hard anyway. You’ll get (approx) 4 matches minimum, each match being one game to 15 points. Handicaps will be assigned and in some cases it is not unusual for one to walk on court with a 13 point lead. (It is also not unusual for such match-ups to last only 2 rallies as the chasing player clobbers 2 tins in quick succession!) For a lucky few that survive the group stage, there will be a knock-out draw to determine the top 3 place getters.
As is customary for such events at the DAC, we will wheel the keg out. Now, don’t get tricked into thinking that your consumption prowess needs to match the theme of the tournament. No extra points will be awarded for downing your beverage in record time, it may, however, impress any witnesses. Or disgust them.
Don’t be shy – players of all levels are invited to participate. Experience new opponents and meet new people. These events are built on the social side. We need a minimum 16 players to run it; you do need to be a Blackballer to play. Registration deadline is Wednesday, October 8. Your hourly rate for this event? Zero. But we give you beer. And a good social time.