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The “Mickies” Awards for 2015
What a
year! The DAC squash program saw a couple of major improvements this year, none
better than the addition of our new assistant squash pro, Corey Kabot. Corey
has been invaluable implementing a junior squash program and providing much
needed reinforcement with lessons and administrative assistance. He has helped
me in many ways: my office has never been so dust free, my coffee has never
been hotter, and my car never cleaner.
We also renovated
the court area over the summer in order to encourage you all to hang out longer
and consume more beverages… like that
needed any help! The upward squash usage trend continued and by the way we are
going, peak time may expand into midnights. Since we enjoy patting ourselves on
the back so much for a job fantastically done, the annual “Mickies” Awards are another way to blow wind up our own egos and
applaud the sorry souls who made the 2015 cut!
The “Bond… James Bond” Award goes to… John Mann!
Suave.
Sophistication. Martinis shaken but not stirred. All qualities of the debonair
secret agent that John Mann clearly has no trace of. It’s also excellent proof
of why John does not work as a model. Nor would you be the first, if after
seeing the photo, you initially thought of a James Bond villain instead such as
Jaws… or Oddjob. Rumor has it actually, that he was having a lot of difficulty
navigating the stairs this one fine evening and needed a rest half way up. After
all, no one ever accused John of being too fit. One must admire his court hustle
when the going gets tough, however, he does pick it up on the “frenzy-meter”
and suddenly one recognizes the ‘shaken’ and
‘stirred’ come to light!
The “Yabba-Dabba-Doo!” Award goes to… Kevin Prather!
Will the
real Fred Flintstone step forward? Almost identical twins, Kevin is actually
the one holding the drink… and being married to Wilma, who can blame him? John
Goodman is the ugly one. An appropriate costume for Kevin, whose forehand
overhead volley is equivalent of a caveman wielding a massive club and
clobbering a dinosaur in the head. It’s the one shot you never want to be in
the way of, unless of course that shot comes in a small glass and is being
served off the court at the bar. We are praying, though, that Kevin does not
adopt the loin cloth as a new squash outfit.
The “Larry-the-Lounge-Lizard” Award goes to…
Matt DiDio!
Once
again, Matt picks up another award! It’s becoming an annual tradition. Who
would have thought that murky-fetid-water-brown would be his color of choice? But
when you linger in the shadowy recesses of seedy bars throwing out cheesy
one-liners to the miserable female characters that have lost all hope in life,
who cares how horrible one’s suit is? The fact that an Angry ‘Bird’ is standing
next to him is no coincidence. Any bird who would be degrade themselves to such
levels can’t be happy. Manny Tancer, however, still manages a smile for the
camera, but probably had to rush off afterwards for a cold shower! Can’t wait
to see what is in store for us next Halloween!
