SQUASH SHOTS XVIII

The “Mickies” Awards for 2015

What a year! The DAC squash program saw a couple of major improvements this year, none better than the addition of our new assistant squash pro, Corey Kabot. Corey has been invaluable implementing a junior squash program and providing much needed reinforcement with lessons and administrative assistance. He has helped me in many ways: my office has never been so dust free, my coffee has never been hotter, and my car never cleaner.

We also renovated the court area over the summer in order to encourage you all to hang out longer and consume more beverages… like that needed any help! The upward squash usage trend continued and by the way we are going, peak time may expand into midnights. Since we enjoy patting ourselves on the back so much for a job fantastically done, the annual “Mickies” Awards are another way to blow wind up our own egos and applaud the sorry souls who made the 2015 cut!

The “Bond… James Bond” Award goes to… John Mann!

Suave. Sophistication. Martinis shaken but not stirred. All qualities of the debonair secret agent that John Mann clearly has no trace of. It’s also excellent proof of why John does not work as a model. Nor would you be the first, if after seeing the photo, you initially thought of a James Bond villain instead such as Jaws… or Oddjob. Rumor has it actually, that he was having a lot of difficulty navigating the stairs this one fine evening and needed a rest half way up. After all, no one ever accused John of being too fit. One must admire his court hustle when the going gets tough, however, he does pick it up on the “frenzy-meter” and suddenly one recognizes the ‘shaken’ and ‘stirred’ come to light!

The “Yabba-Dabba-Doo!” Award goes to… Kevin Prather!

Will the real Fred Flintstone step forward? Almost identical twins, Kevin is actually the one holding the drink… and being married to Wilma, who can blame him? John Goodman is the ugly one. An appropriate costume for Kevin, whose forehand overhead volley is equivalent of a caveman wielding a massive club and clobbering a dinosaur in the head. It’s the one shot you never want to be in the way of, unless of course that shot comes in a small glass and is being served off the court at the bar. We are praying, though, that Kevin does not adopt the loin cloth as a new squash outfit.

The “Larry-the-Lounge-Lizard” Award goes to… Matt DiDio! 

Once again, Matt picks up another award! It’s becoming an annual tradition. Who would have thought that murky-fetid-water-brown would be his color of choice? But when you linger in the shadowy recesses of seedy bars throwing out cheesy one-liners to the miserable female characters that have lost all hope in life, who cares how horrible one’s suit is? The fact that an Angry ‘Bird’ is standing next to him is no coincidence. Any bird who would be degrade themselves to such levels can’t be happy. Manny Tancer, however, still manages a smile for the camera, but probably had to rush off afterwards for a cold shower! Can’t wait to see what is in store for us next Halloween!