SLUDGING ALONG

Boasters League round 4 

It feels like moving through week old molasses while wearing one of those atmospheric deep diving suits (you know, the ones with the metal helmets?) and pushing a block of concrete… uphill. With one arm. And ankles tied together. Such is the speed of which these boaters league matches are being played. Okay, okay, I am being a tad over-dramatic, and we can use the excuse for yesterday’s participation on Tuesday’s election. From what I heard it was a very successful day at the DAC, and celebrations went far into the wee hours, and no doubt the Wednesday morning was greeted with a few fuzzy-eyed headaches. But, believe it or not, we are just about half way through the second half of the season, and we’ve had a whopping 21% of matches completed so far.

Mongoose have increased their lead over the rest of the field, picking up the most points this week with 32, 9 better than next best Foss Nation. It’s not looking very promising for the Wardogs or Nicker Ballers, some dramatic improvement will be needed if they want to give themselves any chance of reaching the play-offs. The Nicker Ballers have the added dilemma of getting the bye week in the final round, so their situation is even more desperate.

All of this isn’t distressing Vivio’s captain Rich Stimson, who confidently announced that his team is the “team to beat”. A brazen if not brave statement considering they are 4^th on the standings and currently 29 points behind Mongoose. However, he may not be far off the mark if you currently look at the stats – They do have the highest win percentage – albeit it’s just 0.24% better than Mongoose – and they also have the best 3-0 win percentage, but they have the second lowest number of matches played so far. Like always – and with every team – it all comes down to who will turn and play.

Stand-out performances of the week: Mike Parker (Cadiuex Café) had the quick feet of Haytham Hermiz (Winky-Dinks) doing the double-two-step-tango-do-so-do as he boasted and angled and cross-courted and flicked and hit maybe a couple straight shots as well for his 2-1 win. I think Haytham’s head was still spinning in circles for at least 2 beers afterwards. Alex Parker (Vivio’s) followed in his father’s footsteps as he also recorded a 2-1 win over Kevin Thomas (Over Served) although his game style is a little more traditional.

But without a doubt, accomplishment of the night goes to John Mann who devoured an entire pizza while watching Jed and Vikram go at it. John’s form was flawless, poetry in motion, it’s beautiful to watch someone perform such feats as nature intended.

So, we are getting into the business end of the league season. Keep in mind that only the top 6 teams will reach the play-offs. Time to get busy. It’s also time for another coffee… one with a little extra ‘kick’ maybe…

VIVIO’S SURGING

Boasters League round 3~~ 

From last to 4^th. Vivo’s were wallowing in the depths of darkness after round 2, dead last and hardly disturbing the score keeper. Now, with a bunch of make up matches and a (so far) perfect win record in round 3 (6 matches, 6 wins), they flung themselves into 4^th with a week’s best 38 points. That’s 5 points better than next best Mongoose, who still managed to increase their lead atop of the standings.

So a little better action with the top 4 teams, but not so much concerning the remainder. Nicker Ballers have been very consistent with their bonus point tally – unfortunately it’s appallingly low with just 4 per week. Wardogs have also gone MIA which is surprising considering they won the first half. They have played the least amount of matches so far this half.

It was meet the candidates last night, so we did see some decent action. Not just on the court, the buffet table saw constant waves of attacks, snipers, and raiders. Nothing like free tacos to attract the masses… “Om-nom-nom-nom…”. Server Tony at the keg woke up this morning with an achy arm and shoulder from pulling beers non-stop. It was actually great to be a part of a full court area again.

The on-court action was where the mouths were empty, but the lungs were heaving. Greg Jones (Foss Nation) and Schuyler Hamill (Nicker Ballers) had a looong 3 games. It was almost as if I was watching a video game as most of the game was located in the front two-thirds of the court, lots of drops and angles, but both players would be standing still admiring their shot and waiting until the other one sprinted it down and then did exactly the same thing: Hit it, watch it, wait… then tear off after the next one. In other words fellas… “Get back to the T!!” It did, however, make it entertaining. Greg by the way won 2-1.

Picking up his first win of the half, Michael Essian (Over Served) is getting more comfortable every week. A great confidence booster for him, he managed to hold off Anita Prys (Mongoose) 2-1 and hand her, her first loss of the half.

Brian Ellison’s (Cadiuex Café) match gets a special mention as well, not because of the toughness of the battle against Scott Beals (Butter Nutz), because it wasn’t. Brian won 3-0, the third game a pulverizing 15-1. But because of Scott’s blissful aura despite walking off the court after the match with his backside in his hands. He was in heaven. Why? Because earlier that evening he won his doubles league match against Vikram Chopra and Robin Basil. Of course, it would have everything to do with Jed being his partner, but a win is a win. So delighted was Scott with the best win of his illustrious squash career, he left everything on the doubles court and forgot to take it with him to the singles: his mind, his swing, his racquet it appears…

Into round 4, I expect more results to be rolling in now. (Me, being the eternal optimist!) Clearly my warnings about letting matches pile up went unheeded, which I guess as a married man, I should be used to being ignored. But time will be catching up with everybody and I have a feeling things will turnaround. I also wonder… for how long will Scott Beals mention this epic doubles win every time the conversation he’s involved in turns to squash... or even when it doesn’t? Will squash shoes ever be on the market again? Will my neighbor ever, ever, turn off the lights inside their house or are they actually afraid of the dark? Things to lose sleep over…

A PAINFUL CLOBBERING

Farris Cup - January 15, 2022

Simply put: No. Chance.

This wasn’t even close. Before the day started, I wasn’t exactly brimming with confidence, even on paper the matchups were not overly attractive for us. And as if the task ahead of us wasn’t almost insurmountable enough, we lost our number 1 player 24 hours before the start of the event due to Canadian Covid protocols. Not that it would have made a lick of difference on the overall result, it just would make the score line a smidgeon less disfigured.

Joe Sheena and Paul Gormley

Kicking the day off, we had Paul Gormley against Joe Sheena (BAC). Scuttlebutt on Joe is that he’s a respectable tennis player that can serve the ball at over 110 mph. His squash serve of course is a carbon copy and he did his utmost to drill the ball through our front wall and send it into the back pavilion. Now at the 2.5 level, serving at that pace is a tremendous weapon. It’s difficult to react and handle effectively. Paul did a reasonable job for the most part and once the rally was going, the two had some decent exchanges. However, brute power ruled the day. Joe got the BAC motor humming early and loudly and took the 3-0 win. The BAC never looked back.

While Paul was fending off the bullets on court 8, Josh Gershonowicz was giving himself every chance to even the deal on court 7 against John Giudici. A lot more controlled pace, Josh took one game to find his feet and rhythm, and the second and third were a lot more balanced. Josh was actually leading in those games and it’s so important to convert opportunities when they arise, but the business end of the sets belonged to John, and he squeezed out both of them in tie-breaks. Another 3-0 win for BAC.

It didn’t improve for the DAC. The next 2 singles matches were decided in even quicker fashion. We were now 4 results into the day, and we hadn’t made even a slight dent into the score board. 4 matches to zero. 12 games to zero. My foreshadowing was becoming a reality in a hurry. However, a brief moment of joy relieved the gloom momentarily - AJ Peleman and won his match 3-0! A notch in the DAC win column! Was there hope?

Logan, O'Connor, Mehta, Payne

For a while, it looked like the vortex of despair was creeping onto our doubles court as well. Peter Logan and Joe O’Connor were definitely one of my (few) favorites on the day, but to my bewilderment they were looking down at a straight sets loss after losing the first 2 games to Henry Payne and Mehul Mehta. The glimmer of optimism that AJ had set alight was fading fast. But all was not lost. The comeback was in full gear. Peter didn’t come all the way from Montana to go down in a screaming heap in three. A comprehensive third and fourth game turnaround, the fifth was closer until about 8-all when the DAC team started to string together some points and they finished off the match in fine style. It was now 2 matches to 4… could we make something of this after all?

Ummm… no. We could not.

The singles results were coming in thick and fast. It was complete one-way traffic. It was ugly. Of the 14 singles matches for the day, we lost eight of them 3-0. Plus add on 4 more losses that were 3-1 or 3-2, that’s 12 of the 14. To win the Farris Cup, 9 is the magic number. 

Wins for the DAC were scarce. Our third victory for the day also came via the doubles court. Robin Basil and Ryan Covell have turned themselves into rather proficient doubles players. Their racquetball background no doubt very helpful here, they recognize and execute angles that are unconventional but are also the base of what the doubles tactics should be. Effective being the operative word. They were unlucky not to take their match 3-0, I believe the game they lost (2nd), was 14-15. They deserved the ‘W’, they were the better team this day.

Some other diamonds amongst the rough here, special mention to Jordon Dean. Jordan was scheduled to play at 10am and his opponent was nowhere to be seen. After an exhaustive search by the BAC team, eventually the fellow was found, and he rocked up 2 hours late. Jordan was still very eager to play his match, so I commend his sportsmanship and effort for the day. We were unfortunate not to see the encounter, it was played upstairs, and probably one of the best matches of the day with an epic 5-setter. Jordan unluckily on the wrong end of the result.

Matt Paradiso and Jack Parks

Also, I would like to shout out Matt Paradiso. I am very impressed with his game. He took on a tough opponent in Jack Parks, who can run like a jack rabbit (pun intended). Matt stays very calm on court regardless of the situation, and even though he went down 3-1, I felt that he is more than capable of winning matches of this caliber. A little more experience is needed - it’s not just being more consistent with tightness and unforced errors, some shot choices at critical junctures also let him down. He’s a quick study however, and he’ll will be a better player after this.

All eyes at the end of the day were on the 2 club champions going head-to-head. Even though the Farris Cup was long ago decided, there was still interest amongst the clubs as to who has the top-dog overall. Vikram Chopra for the DAC versus Jess Berline for the BAC. It was a curious contrast. Jess is a smooth customer, flowing technique, clean striker. He knows how to finish a rally, hunts the volley well. However, his movement is suspect. Vikram on the other hand cracks the ball very hard with a whippy technique that can be difficult to read. 

Jess Berline and Vikram Chopra

He likes pace in the game but can be inconsistent with his hitting. He does, however, hold an important advantage in that he moves quicker than Jess. A telling factor at the end of this match. The players swapped games. Vik the first, Jess the second, Vik the third, Jess again in the fourth. But by this stage, going into that 5th, I knew Vik had him beat. Jess was struggling with the fitness and movement. He was hanging back off the ’T’, shoulders were starting to slump, he was becoming flat-footed. Vik’s key was to be steady and patient. He was also tired, but importantly he was less tired than Jess. He needed not to force the short ball but wait for that opportunity. He executed that game plan almost flawlessly and Vik took the 5th in comfortable fashion, and small victory for the DAC at the end of a day that needed some positiveness for us.

Brian Rassel...!

The overall result: 13-4. Ugh. Congratulations to the BAC, we will be licking our wounds here for some time. This being the 17th episode - we started way back in 2005 - the BAC now leads 9 wins to 8. At the end of the day, though, it’s all about getting together and celebrating what the Farris Cup is all about - honoring the late John Farris for who the Cup is named after, and the continued healthy relationship between the DAC and BAC. Breaking bread and clinking glasses after the matches is - in reality - more important than the games of squash itself.

Thank you to all that participated. I just have one more shout out before I leave you. I am very grateful to Brian Rassel for being able to fill in for us last moment after we lost Stefan in our lineup. It’s not always easy to jump in unprepared. So, I guess we can forgive Brian for forgetting to pack his collar and jacket for the luncheon and accidentally bringing his pajamas instead. Very fashionable, mate… very fashionable.

 

SPUTTERING ALONG

Boasters League round 2~~

Definitely a step up from last week with attendance, but that wasn’t exactly a high bar to reach in the first place. Patrick Petz had the perfect motivation for his team to turn up with sponsored shirts to hand out. He had 12 players rock up for their bonus points and a very loud green “Caduiex Café” shirt… makes them look like leprechauns, but so far they haven’t been very lucky on court. Not that there are too many results to get excited about but only 3 wins in 2 rounds isn’t the start one would hope for.

Mongoose jump to the top of the standings, tied on points with Foss Nation, but they do have more bonus points. On the opposite end of the spectrum to Caduiex Café, Mongoose only has 1 loss in the 2 rounds so far – sounds intimidating – but they have only played 9 matches. Out of a possible 32. So perspective is important.

It was great to see our 2019 Club Champion in the house yesterday – Stefan Houbtchev (Nicker Ballers). Stefan has been stuck for almost 2 full years in Canada, unable to cross the border due to the pandemic and he made first appearance in style for the league with a convincing 3-0 win over Ryan Covell (Butter Nutz) . However, it wasn’t all tears and misery for Ryan as he did beat Stefan on the doubles court. We’ll be seeing Stefan and Ryan this Saturday complete against the BAC for the coveted Farris Cup.

Also making a rare appearance was Peter Logan – all the way from where the buffalo roam and the deer and the antelope play, the backstreets on Montana countryside. Where, actually, there are only backstreets, tumbleweeds, and 1850 western towns where it’s never big enough for the 2 of us. Peter is here also to represent us on Saturday, all fired up for a good ol’ fashion butt-kickin’ over them city folk of Birm'ngh'm.

Mentioning other mentionables worthy of mention, JB Peabody (Foss Nation) picked up his second straight 2-1 win of the half over Michael Craig (Over Served). JB lost the third game and blamed his fitness level for fading away at the end of the match. Of course, nothing like admitting to that while you’re guzzling a beer. Julie Vande Vusse (Mongoose) guzzling of the wine was of the celebratory kind as she must have been rather satisfied with her 2-1 victory over Todd Baker (Cadieux Café), and John Mann (Over Served) is a man (!) on a mission, desperate to prove himself after being dropped one spot in the league for the second half. He took care of business with his second 3-0 of the season.

So we were better this week, but still not where we need to be. We need to get matches completed. What will week 3 have in store for us? Will the Nicker Ballers get more than 4 players to show up? Will Evan and Matt Moore start wearing name tags so I can tell who is who? Will the Christmas tree in my living room ever find it’s way to the basement again? Ahhh… the mysteries of the universe…

IF YOU HAVEN’T HEARD, THE LEAGUE STARTED

Boasters League round 1~~

Don’t you love this time of year? The Holidays are over, the weather is nasty cold, the sun sets in the middle of the afternoon if we see it all, I’m sure my driveway gets longer every snowfall when I have to shovel it, and the Lions surprise me every week since I can’t honestly believe they can get any worse but they continually prove me wrong. Oh, and if you haven’t heard, the second half of the Boasters League started yesterday.

Probably one of the quietest league nights I have experienced in recent memory. When the highest scoring team for the week only picks up 16 points, that’s not something to brag about. In fact, between the 8 teams that were scheduled to play, a total of 56 bonus points were collected compared to a total of 39 points scored on the court! I’m sure that catering was shocked to see the keg was still half full by the end of the night!

Winky-Dinks are the ‘winners’ of week 1, atop the standings by one solitary point over Cadieux Café. I wouldn’t read anything into that considering how few matches were completed, but I guess the optics would be a mental boost. Much rather be first, right?

On my walkabouts upstairs last night, I did see the last few hits of the Matt Thatcher (Mongoose) v Paul Palinski (Nicker Ballers) encounter. Paul looked like he’d just came off a Stu Hadden interval track session, sunken red eye-sockets a clear indication of oxygen deprivation… or a hangover… or he was auditioning for the role of Emperor Palpatine in the Star Wars movies… or he’d been crying… Matt’s 2-1 victory may have indicated the latter of the options, but I’m assured it was the excessive running. Matt’s sly little smile also indicated he enjoyed every moment of Paul’s discomfort.

I’m not going to mention, however, bumping into Renée Fershée (Mongoose) as she was making her way to the… (cough, cough… rubs temples…) Pickleball court. Nor am I going to mention seeing Chris Moyer (Over Served) in the middle of his Pickleball match at the time. Because mentioning it may make someone uncomfortable. At least Chris also played his boasters match, so he does redeem himself a little.

Things are bound to pick up – but it will be very important for players to start arranging matches now and not let them pile up. Before you know, we’ll be 5 weeks in, and you’ll have a month left to play 8 opponents.