SUMMER SEMI SLUGFEST

Summer League semi-finals~~

Serves You Right v Point of No Return

It was close – just like it was in round 2 when these teams squared off. Back then, “Serves You Right” edged out the win by 2 points only, and this time the winning team got through by only five.

For the first time all season, “Serves You Right” were beaten on bonus points. “Point of No Return” collected 9 of them, one more than their opponents.  “Serves You Right” also had a sub stepping in for one of their most reliable players. Colin Bayer hadn’t lost a match all season either, but unfortunately could not play this week. With these two setbacks, could “Point of No Return” take advantage?

The evening started out well for “Serves You Right”. Jeff Gembis is getting more solid as the summer weeks progress and was too much for the scampering Dane Fossee with a 3-0 win. It was the first time these two had played against each other, I’m sure Dane will be gunning to play him again soon. “Serves You Right” continued on strongly as Josh Slominski took revenge on the round 2 result where he fell to Brian Bartes 2-1. A scrambling affair, Josh proved to be a little steadier this time around and pulled out a valuable 3-0 victory.

The news wasn’t all bad for “Point of No Return”. Tom Bejin scored 3 important points for them after taking Chato Hill for a tour de court; Josh Gershonowicz better hope he doesn’t have to stand in front of Judge Murphy anytime soon as he walked away with the 2-1 triumph; and Andrew Walawender stepped up from the previous week where he lost to Jim Smietana 2-1 and reversed the result this time around. (Jim was subbing for the absent Colin Bayer.)

However, as soon as “Point of No Return” would crawl back within a couple of points, “Serves You Right” would surge ahead again. Shail Arora came off the court bent over and heaving in gallons of oxygen, looking like he had just been slapped around by John Mann. But contrary to how it appeared, Shail had taken all 3 games. I guess amid the agony of exhaustion, I missed Shail’s sigh of relief! Paul Fershee then outplayed Peter Fromm to snatch all 3 games from him as well.

 When I received news of Ted Morris’s 2-1 victory for “Point of no Return” over Mike Rock (and according to Ted, I missed the ‘match-of-the-century’!) with one match left to play, “Serves You Right” were too far ahead to be caught. They had managed to overcome their obstacles and earn their way to the final next week. The last match was still completed – Jerry Rock lobbed and dropped his way to a 2-1 win over Alan Howard to only leave “Point of no Return” 5 points behind. Final score: 26-21.

Lob-Otomies v Technically Delinquent

This contest was even closer. This literally came down to the final match. Winner takes all. We’ll look at how we reached that point in the first place…

“Technically Delinquent” won against this team in round 5 but not all the matches were played. Bonus points would not be a factor here since both teams picked up 8 of them. The result would be decided on court. Sante Fratarcangeli gave them a good start with a hard fought, tight 2-1 win over Paul Huth and Bob Rogers complimented that with a solid 3-0 win of his own over Tom Fabbri. Bob’s match looked a little like Shail’s because when the two players walked off the court, Bob appeared the worse for wear. But I suppose that is how Bob always looks after playing squash!

Jay Bonahoom was the next to pick up a win for “Technically Delinquent” as he sent Jeff Jardine packing 3-0. Following suit, John Perkins dominated his opponent and put another 3 points on the board for his team. But the wins were starting to come in for the “Lob-Otomies” as well. Mike McCuish got the ball rolling with a 3-0 victory over Bert Donovan and not far behind him was Andy Petcoff also ripping off 3 consecutive games against Brian Schrage. Chris Tipton inched them even closer with a tough 2-1 win over Jim Miller, and after Kevin Prather’s 3-0 win, the two teams were tied 20 points apiece.

With one match reaming, all the pressure landed squarely on the two remaining players. “Technically Delinquent” was relying on Tom Healy and “Lob-Otomies” had their hopes lying all over Paul Flanagan. According to the match records, these two have only played each other in league or ladder 4 times. Paul has won 3 of those matches, including the last 2 meetings which were a 2-1 result. On paper, Paul would be slight favorite - but it really could go either way. I’m not sure either Tom or Paul were aware how much their result meant. I was not witness to the contest – they had organized the show down at a time that I crawl myself out from under the bed sheets cursing at my alarm clock.

No doubt, this epic battle eclipsed the Morris v Rock ‘match of the century’. The result was forwarded to me quietly and humbly. Healy -2 ; Flanagan – 1. With that win, “Technically Delinquent” gets through by the narrowest of margins, 22-21.

Gazing into my crystal ball, the final should be a bruising encounter. The teams played each other in round 6 and “Serves You Right” won 18-16. That day, both teams picked up the same amount of bonus points, and of the 8 matches completed, both teams won 4. Seven on those matches were 2-1. My crystal ball just went hazy. It failed to tell me who is going to win.

READY… SET… SPRINT!

Race Against the Clock Tournament – August 8

Shortening contests can be a great equalizer. Squash is generally a marathon wrapped around a series of small bursts, enveloped in a mental quagmire of continuous stress. Over the course of a 5 set match, the stronger player will typically end up on top. But what would happen if the extended time factor was removed?

I wonder how much more exciting soccer would be if matches were only 10 minutes long. Teams would be on the attack non-stop. It would remove the mind-numbing boringness of backwards passing amongst themselves simply to play ‘keepings-off” with the opposition. There would probably be more scoring too. I may even watch it. (Ha!) Would Usain Bolt be the fastest man on the planet if the 100m was reduced to 30 meters? How would baseball be played if teams only had 1 inning to score? What if the ‘Tour de France’ was shrunk to the ‘Tour de Liechtenstein’…? Silly questions, no doubt, but makes one wonder a little.

When a player of say a 3.5 standard plays against a player of a 4.0 level (for example), commonly the game scenario is one where the 3.5 player will keep up for a good portion of each game only to fade away at the ‘business’ end of it as he gets worn down through fitness and consistency. Would the result be different if the ‘business’ end of the game wasn’t necessary?

Let’s find out. Each match for this tournament will only be a few minutes long. The length of which will vary between 3 and 7 minutes. Your task is to win as many points as possible within the time limit assigned. So, you will not have time to wear down your opponent. Instead you will have to rely on your racquet skill to get you by. Take more risks; run a little harder… are you a better squash sprinter?? If, at the end of the time limit, the players are tied, a sudden death point will be played.

Players may be handicapped according to their level. Speaking of which, we’ll have a keg at hand for you to handicap yourself if you so choose! We will only be using the 2 courts downstairs for this one, and the format will be dependent on how many entrants we receive. A minimum of 16 players is required to run it. Matches start at 5pm, it shouldn’t take too long.

LOB-OTOMIES CLAIM SECOND

Summer league final round~~

It didn’t take terribly much. Last week, the “Lob-Otomies” were sitting 6^th and 8 points back of the last play-off spot. Now – as we look ahead to the semi final knock-out round next week - they find themselves as the second seed. Mainly due to the 30 points they picked up over the last week of play, including a handful of make-up matches (great effort people!) and the 8 matches they completed for the final round as well. What also helped the “Lob-Otomies” was the complete inactivity of the other teams. (Even though they were tied with "Technically Delinquent", they accumulated more bonus points.)

“Drop Dead Gorgeous” must have dropped dead completely. Third last week with, they did pick up some points through make-up matches (6), but only scored 1 solitary point for the final round. Now, they find themselves done for the season. The “Nick-Knacks” were almost just as absent. They scored 2 points and are also on the outside looking in. “Point of No Return” can count themselves lucky. Their 4 points was just enough to hold onto the 4^th and final play-off spot.

Statistics. How does this Summer League season look on paper? Where did teams succeed, where did they fail? Let’s see what the numbers tell us….

• ·         A total of 65% of matches were done for the season. That’s down from last year’s total of 71% and 11% lower than the record set in 2012.
• ·         “Serves You Right” played a league best 80% of their matches. They played at least 7 of 10 matches every round.
• ·         Surprisingly, the “Nick-Knacks” played the least amount of matches – 50%. “Coordination Zero” played 51% of their matches.
• ·         “Coordination Zero” also only won 36% of the matches they did play. The lowest of any team.
• ·         “Nick-Knacks” had the highest winning percentage of any team by a wide margin. They won 71% of matches. The next best team had 54%.
• ·         “Nick-Knacks” also had the lowest percentage of 3-0 losses with 14%. If only they played more…
• ·         “Serves you Right” broke 2 records: Most overall points in a summer league (136) and most bonus points collected (47). Impressive.
• ·         “Coordination Zero” collected the least amount of bonus points with 19. Not so impressive.
• ·         Colin Bayer (“Serves You Right”) scored the most points of any player with 22. He did not lose any matches although he did not play them all – he missed one.
• ·         Only 5 players picked up all 7 bonus points. Three of them came from “Serves You Right”.
• ·         10 players did not pick up any bonus points at all. None of them came from “Serves You Right”.
• ·         8 players completed all 7 matches. None of them went through undefeated.
• ·         “Drop Dead Gorgeous” was the only team that did not have a player complete all 7 matches.

Looking onto the semi-final match-ups, we have top seeded “Serves You Right” versus “Point of No Return”. These 2 teams played each other in round 2 and it was a very close 21-19 score line just leaning in “Serves You Right” favor. 9 of 10 matches were completed. This promises to be a tight contest, and too close to call to predict a winner.

The other semi has “Lob-Otomies” against “Technically Delinquent”. These teams squared off in round 5, with “Technically Delinquent” taking the honors 14-8 in a low scoring affair. Only 6 matches were completed and both teams picked up the same amount of bonus points that week, so on paper it would seem “Technically Delinquent” has the sight advantage. But that’s why we play the game… right, Brazil?

THE FIGHT FOR FOURTH

Summer league round 6~~

“Serves You Right” have all but wrapped up the season honors of finishing on top of the standings. There is still one week to play, but their 25 point cushion over second place “Point of No Return” is virtually out of reach. Once again they asserted dominance in the 6^th week of play with a league’s best 22 points (including make-up matches). They did however, falter on the bonus points this week with only 5. That’s their worst performance in that category this season. That being said, it was mind you, still equal best for the round.

“Lob-Otomies” have really given their finals chance a major blow. They only picked up 5 points since round 5, and only 2 so far for round 6. They were sitting pretty in second place after round 2 and now look destined to miss the finals unless they get their act together in the next 7 days. “Art of Incompetence” also didn’t do themselves any favors last night as they managed a big fat zero in bonus points. Not one player on their team turned up. They did help themselves, though, by scoring quite a few make up points over the week which does keep them barely in the hunt for the top 4. Being 13 points back isn’t impossible, but time is against them.

Currently fourth spot - and the last play-off position - is held by “Technically Delinquent” by only 3 points. With “Lob-Otomies” lack of activity, they moved up from 5^th on the ladder last week, and will need a strong performance in week 7 to hold onto that location. “Nick-Knacks” kept pace with them and are hot on their heels. Both teams have (so far) picked up the same amount of bonus points for the season, so if that holds true for round 7 and they end up tied for fourth, the tie-break falls to the head-to-head match-up. Unless make-up matches are completed during the week, as it stands, “Nick-Knacks” are winning that week by 1 point.

Over 75% of yesterday’s played matches ended up 2-1. Jim Smietana (“Coordination Zero”) finally managed to notch up his first win in four tries against Julie VandeVusse (“Nick-Knacks”) with a 2-1 victory. I’m sure Julie will be eager for revenge the next time they meet, so Jim should savor this moment! John Parnell took home a 2-1 win for the “Nick Knacks” taking care of the ever wilier John Hanley (“Coordination Zero”). And Sante once again owes money to John Mann (“Point of No Return”) after betting that he would lose to Justin Winkelman (“Drop Dead Gorgeous”). John won – just – 2-1.

As the match deadline races towards you at lightning speed, there is literally no more time to waste. Especially with the Independence Day weekend coming up. It will be a struggle for many to get matches in; you only have until next Tuesday to do it.

FIREWORKS IN DETROIT

Summer League round 5~~

A lot of fireworks took place during round 5 of the DAC summer league. No, no, not on our squash courts, but on the Detroit riverfront where the annual shooting-off-pretty-explosions-in-the-sky attract thousands of people from all over the state and cause the highways to be shut down. Turnout for the fireworks was a lot lower than anticipated, and the turnout for the squash was pretty much as anticipated – minimal.

Of course, that didn’t stop “Serves You Right” from still picking up 7 bonus points, keeping up their significant average for the season. The summer league teams do not have any captains, but special mention must be awarded to Josh Slominski who has taken on that job anyway. It’s remarkable what an encouraging e-mail can do once or twice a week to the team players. Their ever increasing lead atop the standings is proof in the pudding.

For the next couple of weeks, the remaining 7 teams will be competing for the other three finals positions. In a surprise move, the team that picked up the second most points this week (16) was “Art of Incompetence”. Lingering 7 points back at the back of the standings last week, they pushed themselves all the way to 7^th position, jumping over “Coordination Zero” who picked up the least amount of points this week with an inadequate 6. “Art of Incompetence” still have work to do if they wish to make it to the post-season, but at least they have now given themselves some glimmer of hope. Sixteen points in two weeks is still a lot to make up, however.

In individual performances for round 5, Esther Thomas (“Nick-Knacks”) continues to fly the “girl-power” flag high and mighty with her 4^th 2-1 win of the season. She is yet to lose a match. Jeff Gembis (“Serves You Right”) has been struggling this summer to find his winter form, but slowly it’s returning. He scored his first win of the season with a 2-1 triumph over Scott Langenburg (“Art of Incompetence”). Steve Boloven (“Point of No Return”) handed John Parnell (“Nick-Knacks”) his first loss of the season with a strong 2-1 victory. Steve has now scored the most points (so far) for his team this season.

We have 2 rounds to go. Time flies. Mark July 8 on your calendars because that is the last day you can get your matches in. You don’t want to be the team that misses out on the finals by one point because you arranged your make-up match on the 9^th by mistake…

PLAYING SMART

“Timed-Handicap-Quiz-Team-Squash-Tournament” ~ Friday, July 11

We all play squash for the benefits the exercise gives our bodies. It makes us all look like professional athletes, chisels our muscles, makes us taller, gives us eternal life, and most importantly gives us the excuse to drink beer. While being a squash player certainly turns us into superior human beings physically, we really should be giving our brains a similar work-out too, tight? I mean, what good are we parading around like Gods and Goddesses if we can’t even spell out names correctly?

So, to force the machinery inside your skulls to get up to speed, we have a unique tournament format that will test not only your on-court squash competency, but your aptitude dexterity as well. I for one spend time on weekends on my daughter’s i-Pad practicing my thinking processes by figuring out how to maneuver Dave the Minion through the streets of Gru’s neighborhood picking up bananas and not crashing into obstacles. It’s difficult, you know, I can’t let my guard down for a second…

The squash portion of the event is the easiest. There will be 2 teams. I will match you up with a player of similar ability and you play one non-stop game for 20 minutes straight. That’s right, you are not allowed to hop off court for a drink, rest, a towel-down, a chat, to send a text message, check your facebook account, or play a game of “Despicable Me” on your i-Pad. Your task is to simply accumulate as many points as possible. If I cannot find an opponent of the same standard, I will give out a handicap to even it up.

Once all the squash is completed, each team will then sit down together to answer a quiz that I have expertly put together. The quiz is in 3 parts: DAC knowledge; Squash knowledge (international); and basic general knowledge. Each correct answer in the quiz will be worth a certain amount of points.

Then, adding together the squash and quiz totals, we should be able to determine the winning team. Keep in mind that the highest squash point total will be discarded in order to even it out in case of any blow-outs.

Simple enough? Remember, as always, a keg will be available to help you lubricate your bodies and keep them the fine tuned organisms you have trained them to be. There must be a minimum of 16 players registered to run the event. Registration deadline is July 7.