TIME FOR THE BLITZ KRIEG!

Achtung! Looking for a quick, easy, fun, social squash event that won’t tax your body terribly much unless you attack the keg a little too vigorously? Then, Standuppenundsquashen! (Translation: “this is the tournament for you!”) Enter the Blitz Tournament for a chance to match wits against a variety of opponents playing one speedy game to 15 points.

This event has two stages. Firstly, the Kattleherden (Translation: “group”) phase. Everybody will be placed in a group of 4-5 players of assorted standards and complete a Lastenmannstanden (Translation: “round robin”.) Each ‘match’ will be one game to 15 points using point-a-rally scoring with no tie-break. If the score reaches 14-all, you play a Losenpointenundveeshooten (Translation: “sudden death rally”.) Handicaps will be issued to even up the competition and to place a lot more pressure on the higher ranked members. These handicaps are subject to change if both players agree to do so, or if I feel I have miscalculated and need to adjust them.

Then, secondly, comes the finals stage. The top two players of each group will advance to a Headkrackendownenfallen (Translation: “knock-out draw”.) In the case of a tie in the group phase, the players will draw straws to see who advances. Handicaps will also be issued in the knock-out stage. The top three place getters will receive a prize.

This will be the 8^th running of this event and we have never had a repeat winner and on top of that the first place getter has ranged from a 2.5 level to a 5.0 level. In other words, anyone can win this.

The Blitz Tournament is scheduled for Friday, October 14. Matches start at 5pm and depending on how many people play, it should take a couple of hours. If you want to be a part of this entertaining tournament, make sure you Veearrestennallenlatenregistrieren (Translation: “I need all registrations by Wednesday, October 12”.) I must have a minimum 16 players to host it, but no more than 40. And of course, Drinkendieyummybeeren (Translation: “Naturally the keg will be chilled and ready for consumption”.) There is no fee to enter, but you do have to be a Blackballer to participate.