Thursday, December 29, 2011

SQUASH SHOTS XII

The “Mickies” Awards for 2011

Keeping up with the season of giving, it is once again time to hand out the “Mickies”! Absurdly frivolous awards that really don’t do anything except take the ‘Mickey’ out of you. 2011 has been another magnificent year for the DAC Squash program. Court usage is up, we won the Cross Border Challenge against Windsor in September, the DAC Classic is bursting at the seams, and showing our unsurpassed generosity, we let the BAC borrow the Farris Cup. A special year deserves special awards, so here are this year’s winners…

The “I’m In The Wrong Age Category” award goes to… James Van Dyke!
An unsuspecting James played very well during the 2011 DAC Squash Classic in the 3.0 division. Meeting him in the final was none other than 13 year old Charlie Beauregard – a charming young ‘man’ from the BAC. Naturally, you would think a burly 32 year old would be able to swat away such a feeble bodied opponent but alas squash is a funny game. Not funny for James mind you – he lost the final in 5 games.

The “Beaten By A Sheila” award goes to… Sante Fratarcangeli and Jason Trombley!
Or, better put – Sheilas! Our two young studs decided to risk humiliation by electing to play doubles in the Cross Border Challenge against Windsor. A very hazardous assignment given that our record on the doubles court against anyone outside our own walls is anything but stellar. The Windsor women can’t seem to be intimidated and duly sent our boys packing after 3 swift, crushing games. Thankfully, the DAC reclaimed the Cross Border trophy anyway that day – and at least Sante redeemed himself by winning his singles match.

The “What Ever Happened To This Guy” award goes to… Rob Welch!

He’s probably currently in some exotic location, wrestling lions and drinking ‘Dos Equis’, conjuring up another eccentric adventure. Rob Welch is still a member, and left for a “couple of months” to California over the summer, never to be seen since. Here he is in a familiar pose / position surrounded by beautiful women during the Toledo Open back in March. (I do of course talk in jest - we all hope for Rob’s return to Detroit and the DAC soon and his when he does I can’t wait to hear about all of his Californication.)

The “Here’s Looking at You Kid” award goes to… Anthony Fracchia!

Who is Anthony pointing at? I’m not sure this is the hand signal you want to be making in Detroit and his devious smile may suggest some sinister going on in his mind, but when you win back-to-back Holiday Tournaments (this year’s honors were shared with Derek Aguirre) I guess you earn the right to ‘showboat’ a little. But seriously, Anthony is a great competitor and his enjoyment with his squash (and rapid improvement) is obvious. This is Anthony’s second “Mickies” award, to go with his “I Wonder What It Is?” award from last year – a photo also taken from the Holiday Tournament. Clearly, he likes his booze wrapped up in colorful paper.

The “Imper-SUH-nator” award goes to… David Pontes!
Carrying on the Detroit Lions tradition of kicking your opponent when their down, after David Pontes makes quick work of Justin Winkelman on the squash court during the Keg Challenge, he wastes no time in digging the boot in. David swears it was a complete accident, as he lost balance and was merely attempting to extract his foot out of the middle of Justin’s back after he inexplicably dove under it. No one is buying it, Dave… I doubt there will be a two game suspension this being his first offence, but we may have to keep a closer eye on him.

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