Monday, November 16, 2015


Holiday Tournament - Friday, Dec 4

‘Twas three weeks before Christmas, and all through the courts
Were a bunch of keen squash players, squeezing into their shorts
With some wobbly looking stretches from their necks to their legs
You can’t tell if their prep is for the squash or the keg!

For the twelfth year running, the Holiday Tournament is here
The first Friday of December, it always reappears
A ‘Swiss System’ the format, four matches guaranteed
All in one draw, no handicapping or seeds.

Three games to seven, will be each match you play
It doesn’t sound like much but by the end of the day
Your body will ache and will want a strong lift
So we make sure you depart with a worthy enough gift!

To enter this tournament there is a compulsory charge
But don’t worry too much it isn’t very large
A gift that is wrapped worth at least twenty bucks
And below a few rules so that gift doesn’t suck:

Cash is a big no-no, you can be more inspired
Just imagine a gift that you would also desire
Potpourri is out, it would receive a reaction
Of horror and disgust, pure dissatisfaction.

And for obvious reasons, any drug must be barred
Since one year we had Viagra, (that decision isn’t hard!)
Canary yellow t-shirts, it’s a fashion monstrosity
And muffins half-eaten... well that’s just an atrocity!

One more thing to remember, when you sign up to compete
Do not ask your squash pro - that is simply a cheat -
An hour before start, to put together a lot
Of stuff from my office because you simply forgot.

The deadline to enter if you are playing for sure
Is December the second, we can take only twenty-four
It’s a wonderful time, and we encourage the keen
To come dressed up in the spirit, don your red and green!

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