WE WISH YOU A SQUASHY CHRISTMAS

Holiday Tournament - Friday, Dec 4

‘Twas three weeks before Christmas, and all through the courts

Were a bunch of keen squash players, squeezing into their shorts

With some wobbly looking stretches from their necks to their legs

You can’t tell if their prep is for the squash or the keg!

For the twelfth year running, the Holiday Tournament is here

The first Friday of December, it always reappears

A ‘Swiss System’ the format, four matches guaranteed

All in one draw, no handicapping or seeds.

Three games to seven, will be each match you play

It doesn’t sound like much but by the end of the day

Your body will ache and will want a strong lift

So we make sure you depart with a worthy enough gift!

To enter this tournament there is a compulsory charge

But don’t worry too much it isn’t very large

A gift that is wrapped worth at least twenty bucks

And below a few rules so that gift doesn’t suck:

Cash is a big no-no, you can be more inspired

Just imagine a gift that you would also desire

Potpourri is out, it would receive a reaction

Of horror and disgust, pure dissatisfaction.

And for obvious reasons, any drug must be barred

Since one year we had Viagra, (that decision isn’t hard!)

Canary yellow t-shirts, it’s a fashion monstrosity

And muffins half-eaten... well that’s just an atrocity!

One more thing to remember, when you sign up to compete

Do not ask your squash pro - that is simply a cheat -

An hour before start, to put together a lot

Of stuff from my office because you simply forgot.

The deadline to enter if you are playing for sure

Is December the second, we can take only twenty-four

It’s a wonderful time, and we encourage the keen

To come dressed up in the spirit, don your red and green!