BUSY. BUSTLING. BOASTERS.

Boasters League round 2~~

Nothing like the endless sound of squash balls thwacking against the wall for hours on end to ease the mind. It was great to see the activity level last night, players lining up to get on court, lining up watching the matches and lining up to grab a beer!

Just about every team is doing well in the bonus point department so far, people are turning up in numbers. Still, even with the amount of play, there are still many matches to be completed for the first two rounds. “Butter Nutz” have extended their lead atop the standing to 10 points over “Space Geckos” and “Vivio’s”, but it is still too early to get overly excited about that.  The other teams are not that far back… hopefully everyone can keep up with Sante’s crew.

There were many matches to choose from that could be highlighted. The ones that raised my bushy eye-brows the most were… Ryan Bendzinski (“Butter Nutz”) taking 2 out of 3 games from Fred Fordon (“Space Geckos”). Ryan politely left me a message on my voice mail about the win expressing how tough a match it was! Chris Tipton (“Mongoose”) having to come back twice in 2 of the games against Nick Petcoff (“Nick at Night”) for his 2-1 victory, leaving Nick pondering all of the missed opportunities. Alan Howard (“The Nicker Ballers”) running himself and Shail Arora (“Foss Nation”) to exhaustion (which is tough to do with Shail!) as he was relieved with his 2-1 win; and Josh Slominski (“Space Geckos”) avenging a recent loss to Jordan Ellis (“Butter Nutz”) with a no doubt satisfying 2-1 triumph.

Liz McClure. Perfect form.

I will take this opportunity to mention that up to date the highest point getter in the entire league goes to none other than Liz McClure of the “Butter Nutz”. She is the only player to turn up both weeks, win 3-0, and attend the referee clinic that was held at the end of September. I am sure Sante is very proud.

Looking ahead to week 3, “Foss Nation” need to get their act together a little as they endure the ‘bye’ week. Currently 7^th on the standings they are in real danger of slipping way off the radar as I’m sure the 8^th and 9^th teams will overtake easily unless make up matches are done. So play, play, play!

TIMES OF LONDON

Nash Cup - September 26-28

The matches were tough. Competitors were determined to give it their all. Emotions ran high not just with the players, but through the enthusiastic on-lookers as well. Thrills of victory were equally met with the agonies of defeat. As the tournament went on, it was clear that ball control was becoming more of an issue. Contestants were now relying on luck rather than skill, it was becoming harder to focus, stand up, how far could they push themselves before the imminent collapse? Minutes turned into... longer minutes... the field dwindled and in a shock result, most of us couldn’t really believe who was the lone survivor...

... but enough about the beer pong.

The real reason behind London’s Nash Cup is the squash. I forget how many years I have played this event, the novelty doesn’t seem to wear off. It does, without a doubt, get tougher every year to compete. I only had 2 matches for the weekend, and it still took me almost 3 days to get rid of the muscle soreness. Soreness, it seems, that appears in parts of my body that it never used to. I can blame most of that pain on my finals opponent, Bruce Burrowes. Bruce is Jamaican, his accent thick and rich. If you haven’t met him, you picture a stereotypical Rastafarian in your head, but Bruce is not stereotypical. Nor is his squash.

However, like many other Jamaicans, he can run fast. That’s not good news for a 43 year old. The insolence of actually running down my “winners” is unreservedly disrespectful. Keeping me on court so long, utterly cruel. But handing me a 14-12 in the 5th victory... now that was exquisite. In all seriousness, I got away with one. Nothing more than experience dropped me (literally) over the line, Bruce ran me ragged.

One of the perks of playing London is being able to watch the professionals. The Friday evening featured two men’s semi finals. Luckily, I do not make my living as a clairvoyant. I would be destitute if that was the case. Last year’s winner, Joe Lee from England (world number 34) was my favorite heading into the event and  he was up against his countryman Eddie Charlton (world number 51). The first two games were rather one sided - in Eddie’s favor. It looked like it was going to be a 3-0 win to the underdog, but the third was a complete reversal as Joe rolled through it 11-3. With all the momentum going into the 4th, Joe appeared to have steadied the ship, but he rolled his ankle 2 rallies in and was forced to retire.

The second semi had unseeded German Jens Schoor (world rank 69) against second seed Karim Ali Fathi from Pakistan (world rank 48). This contest was a lot closer even though the word on the street was that the Pakistani was going to win 3-0. Jens battled from 2 games to 1 down and with plenty of guts and determination pinched the 5 game 11-8.

The third match on the Friday was the women’s pro final. Egyptian Kanzy El Defrawi (world number 61) certainly went in as favorite. She only dropped 12 points combined in her first 2 rounds, and won the semi 3-0 as well. She was facing off with Canadian Hollie Naughton (ranked 71) who had a tougher time reaching the final, her second match a tight 5-setter. Even though the girls are ranked just 10 places apart, the squash didn’t reflect it. On this particular day, El Defrawi was clearly dominate in all aspects of the game. Naughton looked a little impatient and too often forced the issue only to continuously rattle the tin. The 3-0 took less than 30 minutes.

Jens Schoor. In the zone!

The men’s final on Saturday will be remembered not for the length of time it took, or the excitement, or the closeness - because it wasn’t - but for the remarkable performance of Jens Schoor. Based on the two semis, I had thought Eddie would take the title either 3-0 or 3-1. Again, no pay day for “Mick the Predictor”. What a horrible clairvoyant I am. Jens was sublime. Jens was jumping out of his skin. Jens couldn’t have hit an error even if he wanted to. Jens took poor Eddie to task and cleaned his clock 3-0 in just over 30 minutes. Jens was also overly ecstatic in his victory - he deserved to be.

As I say often enough, the only disappointing aspect of the weekend was that no other DAC representative joined me. You are missing out. Opportunities like these don’t come up often and it surprises me no one takes advantage. It’s an easy drive, a wonderfully social club, much sought after tough squash, invaluable experience, and not a budget destroyer.

Lastly, endless thanks needs to be handed out to the London Squash Club for hosting - Rob Doherty, you went above and beyond; Tom Panabaker, I appreciate your generosity; Ron Henry, I owe you a gatorade amongst a couple other drinks!; and all the wonderful members too many to mention... except for Shrini, you permanent advertisement for whitening toothpaste, one simply cannot be not happy to see you. And to the man that makes it all possible - the one who puts it all together, sponsors it, promotes it, plays in it, emcee’s it. The one and only 2014 Beer Pong champion... Jay Nash!

BIGGER. BETTER. BOASTERS.

Boasters League round 1~~

And awaaaay we go! With a record 153 participants, the league has once again reached record numbers. A huge boost has come from the higher level players of the club who have decided to jump in and join the fray. It is fantastic for the membership that the club’s best are getting involved. Many of them have also joined the box ladders (which has reached record numbers as well of 170 players this month). Over 50 players in this season’s boasters league are new, which is tremendous – but it did cause a rather large headache when I had to rank them… a good problem to have.

Round one last was a rather busy affair. Taking the early lead on the standings is “Butter Nutz”, the 2-time reigning boasters league champions, clearly looking for the 3-peat. Of course it’s way too early to predict anything at this stage, and the teams are tightly bunched together. Consistency will be the key, and much emphasis has been placed on the pro-active approach of the team captains motivating and communicating with the players. “The Nicker Ballers” had the bye for week 1, hence the zero points.

Close matches were abound yesterday – in fact about 70% of the results so far have ended up 2-1. New member Chris Webber (no, not the basketball player!) took down Justin Winkelman 2-1 in his debut; Joe Moran (“Space Geckos”) was very worried when he met his opponent Seth Helfman (“ViVio’s”) seeing how young, lean and fit he appeared. Joe’s advantage was experience however, and he had just enough of it to take the 2-1 victory; Ryan Gannon (“Winky-Dinks”) also managed a victory in his first ever league match with a tight 2-1 win over Lauren Kirchner (“Nick at Night”); and Steve Murphy (“Wardogs”) pulled out a 2-1 triumph over the speedy Brian Schrage (“Foss Nation” in their opener.

Like always, there is much rearranging and already plenty of matches need to be completed. Make sure you don’t wait long to get these done – they will pile up very quickly. Your captains should be bugging you to play them so if you don’t want to be nagged, get on the court!

READY TO TACKLE WINDSOR

Windsor Tournament October 24-26

Fresh off our annihilation in the Cross Border Challenge, with a sinister smirk, the carrot has once again been dangled tantalizing in front of our faces as Windsor host their annual ‘Fall Down Classic’. And just like the Wile E. Coyote who cannot stop himself from chasing the Road Runner no matter how disastrous his previous infinite attempts have been, we can’t (shouldn’t) resist the opportunity to have a stab at glory.

Our chances are somewhat better than the Coyote’s, as there have been some DAC winners in Windsor over the years. Plus, unless you have a racquet manufactured by a company called “ACME”, it shouldn’t blow up in your face, strangle you, slam you into a wall, or throw you off a mile high cliff. Hopefully, it will simply hit the ball … within those red lines.

If you are keen to improve your squash, then it is imperative that you do not miss out on events like these. There are not a lot of tournaments available to us in Detroit, so you should take advantage when you can. Playing matches outside of the DAC walls, on courts you aren’t used to, against people who don’t know you and simply want to take you to task, is an experience you won’t get any other way. Learn how to handle such conditions, learn what it takes to win under pressure and what is expected of you. Simply put: Toughen up.

And to compete successfully in Windsor is tough. Their categories are A (5.0+); B (4.0 – 4.9); C (3.1 – 3.9); D (3.0 and lower); 40+; 50+; Women’s A; Women’s B; Doubles A, B and mixed. Because of a wider range of players within each category, you will need to be ready to work extra hard and push yourself. It will be challenging, but as I mentioned above, it is a vital practice for everybody. There will also be an Open category where I will be playing.

Click on the poster to see all the details and how to enter. Registration deadline is October 13. You will need to register directly with Windsor. If you are on the fence, let me push you off it… do it.

BATTLE OF WITS FOR THE BLITZ

Blitz Tournament – Friday October 10

What’s with all push for fitness, huh? Run further, jump higher, lift heavier… Whatever happened to cutting corners? Taking the easy way out. Why drag something out when you can end it straight away and then move on? Of course, that attitude would completely contradict every philosophy about squash, but don’t let that stop us as we rush you through the first Blitz Tournament of the season!

I think Usain Bolt has it right. All this guy does is run for less than 10 seconds, and he’s hailed as a God, adored by the world and has enough money to buy whatever he wants. It’s not as if he’s doing anything special – just about anyone can run for 10 seconds. Since we are in the realm of absurdity here, I read somewhere that Bolt receives around $250,000 per meet, which if you calculate the 9.8 seconds he runs his race, makes him earn $91,000,000 per hour! It got me thinking what other sporting events take only a split second of time to complete, but nothing I found comes even close to Bolt’s figures.

Which brings us to Blitz Squash. Matches in this event have known to last less than 60 seconds. Mind you, we’ve also had games lasting longer than 10 minutes, so you definitely may need to work hard anyway. You’ll get (approx) 4 matches minimum, each match being one game to 15 points. Handicaps will be assigned and in some cases it is not unusual for one to walk on court with a 13 point lead. (It is also not unusual for such match-ups to last only 2 rallies as the chasing player clobbers 2 tins in quick succession!) For a lucky few that survive the group stage, there will be a knock-out draw to determine the top 3 place getters.

As is customary for such events at the DAC, we will wheel the keg out. Now, don’t get tricked into thinking that your consumption prowess needs to match the theme of the tournament. No extra points will be awarded for downing your beverage in record time, it may, however, impress any witnesses. Or disgust them.

Don’t be shy – players of all levels are invited to participate. Experience new opponents and meet new people. These events are built on the social side. We need a minimum 16 players to run it; you do need to be a Blackballer to play. Registration deadline is Wednesday, October 8. Your hourly rate for this event? Zero. But we give you beer. And a good social time.