“PICKLED ONIONS” CONTINUE STRONG START

Considering the weather, the turn out for last night’s league was pretty respectable. About 50% more than week 1 - an encouraging sign. If this keeps up, then next season we may have an argument to include a Monday night keg as well. Of course a league fee would have to be implemented but that is a discussion for another day.

The “Pickled Onions” have had an admirable 2 weeks so far. They haven’t played the most matches – four other teams have played more – nor do they have the most bonus points (they are 3rd in that category), but they have only lost a total of 1 match so far. It’s still a little early to predict if this trend will continue, but if they keep on track they’ll be a tough unit to beat.

On the other end of the spectrum, the “Rotten Tomatoes” have played the least amount of matches, are second lowest in bonus points, and to make matters worse have only won 1 match. Hence, they sit in last position. Now, it isn’t exactly time to panic. But I suggest they don’t wait too long to get their matches in, playing 5 of 16 matches in the first two rounds will not get you to the play-offs!

Only one player has accumulated the maximum 8 points for the first 2 rounds: Anil Kathuria of the “Cold Turkeys”. In fact, Anil has over 50% of his team’s total. Let’s hope his team mates start showing him some support.

Round 3 is not scheduled until June 7. That gives everybody a couple of weeks to catch up on missed matches. Your team mates are relying on you to do your part. If you don’t make the finals, at least you went down fighting…hopefully.

LUKE WARM START TO THE SUMMER LEAGUE

Not exactly a sizzling start for the 2010 Summer League, the first night of action only saw 10 out of a possible 32 matches played. With few players turning up, it may just increase the importance of that bonus point. Three teams picked up 5 bonus points each and surprise, surprise, they occupy 3 of the top 4 spots in the standings already. Considering that only the top 4 teams will be advancing to the finals and there are only 7 rounds to get there, teams may find themselves falling behind awfully quickly with very little time to catch up.

The “Pickled Onions” have taken command of the standings early winning 3 of their 4 matches yesterday over the “Fruit Loops”, with Brandon Dobbins making a strong statement to all the other number 6’s in the league as he claimed a sound 3-0 victory over Chuck Doyle. Brandon’s team mate and new comer, Brian Rosman, also had a great start winning 3-0 against Rob Wilson.

Mike McCuish of “Sour Grapes” tackled another new face in Mike Rock (“Bitter Lemons”). Probably giving away 30 years (give or take…), Mike McCuish managed to win 3-0, but in his e-mail to me the next day he said he had to work so hard for the win that he’ll need at least one week to recover!

Hopefully the attendance will improve in the coming rounds, and players will not leave their make-up matches until the final week – which is less than 2 months away.

THE SINGLES CLUB CHAMPIONSHIPS

The pinnacle of the 2009-2010 season, the Club Championships is the one tournament where players can really judge themselves on where they stand in the club. There are no excuses here, it’s put up or shut up, and let your racquet do all the trash-talking for you!

2.5 category – James claims the games…
For all the winners this year, and not diminishing anyone else’s performance, I think I am more pleased with this result than any other. James Van Dyke [pictured left] has been working on his squash, taking lessons and practicing hard; and the pay-off is evident. The top 4 seeds reached the semi final of the 2.5 draw, and both of those matches could have turned out differently to what they did. James battled with last year’s finalist Shail Arora, well known for his speed and tenacity. The two had a monumental 5 game battle and James did the unlikely – he made Shail tired – and managed to finish him off in the 5th. Andrew Spohn won the other semi 3-1 over new-comer Brandon Dobbins, a match that easily could have gone to 5 games as well. For the final, James controlled Andrew from the get-go and did not relinquish control. His 3-0 win a testament to all the effort he has been putting in.

3.0 category – The Matt that’s all that…
The number one question I had for this event was: who was going to stop Bob Rogers? Bob has been virtually unstoppable since he started playing at the DAC back in the summer of 2009, and in fact he won his first 40 matches before recording his first loss. He reached the semi final rather comfortably where he came up against Matt Didio. Matt had cruised to the semi final round as well, and it appeared that he had hit form at the perfect time. He was able to stop the ‘Rogers Express’ with an excellent 3-1 win, stepping into the final against last year’s 3-0 winner, Arnaud Mangin (pronounced “R-no”; it’s French!). Arnaud suffered a nasty foot injury at the beginning of the winter that had him side-lined for much of the season and his preparation for the club championships was minimal. But there are no excuses. Matt outplayed Arnaud in all 3 games for the 3-0 win, and for me, was the biggest surprise winner of the tournament. [Pictured: Matt Didio with his wife, Angela]

3.5 category: Heartbreaker for Baker…
Without a doubt, this final was the match of the club championships. It’s been the most talked about amongst the members, and both players have been admired for their effort, sportsmanship, and level of play. Matt Jarboe and Brien Baker [pictured left] both reached the final but neither of them had it easy. Matt won his first round 3-2 and the semi 3-1 to get there, and Brien won his first two matches 3-2 before dispatching last year’s finalist Rich Stimson 3-0 in the semi. I predicted this match would be tough, and to state the obvious, it was. Matt jumped out to an early lead and snapped up the first 2 games. Never one to quit, Brien knuckled down for the next 2 games to take the match to a 5th. It was a real ball-burtsing, gut-wrenching, lung-rupturing adventure. Nor could it have been any closer. Matt won the battle 10-9 in the 5th but in reality – and to be very cliché – there were no losers in that match. Both players have to be lauded… and both players will be playing at least the 4.0 next season.

4.0 category: Gembis v Ward yet to cross swords…
Since Paul Ward played the 4.5 final on this day, the 4.0 final has been postponed – result still pending…

4.5 category: Scott’s got the shots…
A small draw this year for the 4.5 category. Only 6 entrants (as opposed to 13 last year) and 5 of those were also in the 4.0 draw! The only stand-out was Jim Stroh who lost his first match to Paul Ward 3-1. The handful of players in the draw are all of a similar playing standard, so this title was literally up for grabs for any one of the six. Jeff Gembis lost to Scott Adlhoch in the semi final 3-1, but in the 4.0 draw he beat Scott 3-1 to get to that final. On paper, the Adlhoch v Ward match had all the makings of another long, run-filled expedition. Up until the final, Paul had been playing very well and was full of confidence. Funny how things can turn on you. Also, maybe it was a mental block – Scott had beaten Paul 6 times in a row dating back to October 2008. This ended up being number 7. Paul struggled for the three games to find the rhythm that got him to the final in the first place and Scott wasn’t taking any prisoners either. The 3-0 victory for was an excellent follow-up on Scott’s 2009 4.0 club championship win- also over Paul.

5.0 category: Rock of Gibraltar Rakolta…
This was the hardest of all the draws to organize. I counted anyone of 8 players to win this one, as on any given day, the results can go either way. But lately, one of the players has been slowly lifting their game and is beginning to dominate the others. Defending 5.0 champ Peter Shumaker reached the final again winning all of his lead-up matches 3-0. Meeting him there was John Rakolta. Although John has gone through recent patches of inconsistency, overall he has improved his squash noticeably. Finer court coverage, better mental toughness, greater steadiness. He would need all of these attributes to overcome Peter who continues to defy the odds year after year with his downright doggedness, experience, and staying power that simply must be admired. The intense match was a fascinating tussle between the two contrasting styles. Verifying John’s progression over the last 12 months (he won the 4.5 category last year); he won this match 3-1. He is now ready to tackle the top tier players. [Pictured: Peter Shumaker and John Rakolta]

Open category: Clockwork Kirk…
It was fantastic to see the Open draw filled with the younger guys wanting a crack at the ‘old-school’ crowd. It was eye-opening for them to get on court and see exactly what they need in order to compete at that level – and the work required to get there. The absence of the 2009 champion Peter Logan (recovering from knee surgery) opened the door for different finalist to challenge Kirk Haggarty for the title. Kirk had to get through 2 rounds to reach the final and he did so untroubled. John Birgbauer was tipped to be his opponent but that almost didn’t happen. In a huge scare, that would have been the upset of the championships, John Rakolta was one rally away from knocking John B. out. He was 8-6 in the 5th up – match-ball – before failing to close out the match and eventually went down 10-8. For the final, apart from being 2-3 down in the first game, Kirk was always in the lead forcing John to play catch-up. At 2 games to 0 up, and 5-0 up in the 3rd, it looked like the match - and John - was done. But slowly and unpredictably, the momentum started to change. Maybe John relaxed more, but he started to hit better, more controlled length, started to hold his shots and wrong-foot Kirk, and started to inch closer on the score board. One rally a time, John got back to 6-7 and threatened to snatch the game away. But it was not to be. Three quick rallies to end it, and Kirk shut the comeback down. Kirk Haggarty becomes the 2010 DAC Club Champion – congratulations! And, adding to this fine achievement, this is Kirk’s 10th singles title! [Pictured: John Birgbauer and Kirk Haggarty]

The Doubles Club Championships

‘A’ Draw: Kirk breaks a 10 year drought –
As dominate as Kirk Haggarty has been in the singles event, the last time he won the Doubles Club Championship was way back in the year 2000. Back then he paired up with John Birgbauer. For the last handful of years, it’s been the hard hitting Mike Eugenio but up until now, success has eluded them. Their nemesis for the past 2 years has been Peter Logan and John Birgbauer and once again they would have to get by this pair to take the title. Both teams reached the final comfortably with 3-0 victories in the semi. Very little separated the teams. The first game went to overtime with Eugenio / Haggarty coming away with the 1-0 lead. They also won the second game to take a 2-0 advantage which is a huge hurdle to overcome if you are chasing – no matter who you are. Still, Logan / Birgbauer picked up their game in the third and narrowed the gap to extend the match to a fourth. This too, went to a tie-break. At 16-17 down, the Eugenio / Haggarty team ripped off a couple of outright winners (whether they were on purpose or not depends on who you ask!) to close out the game 18-17 and claim the title of 2010 DAC Doubles Club Champions. Congratulations lads!

‘B’ Draw: Experience triumphs over youth –
Ryan Bendzinski and Rich Stimson went into the B draw as defending champions and the number one seed. They had little trouble reaching the final again, losing only one game in their first round against Mike Hayden and Jay Poplawski, and after a convincing 3-0 victory over Peter Shumaker and Paul Doherty in the semi, it appeared a repeat was on the cards. But of course nothing is a given and the John Dunwoody / Chris Terry team are experienced and play together regularly which is a huge plus for any successful doubles pair. They reached the final easily enough winning both of their encounters 3-0. The final went over an hour, took 5 games, and was decided in the tie-break. At 13-13 in the 5th, the call was made for a 5-point tie-break. I am sure the Bendzinski / Stimson team felt confident that the longer the match took the better chances they had - especially against older opponents. However, maybe it was nerves, maybe they tensed up, but whatever the reason, they failed to win one more rally. Dunwoody / Terry won the 5th game 18-13 on a 5-point tear. No mistakes, playing steady, a little more conservative: a little experience goes a long way. [Picture: The B finalists]

‘C’ Draw: New, young blood makes some noise –
Andy Housey is not new to the doubles game. But his partner – Anthony Fracchia – was. Anthony’s doubles experience was literally non-existent. He had to learn during the tournament which is a difficult thing to do. The doubles ball does not bounce or move like a singles one. I once played a pro-am at the BAC against a top 15 world ranked singles player who had never played doubles before. On the first serve he tried to receive, he whiffed completely. As the pro on his team, he was the weaker link. So, I can imagine how Anthony must have felt initially. Full credit to him though, he picked it up relatively well. Reaching the final they were up against the lot more experienced team of Joe Moran and Peter Fortune. Moran / Fortune didn’t drop a single game on the way to the final, and on paper, with their knowledge of the game, I gave them the edge. But what Anthony lacks in doubles “know-how” he makes up for it in speed and determination. Putting that together with Andy Housey’s somewhat awkward technique that can half the time bite him on the rear end or, on the other half, turn into gold, the team can be unpredictably dangerous. On this day, experience did not triumph over youth. It was close, but Housey / Fracchia earned themselves a well fought 3-1 win and the C doubles title.

THE DOUBLES 100

Believe it or not, the Doubles 100 Tournament just finished last night. I am sure many of you had forgotten all about it which is no surprise given that it started over 3 months ago. The event has the stipulation that the combined ages of each doubles team is at least 100 years – not that the event should take 100 years to complete. I think some of the competitors were confused by this…

This year, the draws were split into an ‘A’ and ‘B’ category. It made the event a lot more competitive and satisfying for all concerned since it virtually eliminated any first round mismatches. There were only 3 results in the 2 categories combined that ended up 3-0.

For the B draw, top seeds Joe Moran [pictured right] and Andy Housey paired up (with a combined age of 100 exactly) and their ‘youth’ took them all the way to the final but not before a first round scare. Bob Garvey and Bob Bendzinski (total age: 111) stretched them to 5 games almost creating the upset, then the family Spohn team of Andrew and Earle (age: 103) couldn’t stop them in the semi final. The other finalists were the ‘oldest’ pairing in the draw – John Chouinard and John Conway (age: 119). The two Johns won their 2 previous rounds 3-1, knocking out the formidable pair of Sean Moran and Don Eugenio (age: 112) on the way. Moran / Housey had to work hard. Their opponents know the angles well, read the play effectively and take advantage of opportunities when they arise. In the end, their hard work paid off as they grabbed an impressive 3-1 victory.

The A draw was just as competitive. Going in as top seeds, the Stu Boynton / John Dunwoody (age: 117) pair looked tough to beat, but no one told Dan Follis and Mike Eugenio that (age: 118). In a surprising result, Dan and Mike snatched a 3-2 victory but then succumbed 3-0 in the next round to Mike Doyle and Bill Oddo (age: 105). Bill and Mike then had to tackle last year’s finalists and the 2008 tournament winners Bob Thibodeau and Bowden Brown (age: 116). Bob and Bowden are obviously a proven team and work productively together on the court. With just a little too much ‘court-sense’, they earned themselves another tournament win taking the match 3-1.

EXORCISING THE WINDSOR GREMLINS

No one, but no one, beats the DAC 8 times in a row. Period.

Whatever black magic that club was using on us over the past few years, it seems it has finally worn off. Maybe it was voodoo since they managed to steer our doubles team to turn up at the wrong club, get changed, warm-up, and then wonder why no one else was there. (Or maybe our doubles team thought the “Cross Border Challenge” was a challenge to see who could actually cross the border..?) Believe it not, this has happened before – whatever spell they conjured up worked on Peter Logan as well back in September of 2006. John Dunwoody and Stu Boynton were the culprits this year, but at least their small ‘detour’ didn’t subtract from their performance on court. Red-faced, they still won 3-0.

It was becoming as likely for us to win this thing as it was for the Detroit Lions to win a Super Bowl, but whether it was the alignment of the planets, whether it was an act of God, or whether we all found our ‘mojo’ simultaneously, in simplistic terms: we stuffed ‘em!

In one of the more monumental moments of DAC history, the Windsor team didn’t have a hope. No mercy was handed out either. We won six of the matches 3-0 and wrapped up the trophy with a couple of matches to spare. In typical Windsor fashion, they had a couple of female players on their team with the sole purpose of distracting our members. [Pictured left: Kelly Zlotnik (WND) in purple with Kimberly Farnen (DAC) in black]. With a wonderful counter-move, I matched up Kimberly Farnen against one of their ‘diversions’, offsetting the advantage, and she won her match 3-0.

Unfortunately, their second ‘distraction’ had a mesmerizing affect on David Pontes and she beat him 3-0. [She is pictured left]. David still swears that although he lost his match, he ended up the biggest winner on the team. There are many who agree with him. Two of the matches went to 5. Bob Rogers (DAC) had a very tough win over Peter Wares 9-4 in the 5th, and Chuck Doyle (DAC) went down 9-7 in the 5th to Ted Jacobs. With Windsor snagging a couple of late results to make the score look a little more respectable, the final total was 9 matches to 5 in our favor.

The whole competition was played with a great spirit – but when you have a keg of Sam Adams at your disposal, it’s tough not to enjoy it! So, at least until September, we will have the Cross Border Trophy to relish. That gives Windsor about 5 months to reach the heights that we have obviously raised the bar to. Or, more likely, they can try to improve on their witchcraft potions…
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My Preciousssss....

FOR THE KIDS

Do you love this sport? Do you wish you started playing when you were a lot younger? Well, with your help you can give that opportunity to hopefully many future juniors by supporting the 2nd MSRA Annual Benefit Challenge Match and Fund Drive.

On Saturday, May 15 the Birmingham Athletic Club (BAC) will be the gracious hosts this year with tickets/donations priced at $24 (juniors under 16 are free). The squash starts at 12pm and will feature some competition between some of Michigan’s up and coming juniors before the pro exhibition scheduled at around 1pm. I will be fishing my white shorts out from the dark and dusty corners of my dresser and tackling the BAC pro Julian Wellings on his home turf.

All money raised will go towards building the junior squash program in Detroit and south-east Michigan. The future of squash is the juniors. They need your help in order to receive that golden opportunity to take up the best sport in the world.

Click on the promotion above for all the details of the event. For more information on the junior development program in Michigan and how you can help make a difference, you can contact MSRA president Hugh Stalker at hughstalker@comcast.net

Summer Squash League – JUST DO IT

I understand. I do. Once the summer hits, there is nothing like spending time outdoors. Especially when the winters are so harsh and long. But not to play squash at all? That, I don’t understand. Just to squeeze in that 1 or 2 hours a week to get yourself on the court, to at least keep you game up, keep your body moving, work off the calories you ingest on the golf course, will benefit you no end.

And, to make it easy, you could have one of those matches organized for you! I’ll arrange your partner, the time, the court, and then I’ll e-mail it to you every week! I’ll do everything except pick you up to get you here or play the match for you. (Actually, for a fee, I may even do that!) All you have to do is enter the Summer Squash League! Do yourself a favor.

The goal is to get 8 teams of 8 (64 players). I will sort out the teams myself – so you don’t even have to do that! ANY player of ANY level. You are all welcome. The first 64 entries will get priority, after that you will be placed on a sub list unless I get 72 registrations, then I’ll make 8 teams of 9, or 80 registrations for 8 teams of 10, and so forth…

The Summer League (free for all Blackballers) runs on the same basis as the Boasters League through the winter except it will be on Monday nights instead of Wednesday. Bonus points will still be counted as well. The season will be 7 rounds plus 2 rounds of finals. The top 4 teams will advance to the play-offs. It is scheduled to start on May 17, and end on July 26. (A keg will not be provided.)

Registration deadline is Friday, May 7 – or until full. Don’t miss out. Not playing over the summer months at all will hurt your game, your fitness, and you will be playing catch-up for the first half of the winter season.

ARCHIVING MARK TALBOTT

Rummaging through old magazines, one of my neighbors came across this article. Before we met, she had never heard of squash and it wasn’t long ago that I had to show her what a squash racquet and ball looked like.

“Yes”, I said. “It’s similar to racquetball.” (I tried my best to smile politely as I spat those words out!)

It seems to be the only way to describe squash to the uninitiated in this country. I do this all the time crossing the border at Windsor when the customs officer asks what I do for a living. “Squash? What’s that? Are you a farmer?” It does get tiring explaining myself time and time again whenever the subject comes up. I remember one time while I was living in Argentina, I met this young and attractive woman at a nightclub who insisted she knew all about the sport. Until she asked me where the closest squash-pool was located… “It’s underwater, right?” Huh?

Anyway, why my neighbor happened to keep this article for 17 years is a mystery even she cannot answer but when she saw the caricature she recognized the racquet as being one of squash. Yay! One less American to educate! She found it in the February 1993 issue of the New Yorker magazine and kindly asked if I would like it. Since the name ‘Talbott’ has an intimate connection and history with the DAC and I am sure there are still many of you who reminisce dearly about those days, I thought you would like to read this piece.

Mark Talbott was world hardball champion for 12 years with at least 100 ranking tournament wins. He is the only player ever to beat the legendary Jahangir Khan (an 18-16 in the 5th victory at the 1984 final of the Boston Open) and is widely considered (and hardly arguable) to be the one of the best hardball players of all time.

SQUASH SHOTS IV

Click on the photo below, then answer the question:

What happened to Greg’s racquets?

A) They are Harrow’s new flexible head racquets, specially designed for digging the ball out of the back corner.
B) Someone tried to steal his beer.
C) Ten minutes usage out of $170 racquets was more than enough. They simply wore out.
D) His squash bag is small, so he squashed them in.
E) He hit a tin. Obviously the racquets were faulty so he destroyed them.
F) He hit the ball so hard the frames could not handle the stress.

Answer: C) and E) (sort 0f)… Greg purchased these 2 racquets that lasted him approximately 10 minutes. After playing and losing his first game in… not so perfect squash… he took his frustrations out on his sticks. That’s $340 of mangled graphite. At least the beer calmed him down!

WEEKEND IN WINDSOR

A slightly better showing than Toledo, the DAC had 7 representatives (including myself) for the recent Windsor Tournament this past weekend. I’m still a little stumped as to why we can’t get more members to support this event. It is not a big deal crossing the border (you do need a passport, however) and the longest I waited at the tunnel was about 15 minutes getting back into the US on Friday night as I watched customs officers look in, on, underneath, on top, and outside of the truck in front of me, and then decide to really ‘search’ the truck as they pulled it to the side for a more thorough inspection. They let me through in 30 seconds – the power of the Aussie passport! Also, the Windsor crew are a social bunch to say the very least. If you don’t have a beer in your hand then you are prompted to do so regularly. After all, how could you possibly play squash without drinking alcohol? Hic!

Our 6 members didn’t win any of the events (must be that Windsor curse...?) but as always, we put up a strong fight. Anthony Fracchia – fresh off his win in Toledo – reached the quarter final before succumbing to a fine player from Toronto who just happened to be a woman. (Beaten by a sheila…!) Of course there is no shame in losing to a female… just ask Jim Stroh… or Rich Stimson… or Chip McDaniel… or even Justin Winkelman. Justin lost his first round to Krista Porter. He was leading 2-0 but Krista mounted a strong comeback to take the match 10-9 in the 5th. Even though Justin lost the match, I am sure many of the spectators thanked him for keeping Krista on court for as long as possible.

Bruce VandeVusse won his first round 3-1, and then lost his second match 3-0 to Vince Mencotti. Vince is a product of the BAC junior program – a 14 year old up and coming talent and it is excellent to see him competing in adult tournaments. (Vince ended up reaching the semi finals of the C draw.)

Ryan Bendzinski [pictured left] had a similar result to Bruce – won his first match, then lost his second. He went down 3-0 to London-ite Srinivas Krishnamoorthy (say that 10 times drunk!). Srinivas (Sometimes known as ‘Alphabet-Soup’ or more commonly ‘Shrini’ for short) played very steady squash and simply waited for Ryan to hit the errors to which he obliged just a little too often. A good experience for Ryan, he wasn’t out-classed, he needs to learn not beat himself.

Andy Adamo played 2 tough matches but unfortunately lost them both. Andy has a lot of potential, and it also terrific to see him playing these tournaments picking up valuable match toughness and practice. Ken MacDonald played 2 events (sucker for punishment). He did win the first match in each draw, getting his money’s worth and just like Andy, picked up significant experience.

On a personal level, I won the Open category winning all the matches 3-0. I played the human canvass Chris Hanebury (he’s covered in tattoos!) in the final – a lad I have now played at least 5 times. As scary as he looks, Chris is an extremely nice fellow – and very quick on the court. He also found the right angles on many occasions as he pounded quite a few of my shots straight into the nick. But, I was steady enough to overcome these winners to keep him at bay just long enough. (On a side note in the Open draw, one of the first round matches ended up 21-19 in the 5th! Talk about a marathon!)

So the last tournament for the 2009-2010 season has come to an end. Thanks to Brian Porter, Dave Guthrie, and the Windsor team for putting on another successful event. Next season, once again all I can do is encourage you all to play at least one event outside the DAC – be it London, Toledo, Chicago, Cleveland or Windsor. You won’t regret it – they are truly tremendous weekends!

CROSS-BORDER BEATING

Update - Date Change!!
The Cross-Border Challenge has been moved to SATURDAY, APRIL 17. This is so we can avoid the doubles-whammy of the Frozen Four and Tiger's opening weekend on April 10. It would have made traveling through the tunnel and parking a nightmare for the visitors... hang on... on second thoughts... anything to give us an advantage...

Take… nine.

Yes, yes, it’s that time of year when we let our very good friends from that country that won the Olympic ice-hockey gold medal grace our squash courts and beat us into submission. (With friends like these, who needs enemies?) Seven times in a row we have managed to drive home trophy-less. In fact, I bet most of you don’t even know what the Cross Border Trophy looks like.

On Saturday, April 17 we are going at it yet again. Trying to stop the rot… turn the tables… reverse the trend… Our losing streak is turning rather cliché. Since nothing else has worked, including conspiring with my counterpart in Windsor to try to ‘fix’ the matches in order for us to win, I figure I may as well steal somebody else’s ideas rather than using my own for this article…

I will not beat around the bush. Against insurmountable odds, we need players who are willing to spill their guts on the court for us. I have a real axe to grind, a bee in my bonnet, when those Canadians tell me that Hell will freeze over, that pigs will fly, before the DAC can pull a win out of the bag. I need singles players of all levels to put up their hands, and sweat blood for the team. We also need 3 doubles pairs, preferably at the A, B and C levels, but at this stage, I’ll take what I can get! We are stuck in a rut. They say ‘great things happen to those who wait’ – well, we’ve waited long enough! We need to pull our heads out of the sand, treat the past losses as water under the bridge, and if we can turn over a new leaf, maybe, just maybe, we will be walking on cloud nine, breaking new ground, and we can take home the hardware!

Matches start at 2pm at the DAC. We will do our best to match you up against a player from Windsor similar to your own level. Registration deadline is Monday, April 12. Simply e-mail me your registration. As always, we will be providing a keg for your thirsty needs.

And, if we happen to bite the dust, if we can’t bring them down to earth, make them stop believing they are the cat’s meow, then all I can say is… “Sh*t happens!”

BY THE SKIN OF THEIR BONUS POINTS

Boasters League – Final

…Flashback 2009, round 1 of the Boaster’s League finals…

Pat Petz’s team plays a 15-15 tie but advance 5-4 on bonus points… fade-out… Its one week later. Semi Finals of the 2009 Boasters League and Pat Petz’s team repeats the unlikely – they play a 26-26 tie, but again advance on bonus points 10-9… fade-out… Its one week later; the final of the 2009 Boasters League season. Pat Petz’s team dominates and wins the league… fade-out…

...Fast forward to 2010…

Surprise finalists “Angry Dragons” were lucky even to be present. Spending much of the season in last place, they ended up 3rd from the bottom and were second worst in picking up bonus points. But their team was quite strong. Once the finals started, suddenly they started turning up. The knocked of the second seeded “Hell’s Kitchen” in round 1, then had little trouble with “Duck or Bleed” in the semis.

On the other end on the spectrum, Pat Petz’s [pictured left] team, the “Defending Champs”, spent most of the season in the top 2-3 positions on the ladder and went in as the top seed. In round 1, “The Trolls” put up a reasonable resistance, but just weren’t up to scratch, in the semi final, the “Defending Champs” staggered to the finishing line 23-20 over “The Deconstructors” who certainly had their chances to cause the upset. The final was set between the first seed and the seventh seed: 29 points separated the teams on the standings, so going by that, the final should have been a cake-walk… yeah, right!

Eleven matches were played. One of them ended up 3-0. The other ten: 2-1. One of things that really hurt the “Angry Dragons” was that 3 of their regulars required subs. Even though 2 of those subs won their matches, they can’t receive bonus points and in the end, it made the difference. History was about to repeat itself.

I don’t know how many games ended up 15-14; how many games were decided on an unforced error, or a lucky winner; and I am sure all the members “Angry Dragons” will now be scratching their heads, making themselves feel guilty, and spending time wondering the “what-ifs”, “could-haves” and “should-haves”. In reality, they couldn’t have done much more.

Firstly, they should be thankful they made it so far. I debate whether they even deserved to be in the final. Playing as few matches as they did during the regular season - with the 2nd worst percentage of matches completed - does not warrant a spot in the play-offs. (This may prompt a play-off rules change for next season.) Secondly, they actually won 7 of the 11 matches played. That in itself is a noble effort, and just proves they should have ended up near the top of the standings after the regular season.

So I suppose justice was served. With a 24-24 tie, the “Defending Champs” are (again) declared winners based on the tie-break: 8 bonus points to 7. Congratulations to: Scott Adlhoch, Jay Poplawski, Pat Petz, Joe Moran, JB Peabody, Andrew Spohn, Mark Monaghan, Justin Winkelman, Tom Healy, Jim Miller, and Jerry Solomon. It was a terrific effort, the “Angry Dragons” did put up the best fight they could and should be commended as well. Unfortunately for them, only the victor receives the spoils!

The 2009-2010 Boasters League is done. Here are a few seasonal stats for the second half: Bob Rogers (“The Reach Arounds”) [pictured left] picked up the most points in the league with 28. Tom Healy (“Defending Champs”) was second with 27, then Chuck Doyle (“Hell’s Kitchen”) and Anil Kathuria (“The Reach Arounds”) with 25. Bob, Tom and Anil also went through the season undefeated. Only 3 players picked up a bonus point every week: Paul Ward (“Angry Dragons”), Mac Nutter and Chuck Doyle (both from “Hell’s Kitchen”). On the other side of that, only 3 players failed to pick up any. They shall remain nameless. Spread over all the teams, 74% of the matches were played. The “Defending Champs” completed 84% - the next best was 75%.

Summer League is just around the corner. It is scheduled to start on May 17. Do yourself a favor and keep active over the summer months – you will reap the benefits come September when it all starts again…

EYE-SPY

Recently, it is becoming more noticeable that some of our members are ‘forgetting’ to wear eye protection whilst on court. The mandatory eye-guard policy at the DAC is, by the most part, welcomed by the members. Given that some of our players have an uncanny habit of positioning themselves in life-threatening situations, you would think that people would get struck by the ball all the time. Strangely though – and luckily – it is not as common as you may think, and in the five plus years I have been working here no one has received an eye injury. But the risk is always present and the $20 for a pair of goggles is a miniscule price to pay to protect your sense of sight. A squash ball can cause devastating trauma to the eye, including permanent blindness, so wearing eye-guards, however uncomfortable they may be, should be a welcome and thankful piece of equipment.

The excuse of “I cannot see the ball properly when I wear eye-guards” doesn’t fly. Like anything else, they do take a little time to get used to if you are not familiar with them, but you will adapt. Sooner rather than later your eye-guards will become just another piece of clothing you need when walking on the court. My old club in Montreal did not have a mandatory eye-guard policy. Few players wore them – I did not. When I came to the DAC, I found the eye-guards initially distracting but it did not take long before I hardly notice them while I am playing. Now, I feel naked and vulnerable without them. I will not step on court with a member (no offense!!) without my eye-guards. Basically, (and I am being a little conceited here), if I feel I should wear them, then so should you.

Before anyone asks why is it that none of the professionals wear them, as they should be the ones setting the example to the rest of the squash community, you cannot compare apples to oranges. Again – no offense – you aren’t professionals. You play squash for enjoyment, for the camaraderie, for the beer, for the friendly competition. You do not make a living out of it. All it takes is one miss-hit, one badly timed shot, one fleeting moment of bad judgment, and you could get hit. Walk around one day with a pirate-patch over one eye and see how even the most simple of daily tasks suddenly become complicated. Professionals are not immune either, although the likelihood of being hit in the eye at that level is close to zero, it has happened to the best of them. Thierry Lincou in the 2003 US Open hit Jon Power in the eye with the ball. Luckily for Power it wasn’t hit very hard, but he nonetheless had to take a lengthy injury time out and ended up losing the match. A few years ago in St. Louis, David Palmer got a close up of Amr Shabana’s racquet as it smacked him squarely on the bridge of his nose. Both of these injuries could have been avoided if eye-guards had been worn.

But I digress. Essentially, you really don’t have a choice. It is a club rule – a rule put forth by your own committees – so there is no reason not to follow it. You may not agree with it, but that does not give anyone immunity from obeying it. Do yourself a favor, wear your eye-guards, avoid any uncomfortable incidents for non-compliance, and we all won’t have to wait for the “not if, but when” situation.

DOING THE HAYDUK BLITZ

No offense to Matt Hayduk, but I’m sure all the pundits were not laying their money on him to win. In fact, if asked, I’m sure Matt would have placed his bet on any one of the other 23 competitors in the Blitz Tournament before himself.

But that is the beauty of this tournament. Anyone can win. Literally. Just ask Matt. Consider the path the he took to earn first prize– and he did earn it. First of all, hurdle one - the group round robin. JB Peabody won all 4 of games to end up first, where Matt, along with two others won 2 games. With 3 players tied for second place, the next hurdle to see who advanced came down to pure, dumb luck: drawing straws. Matt drew first, and from the groans and gesturing of the other two, had drawn well. He moved onto the next hurdle: the knock-out finals. His first game was against Charlie Severn who went on with a 6 point handicap. Perfect. Matt takes the game 15-14. Next in line was Jim Stroh who won his group round robin. Matt started with 9 points which proved to be more than enough. He won 15-11. His semi final was against Ryan Bendzinski. [Photo right: Ryan playing against Bob Rogers] Matt took 11 points into the game, again proving it was more than enough. The 15-9 win had (a surprised) Matt in the final. The other side of the draw could not have been any closer. Every single match ended up 15-14. (Kudos to me for the handicapping!!) Scraping through by this narrowest of margins was JB Peabody – the winner of Matt’s round robin group. Hurdle four: Overcoming a previous defeat. In the round robin, Matt was given 5 points head start on JB (he lost that game). For the final, I gave him 7. Perfect. Matt takes the final 15-14 topping off the faultless evening for the lad. Not only did he win the event, received some very nice prizes for his efforts, he also drank free beer. What more could you ask for? [Photo: Matt and JB in their final]

Special mentions:
Judy Doyle. The only woman to enter into the testosterone filled domain of the squash court arena. And she took it to the boys as well. Judy won group round robin, but was knocked out by Bruce VandeVusse (bully!) in the first knock-out match 15-14. (Bruce went on to lose the 3rd / 4th playoff to Ryan Bendzinski 15-13.)

Mac Nutter. Although Mac did not advance through the group round robin, his entertaining style of play kept us all rather captivated. He must be made of putty as he bounces off the walls and floor, rebounds back onto his feet, all while he doesn’t stop running. In need of 17 band-aids, Mac kindly pointed out that he almost scored the maximum amount points in the group as he either lost or won every game 15-13 or 15-14. Lamentably, that didn’t count.

The tournament took just over 2 hours to complete. We had 56 games played, 24 competitors, 1 keg emptied, zero racquets destroyed… Pat? 964 towels used, and 1 successful evening. Thank you to all who supported and played.

Cheers!!