CONQUERING ANNAPOLIS

September 29 – October 2, 2011

As the plane lifted off the runway in Baltimore Sunday afternoon, taking us back to the reality of life in Detroit, most of the Great Lakes Squash Team on board was probably fast asleep before the wheels even left the tarmac. With impish smiles on our exhausted faces, the light dreams no doubt drifted to the previous 4 days we had just spent tormenting our aging bodies…

The 2011 Great Lakes Squash Team consisted of 13 players from around the Detroit area. If they are anything like me, they would have been going over their squash matches in their minds. All the “could haves”, “should haves”, “would haves”, “why did I’s”, “if only’s” and “I can’t believe it’s” run through the brain and wishes of time machines and do-overs plague the disappointed. We matched up against the Naval Academy Squash Team in Annapolis on Friday afternoon (I’ll get to that in a minute), a day after arrival and a day after our first effort at emptying many of the downtown bars inventory. We failed at that task, but not without a decent attempt.



View from Sherwood Forest. Left to right: Jon Uffelman, me,
John McRoberts (BAC), Nick Peanutbuttersandwich (Windsor)



One of the finest pleasures of this trip is the luxury of being able to stay in Sherwood Forest, courtesy of BAC member Jon Uffleman, one of the main instigators of our excursion. It is a a charming community 20 minutes from Annapolis spread over the banks of the river. Views are nothing short of breathtaking, and when I woke up on Friday morning I did not even have to move my head – just open my eyes – to take in the spectacular panoramic sight of the water and surrounding islands. An early morning, two and a half hour jaunt on Jon Uffelman’s boat over the glassy waters was one of my highlights of the weekend, the fresh air, blue skies, the feeling of total relaxation was the flawless start to the day.

Before we tackled the cadets on the squash court, the day was spent enjoying the Sherwood Forest facilities. Eric “have-you-seen-my-sock” Green (DAC) and Jon Uffelman teamed up for a tennis match against Windsor’s Mark Eugeni and Nick Dimitrijevic. I believe Eric and Jon won the match, but really I wasn’t watching too intensely. It was then we hit the 9-hole golf course that snakes through the houses and streets. A terrifying prospect for anyone (such as myself) who is horrible at the sport. It doesn’t take much misdirection for the ball to find a house window, or a car, or a pedestrian. I only hit around the last 3 holes and managed to take out one gazebo, not a bad effort. Even Nick Digmeadeepditch, who had never played golf before swung the club a little, managed to hit the ball, but luckily missed everything else.

Winning the squash matches has always been a difficult mountain to climb for our team. The Navy Team is at least half our age, obviously fitter, faster, skinnier, nicer, and probably smarter too. The only thing we have going for us is experience. All 13 matches were played, however only the top 9 of them count towards the end result. It was a rough start. In the first round of matches, Peter Logan (DAC) and Casey Garwood (ex-DAC) won their matches 3-0 and 3-1 respectively, but we went down in the other contests. One of the strengths of the Navy Team is their depth. The top 5 to 6 players are really interchangeable, so for any of us to win, we needed to be absolutely on the top of our games. In the second round of matches, I ended up the lone victor. Even in the matches ranked 10 to 13, we lost all of those too. Final score: Naval Academy 6 – Team Great Lakes 3.

Normally we would have a second scrimmage on the Saturday morning, but because of the college football game starting at midday and all the lads wanting to start the tailgate at 10am, the squash was scrapped. There is nothing better than pulling oneself out of bed early in the morning after falling into it at 3am, just to get to a car park for the sole purpose of drinking some more. Like the troopers we are, we spent half the day between parked cars and barbeques, and the other half in town to continue our fitness regimen of endless bicep curls.

That night, to replenish our spent energy, four of us hopped in for a quick burger at a local deli. This deli is renowned for a particular food challenge. The challenge comprises of drinking a 6-pound milkshake and eating a 1-pound burger within 60 minutes. Just to give you an idea of how big this milkshake actually is, the table next to us ordered just the shake between 3 people. They couldn’t finish even half of it before they left and passed it on to us. The four of us couldn’t drink the rest of it either before we left and we passed it on to the next table. However, the story goes that Joey Chestnut (yes, that famous hot-dog-eating maniac champion ‘athlete’) took on the challenge and devoured both the shake and burger in 6 minutes. I suddenly, somehow, respect him more and less at the same time.

The trip was over. We had all given our best. And we all can’t wait for 2012. Hopefully by then we would have recovered. As a final note, I want to extend a mammoth thank you to Jon Uffelman – without him, his character, this experience wouldn’t be half of what it is and I doubt any of us would want it any other way. And another thank you to the rest of the team who mesh in such a way it really does make me feel I am part of something very special.



The 2012 Great Lakes Squash Team
Back row left to right: Mark Eugeni, me, Reilly Seidel (Toledo), Rob Graves (Franklin),
Nick Ihavethisnastyitch (Windsor), Eric Green (DAC), John McRoberts (BAC)
Brad Seidel (Toledo), Al Sprenger (Cleveland)
Front row left to right: Jon Uffelman (BAC), Peter Logan (DAC), Casey Garwood (ex-DAC), John Seidel (Toledo)



STAND UP AT THE “FALL DOWN” CLASSIC

The first of Windsor’s two tournaments is appropriately named the “Fall Down” Classic since is coincides with the season, and also the three tons of rotten leaves that accumulate on my lawn from my neighbor’s tree. From November 4-6, pencil it in your calendar to play some serious squash for that weekend. It’s pretty simple:

Step 1: Enter. You can do that by either letting me know and I can pass on your information to them, or even easier, you can call them yourself! Or, e-mail them. Or, send them a homing pigeon although I don’t recommend that too much. Smoke signals are not suggested either. Make sure you do it before the deadline.

Step 2: Take some lessons to sharpen yourself up for your upcoming matches!

Step 3: Get your first round time. Probably a good idea to do this before November 4. You can call them a couple of days before the start date to ask, or if I get them I will e-mail it to you (but don’t rely on that!).

Step 4: Turn up. Jump into your transportation vehicle of choice and make your way to the Windsor Squash Club which is less than 10 minutes from the tunnel. It’s very easy to get to. Just make certain that you do turn up before your match is scheduled to start.

Step 5: Play squash. This is the best part. Here, you get to hop on court and start smacking away at the black ball hoping to beat some other dude or dudess also smacking away at the black ball. You’ll get two matches minimum in the singles, so make sure you check your next match time win or lose.

Step 6: Enjoy. Self explanatory. There will be beer, friends, socializing, squash to watch, food… cannot go wrong here.

So, click on the poster above fall all the information and contact details. There are singles and doubles events to choose from. I plan on playing too, so I hope to see you many of you supporting this event along with me.

NEW CLUB, NEW PRO, SAME FUN TOURNAMENT

London, ON, Sept 23-25

Over the summer, the London Squash Racquets Club underwent a complete renovation. It was sorely overdue. They shut down the club for about 4 months, ripped out their one North American hardball singles court, replaced it with a new pro shop and office, remodeled the bar area, and fixed up the locker rooms. Throw in the new carpet and furniture, and the face lift is reminiscent of a 60 year old walking out of the plastic surgeon’s office with a body of a 25 year old.

During all the construction, the club also had the audacious task of searching for a new squash pro. Their previous fellow left to try his hand coaching in the Bermudas. It’s no easy mission finding a worthy candidate to move to a small, remote ‘city’ such as London. But, every now and then a true professional arrives on the scene and the club can count themselves extremely privileged that Brit Dave Morrish packed up his suitcase from England, toasted up his final crumpets and scones, and brought his wealth of experience and knowledge to town.

The unfortunate side of all this was that the registration total for the tournament suffered. From 140 last year, to only 95 this year. However, it did not detract from the experience. At all. The more often I go the more fun it is. Relationships build and I feel exceedingly welcomed by their membership. The social atmosphere simply grows and grows. 

Left to right: Jan Koukal, Jay Nash (major sponsor),
Dave Morrish (London Squash Pro), Shawn DeLierre



Now to the squash. Firstly the pros. This year, the purse was $10,000. The most they have ever raised and consequently the standard of the squash was the best they have ever witnessed as well. I managed to watch one and a half semi finals and the final, and each match featured players around the 50 in the world mark, which pretty much guarantees they were all top quality. The most entertaining encounter was the semi final with Czech Jan Koukal (48 in the world), who won this event last year, against Egyptian Andrew Wagih (71). Wagih’s style is goes against all conventional teachings – which is rather typical for an Egyptian. Rather than establish a good length and wait for the opening to attack, Wagih simply attacks from shot one. Drop after drop, nicks, angles, he throws the kitchen sink at his opponent without hesitation. Koukal is more a grinder and was forced to do exactly that for the duration of the match – all 79 minutes of it. Of course, with Wagih’s gumption to go for so many ‘winners’, he also dies by the sword. A couple of crucial unforced errors in the end of the 5^th game cost him dearly and he lost 13-11. In the final, Koukal met up with Canadian Shawn DeLierre (54), another grinder. The four games these two played took longer than the 5-set semi, and although there were many long and engaging rallies, there were also way too many interference calls and referee involvement. The standard of squash was outstanding, but the amount of discussions diluted the quality. DeLierre outlasted the Czech to win 3-1 in 91 minutes.

The amateurs. James Van Dyke was our sole representative this weekend as he tried out in the C draw. It was a tough slog for him as he lost his 2 matches and naturally was disappointed. However, he did feel that if he played to the level he knows he can, he would have been very competitive. Having tournament experience and playing in such environments is irreplaceable and hopefully he will travel to events more often.

I played once again in the open, and once again every match I played was against a lad from the Western University Squash team. Younger (obviously), faster, fitter, better tolerance to beer, more hair (and darker), and baggier clothes, the only thing going for me was experience. Shot selection played a big part in my victories, and couple that with the uncanny ability of my opponents to find the tin at the most inopportune moments, helped me squeeze out a 5-set final. And, once again, my body is not particularly pleased with me and making me pay.

Whooping it up. So popular is the after-pro-final-beer-pong-event, it is now announced at the presentation and is part of the program. Two tables were set up this year (on their doubles court), and ping-pong balls were bouncing, splashing and rebounding for intense beer-sculling action. In addition, since apparently people just can’t wait to guzzle willy-nilly, flippy-cup was also started with teams of four going at it non-stop. The beer stopped flowing around 11pm as everyone was forced to shuffle (stagger?) 100 yards down the street to the bar which is a big supporter of the event. Moans and groans were initially heard, but immediately stopped when they realized beer would be served their too and waiting for them were plates of wings and some of the best nachos you’ll ever taste. (That’s not to say we didn’t “whoop it up” on Friday night as well. Because we did.)

As always, it baffles me that more members do not make this easy trip. You simply cannot not enjoy yourself. It will be on the same time next year.

TIME FOR THE BLITZ KRIEG!

Achtung! Looking for a quick, easy, fun, social squash event that won’t tax your body terribly much unless you attack the keg a little too vigorously? Then, Standuppenundsquashen! (Translation: “this is the tournament for you!”) Enter the Blitz Tournament for a chance to match wits against a variety of opponents playing one speedy game to 15 points.

This event has two stages. Firstly, the Kattleherden (Translation: “group”) phase. Everybody will be placed in a group of 4-5 players of assorted standards and complete a Lastenmannstanden (Translation: “round robin”.) Each ‘match’ will be one game to 15 points using point-a-rally scoring with no tie-break. If the score reaches 14-all, you play a Losenpointenundveeshooten (Translation: “sudden death rally”.) Handicaps will be issued to even up the competition and to place a lot more pressure on the higher ranked members. These handicaps are subject to change if both players agree to do so, or if I feel I have miscalculated and need to adjust them.

Then, secondly, comes the finals stage. The top two players of each group will advance to a Headkrackendownenfallen (Translation: “knock-out draw”.) In the case of a tie in the group phase, the players will draw straws to see who advances. Handicaps will also be issued in the knock-out stage. The top three place getters will receive a prize.

This will be the 8^th running of this event and we have never had a repeat winner and on top of that the first place getter has ranged from a 2.5 level to a 5.0 level. In other words, anyone can win this.

The Blitz Tournament is scheduled for Friday, October 14. Matches start at 5pm and depending on how many people play, it should take a couple of hours. If you want to be a part of this entertaining tournament, make sure you Veearrestennallenlatenregistrieren (Translation: “I need all registrations by Wednesday, October 12”.) I must have a minimum 16 players to host it, but no more than 40. And of course, Drinkendieyummybeeren (Translation: “Naturally the keg will be chilled and ready for consumption”.) There is no fee to enter, but you do have to be a Blackballer to participate.

WINNING BY A WHISKER

Firstly, the Detroit Tigers won in Oakland after guaranteeing their place in the play-offs. Then the Lions massacred the Chiefs by 45 points. Even U of M won, giving them a 3-0 season. It was a good weekend to be a Michigander (even though the Spartans failed) and all that was left was for the DAC squash team to overcome their Cross Border nemesis… Windsor!

We had fantastic participation. 21 matches, 1 full keg (which ended up almost empty), and an especially competitive afternoon of squash. The first four results were split. Jason Trombley was our first defeat, losing 3-0 to Syed Azmet, but in all fairness Syed was probably a ringer from Egypt that Windsor had recruited for the sole purpose of helping them win. Eric Green followed Jason going down 3-1 to Dave Guthrie but a 3-1 win to Sante Fratarcangeli and an 11-9 in the 5^th victory by Peter Logan over the hard hitting Justin Warnock steadied the ship. [Photo above: Rich Routley (left) and Sante Fratarcangeli enjoying their after match beer! Photo below: Justin Warnock (left) and Peter Logan after their 5-set groaner.]

It went back and forth like this all afternoon with neither club taking a commanding lead. A couple of the close results didn’t fall our way. Ken MacDonald blew a 2-0 lead to go down 9-5 in the 5^th and he very well knows that fitness had a big part to play in his demise. It was a wake-up call certainly, a match he probably should have won. Anil Kathuria also had a heart-breaker as he fell 2 points shorts against Renka Gesing 9-7 in the 5^th.

But the DAC definitely had plenty of solid results. Jeff Gembis overcame his nervousness to put away his opponent 3-0, John Rakolta finally got his revenge over Brian Porter with a sturdy 3-1 performance (ever since Brian beat John in the final of the DAC Classic earlier this year, he has been drooling for his blood!), Derek Aguirre was steady enough to take care of the awkward Dan Barisic 3-1, and new members Josh Slominski and Justin Jacobs both recorded sound 3-1 victories.

Our winning ways were also aided by Windsor’s “mistakes”. As an organizer there are no worse words to hear than “walk-over”, or “forfeit”, or “default”, or “no-show”. And they had 2 of them. That’s not to say we wouldn’t have won those matches anyway (we’ll never know), but the team has to show up. Reluctantly we accepted the 3-0 defaults which gave us 2 free wins for the day. One could argue, however, that we reciprocated the defaults with 2 of our own by fielding two doubles teams! Since we virtually never win the doubles against Windsor, it was predestined that things weren’t about to change – they didn’t. We lost both doubles 3-0.

By the time the last ball rolled to a stop, the DAC had their noses in front 11 matches to 10. The trophy is back in my office – Let’s see if we can keep it for longer than 1 event. This is our 3^rd victory from 11 attempts, and another sign that sport in Detroit is looking up… either that or we’ve slipped into Bizarro World.

Celebrating our victory!

THE SQUASH POET # 7

If I had a dime for every member who complained about their opponent blocking, I’d be close to retirement. Blocking doesn’t just happen at the club level, it happens at the pro level too. There are some pros that have made into a fine art. One of the most affable players on tour is Egyptian Wael El Hindi but he is also renowned for testing the patience of the most experienced referees and players with his uncanny knack of somehow constantly getting in the way. Wael reached a career high number 8 in the world back in 2008, and bases himself in New York. The Squash Poet takes a tongue in cheek jab at him here. I am sure you can relate this to someone you know…

It’s really quite amazing and I don’t know why I do it

I run like a lunatic to get the ball, hit it, then just view it

Get back to the ‘T’ I was told, after every time you hit it

But all I do is watch and stare, with the running I just quit it.

So every time my opponent runs, and we have a collision

And once again the argument starts over what is the decision

A ‘let’ or ‘stroke’ we shout out loud and often it gets heated

And cause we’re dumb, the very next rally, the scene is just repeated.

Now the only reason I’m in the way, and in my true defense

It’s just too hard to run that fast, by backside is immense

So watching pros who are fit and lean and gifted with such speed

To block the path and cause those ‘lets’, there really is no need.

The Squash Poet

Block Control

(Sung to the tune of “It’s still Rock and Roll to me” by Billy Joel)

What’s the matter with the clothes you’re wearing?

Can’t you tell your shorts are way too long?

Maybe you should get some sleeves too, buddy,

You’re guns don’t look terribly strong,

Where have you been hiding out lately, Wael,

To clearing a path you continuously fail,
All you do is talk about it with the referee,

Funny, it’s still block control to me.

There’s nothing wrong with the swing you’re using,

It’s actually quite a nice style.

So why do you insist of getting in the way,

Can you count the amount of lets you compile?

Play the ball, keep your head, and stay a lot calmer,

Maybe then one day you would beat David Palmer,

Hip check, hit the deck, argue for another ‘let’,

It’s still block control to me.

Oh, all the reports I see that are ever written

Have always kept the same old theme,

It goes hand in hand

When on the court you stand, the amount of calls are so extreme…

It’s the opposite of your buddy Karim.

How about another blonde stripe mo-hawk,

To go with your silver chains?

You could really be a big clothes model,

Wearing Calvin Klein and drinking champagne,

But keep playing squash; you’re a talented world-beater,

And stick to your skills and not a constant point repeater,

Smash kill; stand still; another ‘let’ the same ol’ drill,

It’s still block control to me.

I recommend you also stop the histrionics,

You do not win points with the act,

Run hard, hit clean, open up a straight path,

Do all you can to avoid contact,

Keep yourself this focus it’s the best way to survive,

And hopefully soon you can reach your dream of top five,

It’s the new Wael, can’t fail, with the refs stay out of jail,

And stop the block control ple-eeze!

‘Let’ shark, back arch, typical Wael trade-mark

Just stop the block control ple-eeze!

The Squash Poet

BOASTERS LEAGUE STRONGER THAN EVER

With just under one month to go before the Boasters League season commences, it is already full with 108 players. That of course gives me more time to sort everyone out into playing levels but it doesn’t really make that job any easier. It actually gives me more time to question myself. At least sorting out the number 1 players in every team was simple enough. The league has received a huge boost from the handful of members who decided to play the league that normally wouldn’t – I’m talking about those who are ranked high up in the club. (Players such as George Kordas, Paul Doherty and Mark Gregory just to name a few.) They agreed to step in and support for which everybody should be extremely thankful. It boosts the overall level of the league and it is great chance to watch them more often.

Like every season, we have received oodles of new faces. This year, we have 28 of them! I’m not sure if that’s a record, but it must be close. Some of the players are new-old faces, members who have been M.I.A. for a few seasons and for various reasons but have come back with renewed enthusiasm, some are not new members to the club but are new to squash or the league, and some who are brand new DAC members altogether. On those grounds, it made the task of ranking everybody a long and tedious one. I have no doubt made a couple of “oopsies!” along the way but I suppose that’s to be expected.

Paul Huth was the winning captain last season after he managed to knock-off Justin Winkelman’s team in a close fought final. It was the end to Patrick Petz’s winning streak who is of course as eager as ever to make amends after his quest for a three-peat was thwarted in the semi-finals. The first chance to pick up points for your team will be to attend the Referee Clinic on Thursday, September 22. Anyone who is registered in the league and attends the clinic in its entirety will receive 1 point for their team. It would be nice to start the season off with 12 extra points, wouldn’t it?

No new rules have been implemented into the league for this season, however there was much discussion regarding the ‘bonus point’ rule. As you know, you are awarded one ‘bonus point’ for your team if you turn up on the scheduled Wednesday whether you played your match or not (so long as your team does not have the ‘bye’ week). The reason behind the rule was simple – it was to encourage everybody to come on Wednesdays and play and / or socialize. Unfortunately, some people were taking advantage. Not breaking the rule, but sort of bending it a little. Too often, a player would run into the building, mark their name off as being here to collect the point, then leave immediately. Or, if they were bowling in the dungeon, make a quick trip upstairs to do the same. That really defeated the purpose. They were in fact cases where a player would rearrange the match to different day, but then still run in to collect the bonus point while their opponent (who would otherwise be here) stayed home since they didn’t have a match.

Since it is impossible to police, the onus falls on you to abide by the correct etiquette when collecting bonus points. There is no time limit of how long you need to be here, but use common sense. If you do not have a match and walk in for a very short appearance, then please don’t claim the point. If you hang out for a while, drink a beer, socialize, then sure, take one. I think bonus points are important but they shouldn’t be used as a winning tactic.

Another way to encourage you to come on Wednesdays, the doubles court will be reserved between 5-7pm every week for pick-up-mix-and-match games. This is for anyone who wants to snag a few doubles games or if you are new and are keen to learn, just jump on and let the members help you!

Draft night is September 28. The league gets going on October 5. Better start working off the rust now!

PRO SQUASH BACK AT THE DAC

It’s been a long time coming. The only professional squash tournament in the state of Michigan - the Motor City Open - is currently held at the BAC. And, they do a terrific job. It has grown over the past few years in terms of prize money and I know from personal experience since I have played in it myself that the players love the event. It’s not the largest tournament in the country with a $50,000 purse, but as far as I can tell, it’s in the top five.

Curiously, the Motor City Open used to be held at the DAC. I do not know the story of what really happened and why it moved, but since it did, we haven’t held a pro event here since. That is about to change.

Joe McManus of the PST (Pro Squash Tour) approached me in the summer as asked if we would be interested in hosting their end of season tour tournament. PST, if you recall, is the US based squash tour in which the PSA (Professional Squash Association) banned its players from competing in. You can read an article I wrote about the ban here: http://thesquashjoint.blogspot.com/2010/10/no-pros-allowed-on-pro-squash-tour.html.

The ban is still in place. Joe points out that the ban will in the long run only hurt PSA since he isn’t about to go away. Rather than work with them, he is forced to compete against them. He is extremely pro-active in promoting and marketing his product and raising money and sponsorship dollars. He will eventually get to a point that the purses he can offer for his events will start to look very attractive for top PSA players and no doubt they will start to jump ship. It won’t happen this year, but it could be a different scenario five years from now if the current trend continues -  signs are pointing to an accelerated growth. However, I digress.

We have agreed to Joe’s request, so on May 4-6, 2012 we will be hosting their tour finale which will feature the top 8 players from the 2011-2012 PST in a 3-day, knock-out draw. While I cannot guarantee who will be in the event, I can certainly speculate. There is a decent chance we will see John White. John will be active on the tour and is an ex world #1 player and also holds the world record for the hardest hit squash ball at 172 mph. To put that into perspective, the fastest tennis serve ever recorded is 156 mph. No matter who will step on court, the squash is guaranteed to be nothing short of sensational. (As a reminder, the PST implements the ‘no let’ rule. That means all player requests for interference will be decided with a ‘stroke’ or ‘no-let’. Replaying the rally with a ‘let’ is not an option.)

As an added bonus, the event will be webcasted live. PST will be taking care of all the particulars with that, but it will be excellent promotion for the club… and the tournament sponsors. Which brings me to the next item: Are you (or your company) willing to sponsor this event? Naturally we need to raise money. Your name could be the one not only displayed in the club, but also broadcast live during the event over the internet.

Contact me if you are interested in getting involved with bringing the professionals back to the DAC. World class professionals. In a world class squash tournament. At our world class venue.

THE NEW MICHIGAN SQUASH TRAVEL LEAGUE

Many years ago – in the hardball era – I am occasionally reminded that the DAC boasted around 10 teams in the Michigan Squash travel league. Back then, the league thrived. But when the conversion to softball occurred, so did the beginning of the end for the travel league.

Many players opted out and teams and divisions dwindled. So much so, that for the 2010-2011 season, there were only 2 divisions (a 4.5 and a 3.5 division) and a total of 15 teams from 10 clubs. Six of those teams came from 3 Life Time Fitness clubs and the four largest clubs in the area – DAC, BAC, Franklin and Windsor – fielded only 5 teams between them. New Life Time Fitness restrictions on guest policy have made it virtually impossible for the travel league to be hosted in their venues next season.

And here are some disturbing facts from last season. I will name specific clubs since everybody has a stake in this:

• The Toledo team in the 4.5 level did not play one single match over the final 6 rounds of the season.
• The Toledo 3.5 team did not play one single match over the final 4 rounds of the season nor did they play a match in rounds 2, 5, 7 and 8. That’s 8 of the 14 rounds (not including the 2 bye weeks) without a match. They also turned up twice with only 2 players.
• The 4.5 BAC team had 12 different players represent them over the season. Only 4 play on any one night.
• One player played for 2 different clubs in the 4.5 level.
• The playing order of the teams change constantly. It is common for a player to play in the number 1 spot one week and then the number 2 spot – for example- the next week.
• In the 3.5 league, no-one played the final round. All match-ups were declared forfeits.
• One of the Life Time Rochester teams in the 3.5 division turned up only twice during the season with a full four-man compliment of players.
• Metropolitan (3.5 division) only turned up 3 times with all 4 players. They handed out 5 complete team defaults. They also had a DAC member play for them once.
• The 3.5 division had all the matches in one round completed only once out of 14 weeks.

On top of all this, and I know from our own DAC team, there was countless match rearranging going on. In short, the travel league was a complete farce.

• Team spirit appears to have disappeared. Players are organizing their matches at their own convenience, at the venue of their convenience. Rarely does it seem tha all 4 matches and all 8 players present at the same time.
• There is no (or little) social value. Without all players present, the camaraderie aspect of the league is completely lost. Isn’t that the (main) point of the league in the first place?
• Commitment for a full season is virtually zero. With the amount of defaults – especially over the final few weeks of the regular season – players have given up. A fourteen round season plus finals where you are scheduled to play almost every week during the winter, and where players are supposed to travel to opposing clubs looks too much to ask. It is a travel league after all – what else was to be expected?
• All players in the league are supposed to be Michigan Squash members. It is impossible to figure out if that is in indeed the case, but my guess is that with all the players that have played in the league, many were not registered.
• Having any player represent two clubs during the same season is ridiculous. Having any player represent a club they are not a member of is just as absurd.

So what do we do about it? There must be stricter regulations, a different format, an environment created that promotes the camaraderie, and above all (which is something only you- the player can change) a better commitment from the players. Michigan Squash has decided on the following:

• The league will be played on weekends. Dates will be organized to one to two Saturdays a month for each team from 1pm – 5pm. This will cut down the amount of weeks a player needs to commit from 14 to about 8 (plus finals).
• When possible, matches will be played at clubs where a minimum 2 courts are available -  DAC, BAC, Franklin, Toledo, Metropolitan and Windsor. Due to the policies of the Life Time Fitness Clubs, they make it very difficult for Michigan Squash to organize travel league on their courts.
• Each team will still consist of 4 singles players playing on the given day.
• Three teams will be present at each scheduled round. Every team will play twice on the day meaning every player will get 2 matches per day.
• All 4 players from each team must be present on the day. Rearranging of matches is strictly forbidden.
• Point-a-rally scoring to 11 will be adopted.
• Players must play in the same order every week. Team rosters are entered at the start of the season with players in a specific ranking order – including all alternates. Players – including alternates - cannot play out of “ranking” during a match.
• All players must be registered for the league and must be US Squash and Michigan Squash members. Any team playing a non-league-registered player, or a player who is not a member of US Squash and Michigan Squash, will automatically forfeit that match.

For the complete rules of the league, click: http://www.michigansquash.org/blog/travel-league-rules/

I believe some players will not cozy up to the new rules. As always, when things change, somebody is bound to disagree. That’s fine. Then they shouldn’t play. But done correctly, the new format and a stricter structure should bring the ‘fun’ back into the league. Having 12 players mingling around, sharing a beer or two, supporting each other, makes the atmosphere a lot more “tournament-like” and players are also more likely to commit to a season if there are less days to actually make themselves available for.

Radical transformation is necessary if the travel league is to survive. This proposal still may not save it, but continuing down the spiral it is on now, extinction is inevitable and something has to be attempted.

Are YOU interested in playing and representing the DAC? I am taking names for teams at the 3.0, 3.5, 4.0, 4.5, and 5.0 level. E-mail me your interest. The effort will be made to have a league at each level, but realistic expectations are that it won’t happen. However, it needs to be offered and continually pushed and eventually, slowly, the league can start to expand again.

And let me once again make it absolutely clear: it is a season long commitment and be prepared to play at opposing clubs. From October to March. So sign-up. Join US Squash (and by doing so, the Michigan Squash as well). Improve your squash, meet many new people, opponents, make friends, gain the match experience so many desperately need and crave and be a part of a team while helping grow the sport.

HELP US IMPROVE THE DOUBLES

I am fully aware that as we head into another season of doubles leagues, everybody who signs up does so with the best intentions. We all want to play, be competitive, develop our game, and enjoy the social side of the sport. However, one of the ongoing problems with the doubles is the amount of subs required and last minute cancellations. Doubles matches cannot be rearranged like the singles league, and too often players (and I) are left scrambling to find replacements at the eleventh-hour – sometimes to no avail. To give you an idea of what I mean, the following are some statistics from the recent 2011 Summer League:

• Out of a total of 48 matches (4 matches a week for 12 weeks), only 3 were played in the entire season that did not require at least one sub.
• Overall, 40% of the players needed to be subbed out. Or, 78 total subs over the 12 weeks at an average of 6.5 subs a week.
• For the Thursday 6-7pm time slot, 60% of the players were subbed out. Over the final 6 weeks, all but 6 players were subbed out. That’s 18 subs out of 24 players, or 75%.
• One player dropped out of the league the day after the schedule was released.
• Incredibly, only 5 of the 48 matches were not played due to a no-show or a sub not being found in time.
• There were 4 no-call-no-shows.
• In three of the four no-shows we had in the summer league, two of the stranded players were already subbing for someone else.
• I do not have a percentage on this, but I know a high number of subs were requested the day of the scheduled matches.

We all know that things come up. The problem will never be 100% solved and subs will always be required, but hopefully we can start to minimize the frequency of them. For the league to be truly successful and for the program to grow, players need to be sure that when they turn up to play a league match, 3 other members will be meeting them.

Here are some suggestions to help everyone – including me – for the doubles league:
• Commit. Easy. You enter the league, you commit yourself to play.
• When you register, look ahead in your calendar at all the upcoming dates. If you know, tell me before I even do the schedule which weeks you will not be available for – then I won’t organize you for those days at all.
• Once I have done the schedule, I send it to you a week before the first round. You are able to see well in advance all the dates you are scheduled for. Enter all your playing dates on your calendar immediately.
• If you are not scheduled for a particular week, let me know if you would be available to sub anyway. To save time, I always try to contact the players that I know will step in. Plus, the more you play, the points you accumulate for the season.
• If you have a conflict, let me know straight away. The earlier I am aware that a sub is needed, the easier it is to find one.
• If you can organize your own sub – brilliant! Take it upon yourself to find someone to step in for you. Then make sure you let me know.
• When I send out the weekly reminder of who is playing, confirm your commitment. It’s peace of mind for the other 3 players, and me.
• If you know your calendar is hectic and commitment level is sporadic at best, DO NOT enter as a regular. Put your name down as a sub only. There are too many people entering the league and playing only 1 or 2 matches at the most for the season.

We all want increased participation on the doubles court, increased competition, and a thriving league. Without your commitment, that will never happen. To be cliché – help me help you!

MAKE A RACKET IN LONDON

We all know that one of the best DAC parties of the year is “Back to the Club Night”. Over 1000 people, marvelous food, music, dancing… all in all the perfect kick off to the season. It is scheduled for September 24 this year. Unfortunately, it’s the same weekend as the London Squash Tournament. So, if you are not inclined to hang it loose at the DAC, maybe a 3-day jaunt two hours away, playing squash and sipping a few brewskis is more your ticket!

I have played this event the past few years, and let me tell you it is worth every penny. The relationship between our two clubs has grown significantly, they support the DAC Classic in droves and we should be doing the same for their event. It’s only a $70 entry fee, and that also allows you to watch the professionals. They play the semi finals and final on the Friday and Saturday night respectively and it’s guaranteed to be outstanding squash. Ten of the entrants are in the top 100 of the world ranking from 8 different countries, the highest being Kiwi Martin Knight at 48.

Squash aside, this tournament is more than that. Just like our own DAC Classic, the social quality of the event is what draws the players. The London Squash Racquets Club has gone under complete renovation over the summer and I’m guessing it will be even more relaxing than before. You can’t help but walk through the place and want to sit, chat with someone, and drink a cold beer. Just make sure you play your match beforehand! And it’s a great fun town. Pubs and bars are all walking distance, as are the hotels. Speaking of which, the tournament has a deal with the Delta Hotel in downtown London for only $105 / night – cheap if you split with a buddy.

Wanna join me and play? Click on the following link for all the information: http://www.lsrc.ca/nash-cup/102-2011-nash-cup-professional-draw-announcement
The entry deadline is September 17.

THE NEW MICHIGAN SQUASH

Sometimes, we change to keep things fresh, sometimes we change just because we can, and sometimes change is thrust upon us because of impending doom. The latter just happened to be the case with the MSRA (Michigan Squash Racquets Association).

Even though financially the MSRA was pretty healthy, it was a dying entity, barely surviving from year to year, membership was steady but low, and the board was about as opinionated and divided as the Republicans and Democrats on Capitol Hill. The most prevalent, most turbulent issue being the realignment with US Squash. (See article: http://thesquashjoint.blogspot.com/2011/05/state-of-michigan-squash.html) That problem is now resolved as we are once again back in the US Squash family, but it didn’t happen easily nor without casualties. The board went through an overhaul of sorts and when that happened, things started to finally move along with everybody pushing in the same direction with the same agenda.

I have been attending as many MSRA meetings as possible, and have in fact joined the board. I have to admit, it has been refreshing. Things are actually getting done, motivation to improve and grow is the driving factor. Name change for one – they are now called “Michigan Squash” and have a new logo - as you can see above. The website is also completely new. It has a lot better lay-out than the old one and easier to navigate. Go to: http://www.michigansquash.org/ . The most important aspect of the website will be to keep it up-to-date. Current information needs to be available all the time, and old information removed in a timely manner. Whether this will happen only time will tell, but all board members are responsible for the constant upkeep. However, now that Michigan Squash is together with US Squash again, they can utilize all of their on-line tools in regards to ratings and rankings, tournament software, etc. That should be a huge help.

In another notable improvement, the schedule for the coming up season has already been set. That sounds like a no-brainer, but in recent years the dates for all the tournaments they ran were decided only a few weeks before they started. That’s not to say it may have to be altered later on depending on the availability of the hosting clubs but at least there’s a starting point and tournaments are spread out over the season rather than jammed into a 2-3 month period. The same goes for the travel league itself. In years past, by the time the schedule for that was planned, it gave clubs only about 1 week to register teams, and often the playing schedule was sent out the same week it began! The travel league is another major component of the Michigan Squash agenda, and I will be posting a separate article about that soon. Be prepared for a significant transformation.

All that aside, the most crucial piece of the puzzle lies with YOU – the squash player. Michigan Squash can work as hard as possible, but without membership it will be a lost cause. They rely on people joining and supporting. The way to do it is through the US Squash website. Joining US Squash includes the Michigan Squash membership. Go to: https://www.ussquash.com/functions/index.aspx?id=52 . Some of you may already have an account with US Squash (not membership) if you are (or have been recently) on the box ladders. For a small annual fee your contribution goes a long way for squash in our community.

The street goes both ways. Now that Michigan Squash are doing their part to grow the sport, it’s up to you to do yours.

TIME TO TACKLE THE WINDSORITES

The last we played the Cross Border Challenge, we received a pasting so callous that we are still removing the tail from between our legs. That 13-4 thrashing was our 8th loss out of 10 attempts. As much as I adore our friends from the south, I still want to dish out a flogging with a malicious smile and evil laugh and then dance a jig while waving the trophy above my balding head… figuratively speaking of course…

Saturday, September 17. We will even have home court advantage. You don’t have brave the tunnel or explain to the U.S. customs officer what squash is! If you are between a 2.5 and a 5.5 level for singles and if you would like to play a match against a Windsor player, register with me no later than Monday, September 12. We also need three doubles teams, but be warned! Generally, we never win any of the doubles matches, so it would be like a lamb to the slaughter… However, miracles have been known to happen and we may snag a rare victory. Either way, we need to front 3 pairs of victims.

Working with Windsor, we will be trying our best to match you up with a player (or players) of equal ability. That said, it may not be possible to do so since it depends on who from their club signs up, so I cannot 100% guarantee a match. Even if you register and miss out, come on down anyway and enjoy the day!

As usual, a keg will be available for all to sample. Matches will start at 2pm. The winning club gets to keep the Cross Border Trophy until the next one is hosted. We usually run two a year (home and home) and the second one for the season is currently penciled in for April (at Windsor). Last year we missed out on the second event in April because we just couldn’t fit it into the schedule.

This is one of the best social squash events of the year. They are strong players and even stronger drinkers. Plus, this is a terrific opportunity to play against someone new. And we need to beat them. Seriously. We really need to beat them…

DON’T NEGLECT THE DOUBLES SELECT

Even though you may not want to think about, it’s time to think about it. The next season is bearing down upon us. Labor Day has almost come and gone, another frustrating golf season is almost at an end, the kids are almost back to school, and that squash itch is almost becoming intolerable! A temporary relief for that tingling is the season’s first event: The Doubles Select Tournament!

This is the easiest doubles event you’ll ever enter. It can be very wearisome sometimes trying to find that perfect-match partner so I take all that guess work away from you. All you need to do is register individually and I will find you your “ideal” team mate. Of course, when I say “ideal”, it’s purely a matter of how I end up ranking the players. The strongest ranked player will be matched up with the lowest, the second strongest with the second lowest, and so on. Based on that extremely complex mathematical supposition, we are guaranteed to have all teams turn out with exactly the same standard! Because of that, the knock-out draw can be done completely randomly and I literally pull it out of hat. In other words, no team is seeded – where you fall in the draw is one hundred percent luck.

Here is the small print:
1. All matches will have a deadline for completion. Any match going past that deadline risks being defaulted. It is the player’s responsibility to make sure the match is completed within the time given. DO NOT hold back the tournament.
2. All matches are best of 5 games
3. Prize for the winning team.
4. The DAC accepts no liability for any loss, no matter how painful it may be. Recommendation is to drink a beer and if pain persists in the morning, see your squash pro for a series of lessons!

So sign-up! The tournament is scheduled to start on September 6. I need all entries by Friday September 2. It’s also good to take note, that in the 6 previous years of this event, we have never had a repeat winner. We have had A level to D level victors – virtually everybody has a decent chance. No limit on entries, but we do need an even number… for obvious reasons!

MEET A MEMBER - 8

New to squash, but not new to a court. The Club Championships this year featured this young man in the 3.0 draw and he had only played squash about 3 times. All I heard from his opponents before the matches was “who is this guy?”! After the match, they found out. Quick, athletic, fit, unconventional, and always with a smile on his face, he is rapidly earning respect with his squash. He is already the DAC’s best racquetball player.

MEET… ROBIN BASIL

The Squash Joint (TSJ): Don’t get me wrong, I am ecstatic that you decided to play squash, but why did you register for the squash club championships after only playing a couple of times before? Did you believe you could win the 3.0 division initially? Have you surprised yourself at what level you are already playing?

After playing squash just a few times, I began to truly enjoy the game and the exercise that came along with it. I figured now that I had a squash stick and had two games of experience under my belt, I was primed to play in the club championships. I had absolutely no idea of what level of play I would fit in which meant that I had no expectation of winning or losing, but just playing to have fun. I am not really surprised at my level of play because I still don’t know where I fit in. I have found what I lack in experience and court sense, I make up with speed, racquetball shots that squash players aren’t used to, and the ability to keep the ball alive.

TSJ: You are a very strong racquetball player. Tell us the main differences between racquetball and squash? Even though you have little experience with squash, do you think it is easier or more difficult?

The main differences that I have seen so far between squash and racquetball is the length of the rallies, shot selection strategy, and back wall play. The rallies last much longer in squash because you cannot hit rollout shots which end the rally as you can in racquetball. The shot selection strategies are similar with the rails, cross courts, and most angles, but the differences come with speed, height, and the right time in the rally to hit the appropriate shot. If you hit the ball off the back wall in racquetball, most of the time this will give your opponent an offensive shot to the front wall and this is truly not the case in squash. Also, you have the ability in racquetball if the ball passes you, to hit it off the back wall which gives you time to recover your court position. It is much more difficult to hit the ball off of and into the back wall in squash.

I think that the difficultly of both game depends on your individual weaknesses. For example, I think speed goes farther in squash that racquetball because I don’t care how fast you are, if you hit a bad shot in racquetball, you will pay for it and speed won’t help. Squash is a more physically demanding sport which makes it more difficult to play for a long period of time.

TSJ: You have been captured in Iran. They are torturing you for being a spy and are forcing you to watch the one movie you hate the most over and over again – what movie is that and does it get you to talk?

I cannot say that I hate any particular movie but I can tell you a movie that I kicked myself for going to see. I looked at the previews for one of the Twilight movies and thought it would be an action packed movie with fighting between vampires and werewolves. Boy was I disappointed when I had to walk out in the middle of a crappy love story with no action. I don’t think that it would get me to talk, but I wouldn’t really know until they hit play.

TSJ: The Iranian authorities didn’t like your answers. You have been sentenced to 40 years hard labor. But you get one last meal before your punishment starts and can enjoy it with the person of your choice. What do you order, and who do you spend the night with (your wife isn’t available, she’s out shopping!)

Caesar salad with anchovies on the side, bone-In Rib eye (medium), garlic mashed potatoes, sautéed spinach with peach cobbler for dessert. You’ve got to love that my wife is shopping before I am sentenced to 40 years and too busy to spend time with me. I would have my father enjoy my last meal with me.

TSJ: You have taken a lead role at the DAC with increasing racquetball participation. From experience, it is an uphill battle to say the least. What do you find is the greatest hurdle to overcome with this? What is the fix?

You are absolutely correct that the battle is uphill and I believe it is one worth fighting. My biggest challenge is to get a group of guys to consistently show up. Everyone that we play with leads very busy lives and it is difficult to commit on a weekly basis to show up for racquetball. The only way to grow the sport is to grow friendships and relationships with the people who are playing so that you look forward to playing weekly. We all make time for the things that matter most to us and we are growing a strong group of guys who love to play. There are no quick fixes to increasing participation. I could bore you with a list of problems to growing the participation, but it’s just a bunch of crap, it’s about reaching out and inviting new people to play and spending time playing with them.

TSJ: Earlier this year, you were appointed Michigan’s World Outdoor Racquetball State Director. What is your roll exactly, and do you think your influence can help more racquetball players join the DAC?

I don’t exactly know all of the responsibilities for the new roll but I am excited to take on the challenges that come with it. So far I have been organizing and assisting with outdoor tournaments and growing the sport of outdoor racquetball. I work closely with the World Outdoor Racquetball National Co-Director (Greg Lewerenz) and he is showing me the ropes. Greg is also the individual who introduced me to the game of squash. I hope that more of our outdoor guys would become members of the DAC and getting new members has been an uphill battle for me.

TSJ: Squash tournaments are very social affairs. Are racquetball tournaments the same? Is there a lot of extra-curricular activity that goes on after the matches? Could you tell us any juicy anecdotes?

I am sure that the tournaments for both sports are very similar. Drinking Beer is probably the most popular extra-curricular activity that takes place after tournaments. No juicy anecdotes come to mind but do we ever have guys that talk a lot of trash on and off the court.

TSJ: What is the one fashion statement you wouldn’t be caught dead wearing?

Knickers – I don’t have the golf game to back up the fashion statement.

TSJ: Tell us about the line of business you are in. Has joining the DAC helped your business in any way?

I specialize in providing companies with payroll deduction voluntary benefits and benefit communication / education / enrollment programs. The business and personal relationships that I have developed at the DAC have helped to grow new business and enhance existing business relationships. I have also noticed that just being a member of the DAC gives me tremendous respect and credibility in certain circles.

TSJ: What were your best subjects at school and which were your worst? Were you considered more of a ‘jock’ or a ‘nerd’?

I have always been extremely strong in math which came to me as naturally as walking. History had to be my worst subject even though I didn’t do bad in the classes, but most of the material was as boring as watching paint dry.

TSJ: You have also volunteered at the Racquet Up Detroit program. How did you get involved with it and how has your experience been?

This is another story that involves Greg Lewerenz and this is probably a good point to include that I don’t know how he is on my wife’s approved friend list for me, but he is. Greg, after playing squash with him for my first time, asked me if I would help teach some kids squash. I guess there was some big time squash tournament happening where all of the normal volunteers were playing and couldn’t make it. He told me about the program and it just seemed like a good cause and something that if they needed help, I could do my part in helping. I think that we need more programs like this that give youth / teens productive activities to focus their attention on instead of getting in trouble. Keep this quiet, but I this we probably need programs like this for some adults who could have more productive hobbies.

TSJ: What one piece of advice would you give to any 12 year old?

Go to work!!! I am not talking about a job, but I mean put in the time, dedication, effort, thought time, persistence, practice, prayer and go the extra mile in all aspects of your life. This is even more important in the areas of your life that you wish to be exceptional. If you want to be a great squash player, then put your heart and soul into it!!!! If you want to be a great leader or business person, put everything that you are into it and hold nothing back!!!! Nothing in life comes easy and the harder you work towards the burning desire you have in your heart, the closer you will come until one day your dreams will come true. Don’t slack off and expect things to come!!!

TSJ: Now for the final question. The one that pressures you and tests you to the extreme. Even worse than those Iranian authorities… What did you dress up as when you went trick-or-treating for Halloween?

BATMAN – How ironic because now they call me the “Boy Wonder” when I am playing racquetball. For all those non-batman fans, Boy-Wonder is Batman’s sidekick whose name was Robin.

A big thank you to Robin – I appreciate the time taken to answer all these questions! We hope he sticks with his squash while he keeps on pushing the racquetball agenda at the DAC. Expect him to improve quickly if he does, and become a threat for the upper level guys before too long.